Weekdays In Vegas

[Tara Denise]

"Excuse me, I was wondering what are your plans for this evening?"
...um...nothing in particular...why?
"We wanted to know if you would like to join us."
Oh, I don't think I should leave my friends.
"Our suite is right upstairs, maybe just for an hour or two?"
Oh! Ohhhh! No thank you
"Alright. Well, If you'd ever like to make some real money, give me a call. Five thousand a night is a nice way to live."


Do you think she was trying to get you just for the night or was she trying to recruit you into a recurring role?
This to me seems creepier than an Adam at the pool.

Eh, not really. Sex work isn't for me, but it doesn't inherently creep me out. Unless she was gonna sell me into an underground trade, it would at least be a clear transaction. Whatever they wanted, they took no for an answer and moved along. Entitled drunk douchebags are way worse. Guys like Adam feel that they can just badger, bargain and debate their way into someone's vagina, which is MUCH grosser IMO.

[Tara Denise]

LMFAO! A few things: making it rain in a non strip club, a very BALLER type move.When you first described it i was kiterally so impressed my mind almost melted.BUT, doing it with a bunch of ones? Agreed meh.You already know why you got approached and offered the cash, we have had that discussion in the past, regarding the whole "exotic" factor that seems to comes into play in Vegas. Also, sure the mister was quite distracted and scrambling to get home. LOL.

Siiiggghhh but I'm not even that exotic! I'm a very basic black chick, and I'm definitely not stereotypically "urban" enough to fulfill weird ghetto porn fantasies of deluded white dudes. I seriously don't get it! Lol my hair wasn't even big and fluffy this trip, I thought I was safe!

Haaaa and yes, the Mister made it from the office to his house in about seven minutes. He's so indulgent of my partying bullshit, I like to stay in touch. OMG though, he did say he wouldn't have been mad if I'd taken the XS couple up on their offer. "Five grand? Was the lady hot? You should've done it!" Haaaa! Best husband ever.

[AusVIP]

LMFAO! A few things: making it rain in a non strip club, a very BALLER type move.When you first described it i was kiterally so impressed my mind almost melted.BUT, doing it with a bunch of ones? Agreed meh.You already know why you got approached and offered the cash, we have had that discussion in the past, regarding the whole "exotic" factor that seems to comes into play in Vegas. Also, sure the mister was quite distracted and scrambling to get home. LOL.

It makes NOOOOO sense doing it at XS... i cant fathom this.

[Brooklyn Marc]

It makes NOOOOO sense doing it at XS... i cant fathom this.

I mean I dont' see the point of doing it at a STRIP CLUB personally, however you gotta admit, it's some shit you've never seen before and probably won't ever see. I guess I give it points for originality though, it is certainly in the upper crust of douchey behavior. Also I feel like if your going to do that a bunch of ones diminishes it. Might as well ALL in on the fuckery, don't half ass it.

[Brooklyn Marc]

Siiiggghhh but I'm not even that exotic! I'm a very basic black chick, and I'm definitely not stereotypically "urban" enough to fulfill weird ghetto porn fantasies of deluded white dudes. I seriously don't get it! Lol my hair wasn't even big and fluffy this trip, I thought I was safe!

Haaaa and yes, the Mister made it from the office to his house in about seven minutes. He's so indulgent of my partying bullshit, I like to stay in touch. OMG though, he did say he wouldn't have been mad if I'd taken the XS couple up on their offer. "Five grand? Was the lady hot? You should've done it!" Haaaa! Best husband ever.

Hence the word "exotic" is in quotations! Lol. And good for the mister for being pragmatic!

[AusVIP]

I mean I dont' see the point of doing it at a STRIP CLUB personally, however you gotta admit, it's some shit you've never seen before and probably won't ever see. I guess I give it points for originality though, it is certainly in the upper crust of douchey behavior. Also I feel like if your going to do that a bunch of ones diminishes it. Might as well ALL in on the fuckery, don't half ass it.

I mean... i have seen Scott Dissick also do it with a whole bunch of dollar bills... this is generally what they do... but he did it at a strip club...

Doing it at XS is as you said... the upper echelon of douchebaggery

What would be worse is seeing all the girls (and maybe guys) scramble for it...

I guess... shit happens in vegas...

[Brooklyn Marc]

I mean... i have seen Scott Dissick also do it with a whole bunch of dollar bills... this is generally what they do... but he did it at a strip club...

