I took a short trip to Vegas on a Monday through a Thursday. It was supposed to be Sunday to Thursday, but my clumsy ass fell in Atlanta and bruised my insides, then got trapped by the tornado. The good news from THAT fiasco is that I got some pretty sweet painkillers out of the deal.
Smaller crowd than usual this time, and I wasn't in charge of organizing very much. My friend April put things together for her birthday, and her "work wife" Kristy came along for her birthday/just got dumped by the married guy she's been "dating" for six years. One week before the trip, April texted me that she's bored with her boyfriend and dumping him before he has a chance to give her a birthday gift, because then she'd feel bad. So I find myself headed to Vegas with two freshly single ladies who will be on the prowl. Lol I tell the Mister to expect lots of drunk dials from me once they've disappeared for the night.
After the longest flight of my life on Monday (crowded flight, middle seat, massively overweight guy on the aisle that has apparently never been on a plane before because he was irate that he couldn't make calls from his flip phone during the flight), I finally land at McCarran. .We're staying at the Hard Rock, and I'm dubious, but for thirty bucks a night, I'll take it! I grab a cab, check into the room, plug in my dying phone and throw on a swimsuit to meet the girls down by the pool. They've been texting me all morning at this point, and they're very concerned I won't be able to "catch up" to their drinking lol. I'm already pretty buzzed from drinking before the plane...and on the plane...so I think I'm probably fine.
I go outside and realize that I have no way of actually finding April and Kristy, since I didn't carry my phone down from the room. No problem, though, I am a six foot tall black girl with a massive amount of curly hair- people can spot me in a crowd about 98% of the time. So I saunter for a minute, and sure enough, I suddenly feel someone grab my ass- it's April! :-) She leads me to the area where they've been sitting, but explains they are going to move soon because they're "losing the sun" and really want to get tan. And besides that, they really want to escape Adam.
Oh Adam.....he is kind of a tragedy in one act. But before I tell you about him, let me pause here for a small PSA.
Gentlemen- I understand that Vegas has a HUGE culture of hooking up. I understand that there are lots of women, most of whom look good, and you like to express your interest in these women in the hopes of some recreational activity. However! No one owes you their time and no one owes you their vagina. I don't care if you gave her a drink, I don't care if you're good looking, I don't care if you have a great personality- take the no and keep it moving! Calm the fuck down sometimes. Just like I'm sure you wouldn't give an automatic yes to any woman who approached you, with no regards to age, looks, or chemistry- ladies have a right to preferences too. Treating grown ass women like they don't know their own mind, and if you can just pester them enough, they'll give in and fuck you is pathetic and irritating.
So Adam.
He is by himself at the pool (I guess his only friend is gambling and he didn't feel like joining him), and has apparently attached himself to April. He's clearly far past wasted already, and is just...a mess. He's slurring his words and showing us his dance moves (please dear lord let white people forget about twerking soon and move on to the next decades-old dance craze...it is out of hand now lol). Apparently April has already fed the stray by kissing him (close mouthed, but still..that was more than enough), so we spend a few minutes trying to get him to set his sights on a different girl. The pool isn't exactly hopping, but there is a decent enough crowd that he sees a group of girls that he thinks look "nice" and ambles over. We hastily leave the area, and quickly realize there's nowhere to sit. April and I stop one of the waitresses and ask about the daybeds, which are all totally empty. She tells us we would need to spend $300. Um...no thanks. It is 3 in the afternoon, we have dinner reservations at 7, I'm in no mood to try and rack up that kind of tab at Rehab on a Monday.
But we are in luck! A few guys with a cabana overheard us, and one of them is very very into April (and her NY Yankees bikini), so they tell us we can come hang out with them. Awesome! We join them and they order shots. They're a bunch if business guys from Texas, and they're all really nice. April and Kristy have each attached themselves to two of them, and are already getting all schmoopy about it, so I settle in and talk to one of the married guys. We all have a good laugh at the guy who seems to have lost a bet with his friends (He is parading around in a hot pink monokini). Then I ask him if he's looking for girls on the trip, cause I can at least wingwoman for him. I meander through the crowd and locate a very cute redhead and bring her and her friend back to the cabana hang out. I'm left with no one to talk to, but I order a water and just relax.
