Vegas 101:

[bizzy]

Buying Bizzy drinks is a good idea.

Take your Carnival Court cups to Casino Royale and fill them with $1 beers and bring them back into CC.

[MikeyTantalo]

Well bumping it is a good way to start it up again....um...

"If a 8.5+ comes up to you when your by yourself at a slot machine or bar in a casino in Vegas, and it's after 2Am...Things could get expensive"

LMAO! ooooooooh sooo true!! I am in a suit and NAME TAG and they will come ask me if I wanna do some "after hours" its hilarious..

[Breeze]

Never head to an after hours spot on the north side of the 515.

[Breeze]

Never believe the phrase

"It's okay, I am on birth control"

[Breeze]

Your server/ host does NOT want to sleep with you.

They have heard every line, every angle, every offer.

Move on......

[Breeze]

Never leave the club with a glass container.

Always plastic.

ALWAYS.

[Breeze]

Don't buy club "VIP" passes from street walkers on the strip

What if they are really hot and offer to escort you for the night?

Nevermind, they are either a cop or a working girl.

[Breeze]

ATM's are satan in disguise.

[Breeze]

Avoid "gourmet" buffets that serve seafood and charge $10 bucks for entry.

Think...think...think.....(lightbulb)

Yep, thats why it costs $10 dollars.

[Breeze]

You will not find your soulmate in Vegas.

The divorce rate is over 50% nationally.

What do you think it is in Vegas?

Fortunately, Elvis performs annulments as well.

[Breeze]

Wash your hands.

Strippers smell like talcum powder for a reason.

[Breeze]

Don't tip a bouncer $20 dollars and expect the red carpet to roll out.

[Breeze]

Actually, on the subject of bouncers, don't f%^$ with a bouncer.

Ever.

[Breeze]

Taxi drivers are club promoters in disguise.

I say "Ghostbar"

He says "da Crazeee hors iz betta"

I say "Ghostbar"

He says "da crazzeee hors iz betta, I hav free pazzez for your girz"

I say "Ghostbar"

he says something in reply at which point, I tell him to f%^* off, leave and hail another taxi.

[Breeze]

In general most of the following:

- accidents

- hangovers

- walks of shame

- incidents of vomiting

- credit card overcharges

- missing clothes

- missing wallet

- missing teeth

- STD's

- bar fights

- failed kidneys

- illegitimate children

- porcelain worship

- lands wars with russia

and angry girlfriends



all of them can be attributed, traced and blamed on the following two deadly words uttered so often and so foolishly in Las Vegas.




WHAT. IF.