Doing it at XS is as you said... the upper echelon of douchebaggery

What would be worse is seeing all the girls (and maybe guys) scramble for it...

I guess... shit happens in vegas...

No i know the strip club is the place where doing it is pretty much the NORM,i meant i guess what i was trying to say is that i don't get why you would do it period. However if your going to go out of your way to do it at XS you might as well do it right. And yeah i'll be damned if you would catch me on my hands and knees scrounging for dollars but yeah some people can't handle their Vegas i guess.

[dnix]

No i know the strip club is the place where doing it is pretty much the NORM,i meant i guess what i was trying to say is that i don't get why you would do it period. However if your going to go out of your way to do it at XS you might as well do it right. And yeah i'll be damned if you would catch me on my hands and knees scrounging for dollars but yeah some people can't handle their Vegas i guess.

It would be pretty easy to catch me on my hands and knees, considering my nights start out like this.

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[Brooklyn Marc]

It would be pretty easy to catch me on my hands and knees, considering my nights start out like this.

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Awesome, you win the internet for today! Looks like a good time.

[Tara Denise]

I really wonder how the making it rain thing got to be so popular. I know it makes the person doing it feel like a ballerina, but I always just hate the awkward part where the girl has to stoop down and scoop up the money after. Lol I'm the WORST at strip clubs, though, I have no hand/eye coordination so instead of risking missing when trying to stick the money somewhere, I just kind of hand them a stack of money. Lmao no complaints yet, though.

And yeah...no way was I crawling around for dollar bills. Lots of other people were, though. Guess they had a rough day at the tables.

(Sidenote: Auuugghh I do NOT FEEL like typing the rest of this report. I'm all lazy and there's nothing nearly as it wresting as the current reports going on. Lol but I have to finish it, since I started it!)

Oops! Interesting* dang ipad!

[SuZQ]

You have to finish just so I can read more about the train wreck Adam.

[lcstreet82]

Great TR!! Waiting for the next installment

[dnix]

I really wonder how the making it rain thing got to be so popular. I know it makes the person doing it feel like a ballerina, but I always just hate the awkward part where the girl has to stoop down and scoop up the money after. Lol I'm the WORST at strip clubs, though, I have no hand/eye coordination so instead of risking missing when trying to stick the money somewhere, I just kind of hand them a stack of money. Lmao no complaints yet, though.

And yeah...no way was I crawling around for dollar bills. Lots of other people were, though. Guess they had a rough day at the tables.

(Sidenote: Auuugghh I do NOT FEEL like typing the rest of this report. I'm all lazy and there's nothing nearly as it wresting as the current reports going on. Lol but I have to finish it, since I started it!)

Your TRs are always a great read. Finish it.

[Tara Denise]

Why do I always end up spinning around a stripper pole?

Alright, this is gonna get shorter and shorter because I am really trying to power through this thing!

So Tuesday!

I wake up at about 8 AM, as usual, and head down to grab some breakfast at Mr Lucky's. April texts me that she's coming downstairs with her Texan and they'll meet me for breakfast. We sit around and the two of them get to know each other. He's divorced with two kids, she's delusional and feels that this is all going to become a real relationship. While we are eating, and as I sip my mimosa, the Texan's phone is buzzing like crazy.....it's Adam!!! Oh dear. He is getting ready to check out of the hotel, and apparently saw us sitting there. Noooooooo! He asks if he can come join us for a moment. Of fucking course, Amanda and Texan are like "yeah!" Their asses are all cuddled up on one side of a booth- so I get trapped on the other side with fucking Adam! This is not a good development. However, he's not plastered and is actually there to apologize. That's...sort of nice. I could give a shit because I don't know this kid at all, and would've been happy for him to just go away. And! He only apologizes for being drunk and infringing on the cabana. He doesn't say one word about being a sleazy perv. He's pretty much just apologizing to the guy. Whatever. Adam goes away, I finish eating, the lovebirds talk about visiting each other, then we all go back to our rooms.

April is tired (shocker!), and is gonna go try to lay in the sun awhile. I actually have errands to run on the strip (I know, who does that? Lol I am in a wedding there this November, and besides stopping by to talk to people at the venue on behalf of the bride, I had a dress that needed to be fit), so I decide to attempt to catch the free shuttle.