And then.....(insert Jaws music)....Adam finds us.
He is even more drunk. And even more annoying. I kind of hope the guys will toss him out of their cabana, but they're enjoying the show and so tell him he can hang out with us. Of course, since they're all occupied- guess who he has to talk to? -_-
In spite of my effort not to go full stereotype on him (Sassy Black Friend!), Adam quickly gets the sense that I find him irritating. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say to him. All he talks about is how he can't believe April is cheating on him with another guy, or how he's never hooked up with a black girl before so maybe we should make out. I explain several times over that I am married, not interested in him, and definitely not interested in leftovers, but he persists. And really, with lines like:
"I just wanna slam my dick into you and cuddle you after."
"You should put your tongue in my mouth."
"We should go take a shower."
"I want to cum all over your face."
how could I resist?
Now he's insulted that I seem to think he's creepy. So he insists over and over that he's a nice guy. To prove it, he calls his mother and puts her on speaker. She doesn't sound enthusiastic. He gives the phone to April, who reports that his mother is pissed. He won't take the phone back, and so his mo hangs up.
Now it's time to go and start getting ready to go out. I give the guys some cash for my drinks, and we all exchange numbers and intend to meet up at XS later. Adam is now talking to April again, because he finally got the clue that she's the one who is too nice about this kind of bullshit. He would like to join us in our room. But he's "not gonna try anything" he "just wants to order a burger." She says no, you should find your friend and hang out with him. Or at least go back to your room and order a burger there. He is whining like a little kid passing the toy section at Walmart. I FINALLY have had it and I tell him no, we have to go and he is not joining us. I am fairly unimpressed that none of the Texas guys felt like they should step in and get this guy away from the girls they've been macking on, but whatever.
All for now- it's almost time for Mad Men! Next up, dinner at yellowtail, old men at Lily Bar, bottles at XS, and how I got offered serious money to sleep with a man and his wife at the Wynn!
Smaller crowd than usual this time, and I wasn't in charge of organizing very much. My friend April put things together for her birthday, and her "work wife" Kristy came along for her birthday/just got dumped by the married guy she's been "dating" for six years. One week before the trip, April texted me that she's bored with her boyfriend and dumping him before he has a chance to give her a birthday gift, because then she'd feel bad. So I find myself headed to Vegas with two freshly single ladies who will be on the prowl. Lol I tell the Mister to expect lots of drunk dials from me once they've disappeared for the night.
After the longest flight of my life on Monday (crowded flight, middle seat, massively overweight guy on the aisle that has apparently never been on a plane before because he was irate that he couldn't make calls from his flip phone during the flight), I finally land at McCarran. .We're staying at the Hard Rock, and I'm dubious, but for thirty bucks a night, I'll take it! I grab a cab, check into the room, plug in my dying phone and throw on a swimsuit to meet the girls down by the pool. They've been texting me all morning at this point, and they're very concerned I won't be able to "catch up" to their drinking lol. I'm already pretty buzzed from drinking before the plane...and on the plane...so I think I'm probably fine.
I go outside and realize that I have no way of actually finding April and Kristy, since I didn't carry my phone down from the room. No problem, though, I am a six foot tall black girl with a massive amount of curly hair- people can spot me in a crowd about 98% of the time. So I saunter for a minute, and sure enough, I suddenly feel someone grab my ass- it's April! :-) She leads me to the area where they've been sitting, but explains they are going to move soon because they're "losing the sun" and really want to get tan. And besides that, they really want to escape Adam.
Oh Adam.....he is kind of a tragedy in one act. But before I tell you about him, let me pause here for a small PSA.
Gentlemen- I understand that Vegas has a HUGE culture of hooking up. I understand that there are lots of women, most of whom look good, and you like to express your interest in these women in the hopes of some recreational activity. However! No one owes you their time and no one owes you their vagina. I don't care if you gave her a drink, I don't care if you're good looking, I don't care if you have a great personality- take the no and keep it moving! Calm the fuck down sometimes. Just like I'm sure you wouldn't give an automatic yes to any woman who approached you, with no regards to age, looks, or chemistry- ladies have a right to preferences too. Treating grown ass women like they don't know their own mind, and if you can just pester them enough, they'll give in and fuck you is pathetic and irritating.
So Adam.
He is by himself at the pool (I guess his only friend is gambling and he didn't feel like joining him), and has apparently attached himself to April. He's clearly far past wasted already, and is just...a mess. He's slurring his words and showing us his dance moves (please dear lord let white people forget about twerking soon and move on to the next decades-old dance craze...it is out of hand now lol). Apparently April has already fed the stray by kissing him (close mouthed, but still..that was more than enough), so we spend a few minutes trying to get him to set his sights on a different girl. The pool isn't exactly hopping, but there is a decent enough crowd that he sees a group of girls that he thinks look "nice" and ambles over. We hastily leave the area, and quickly realize there's nowhere to sit. April and I stop one of the waitresses and ask about the daybeds, which are all totally empty. She tells us we would need to spend $300. Um...no thanks. It is 3 in the afternoon, we have dinner reservations at 7, I'm in no mood to try and rack up that kind of tab at Rehab on a Monday.
But we are in luck! A few guys with a cabana overheard us, and one of them is very very into April (and her NY Yankees bikini), so they tell us we can come hang out with them. Awesome! We join them and they order shots. They're a bunch if business guys from Texas, and they're all really nice. April and Kristy have each attached themselves to two of them, and are already getting all schmoopy about it, so I settle in and talk to one of the married guys. We all have a good laugh at the guy who seems to have lost a bet with his friends (He is parading around in a hot pink monokini). Then I ask him if he's looking for girls on the trip, cause I can at least wingwoman for him. I meander through the crowd and locate a very cute redhead and bring her and her friend back to the cabana hang out. I'm left with no one to talk to, but I order a water and just relax.
And then.....(insert Jaws music)....Adam finds us.
He is even more drunk. And even more annoying. I kind of hope the guys will toss him out of their cabana, but they're enjoying the show and so tell him he can hang out with us. Of course, since they're all occupied- guess who he has to talk to? -_-
In spite of my effort not to go full stereotype on him (Sassy Black Friend!), Adam quickly gets the sense that I find him irritating. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say to him. All he talks about is how he can't believe April is cheating on him with another guy, or how he's never hooked up with a black girl before so maybe we should make out. I explain several times over that I am married, not interested in him, and definitely not interested in leftovers, but he persists. And really, with lines like:
"I just wanna slam my dick into you and cuddle you after."
"You should put your tongue in my mouth."
"We should go take a shower."
"I want to cum all over your face."
how could I resist?
Now he's insulted that I seem to think he's creepy. So he insists over and over that he's a nice guy. To prove it, he calls his mother and puts her on speaker. She doesn't sound enthusiastic. He gives the phone to April, who reports that his mother is pissed. He won't take the phone back, and so his mo hangs up.
Now it's time to go and start getting ready to go out. I give the guys some cash for my drinks, and we all exchange numbers and intend to meet up at XS later. Adam is now talking to April again, because he finally got the clue that she's the one who is too nice about this kind of bullshit. He would like to join us in our room. But he's "not gonna try anything" he "just wants to order a burger." She says no, you should find your friend and hang out with him. Or at least go back to your room and order a burger there. He is whining like a little kid passing the toy section at Walmart. I FINALLY have had it and I tell him no, we have to go and he is not joining us. I am fairly unimpressed that none of the Texas guys felt like they should step in and get this guy away from the girls they've been macking on, but whatever.
All for now- it's almost time for Mad Men! Next up, dinner at yellowtail, old men at Lily Bar, bottles at XS, and how I got offered serious money to sleep with a man and his wife at the Wynn!
Thanks for sharing, can't wait to read the rest.
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