Apparently, the shuttle is broken down. So they are piling us into Escalades, which is way classier looking but also takes FOREVER because it can only fit so many people. It drops us at Fashion Show Mall, and I manage to walk up and down the entire strip over the span of a few hours. I run my errands, have a burger at Holstein's for lunch, then end up back at the mall in time for the final free shuttle. On the ride back, some guy who looks like a Ken doll (complete with gelled hair AND a bleach-blonde girlfriend!) asks the driver what clubs are good. The driver tells him XS is the best. And then I butt in and this happens:


Me:"Were you looking for a club for tonight?"
Guy: "Yeah."
Me: "oh well, XS isn't open on Tuesdays. Do you like electronic music?"
Guy: "not really."
Me: "Oh, ok, so I think your best bet would be 1OAK at The Mirage."
Guy: "The Mirage? Is that on the strip?"
Me: ".......yeah....."
Guy:"Ok and they play like regular music?"
Me: "um..it's open format, so kind of a mix, but usually hip hop and stuff. It's fun, it's my favorite club."

....long pause in which he kind of studies me, then looks uncomfortable, and I can tell he is trying to decide if he's going to say this next part or not......

Guy:"Alright...I'm not gonna get shot or something right?"
Me:"what?"
Guy:"um...how is the....you know, the crowd? It's just me and her and I don't want..."
Me:"no, the scary black people with guns aren't going to materialize when a rap song comes on."
Guy:"uh..oh....uh...thanks."

See, next time, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut and let people get sent to closed clubs.

I get back to the hotel, we all eat at Pink Taco (and by "we all," I just mean us three girls, we are sans Texans for the moment), and start to get ready. I get dressed and ready pretty quickly, since I've mostly just given up on my hair for the day. April and Kristy...take a bit longer. Lol this is not a big deal. Except I'd planned on swinging through the Chandelier Bar to say hi to Brooklyn Marc (it was apparently better that I didn't, since he met some nice women there and my presence would possibly be a hindrance...I'm a super good wingwoman for white guys, or any guys in a large group, but just me and another black person would mean automatic assumptions that we are together). It's taking so long because they are texting back and forth with the Texans. Apparently, they're all in some business meeting, so won't be able to meet us at the hotel to leave together. And then they might be going to a party in a penthouse somewhere instead of 1OAK. So now they're kind of sulking. Yay. Even better, the guys aren't really texting the same exact stories, so something might be fishy (ya think?). We eventually get out of there and head to 1OAK.

We get there, I text Joey because I know were supposed to come see him and he's gonna let us skip the line, but I have blanked on what he actually looks like. (I know, I know....I've seen him twice in person and was hammered both times...). Lol I see someone who I THINK is him and kind of wander over- phew! It's Joey, he let's us through, and we head in.

It is PACKED!! And very fun! We do some shots, then get drinks, and head to the dance floor. The music is great, there's confetti everywhere, I manage to grab glow stick things. The only problem we seem to be having is some supremely unwelcome guys. I know there's no age restrictions in clubs, and I know there's no reason not to go clubbing alone but....we somehow managed to pick up every single 45+ year old in the place, and they were all wearing flannel shirts and jeans, and they were all by themselves. And not friendly, HEY MY NAME IS _____! Let's party! Alone..just creepy, slowly inching their way up to dance on one of us from behind alone. Oy.

A weird non-fight breaks out (quick pushing and then one of the guys just walked off and left the club altogether), some girl who has been spilling her drink on everyone around her finally topples the whole way over (but comes back in a pair of fast flats...cause that's the problem...not how drunk she clearly is), and there's a couple doing some really dirty dancing. We are kind of pinned into a weird spot, and I need to pee (plus I need a break from the dry ice that keeps hitting me), so I start trying to finagle my way through the crowd without much luck. Suddenly- IT'S FORRESTER TO THE RESCUE!!!!! Forrester is my absolute favorite security guard of all time, and he really helped our table during my bachelorette last year, so I was very glad to see him. I was even more glad when he helped us three girls cut through someone else's VIP area really quickly so we could get away.

While we're in the bathroom, Kristy finally gets the text she's been waiting for- the guys ARE coming to 1OAK after all! She's pleased, but still sulky because it's about 1 AM now, we've been there awhile, and I guess her fun doesn't really start until this dude shows up. Lol ok whatever. I start making random friends with other girls at the sink, then we pause and take pictures while we wait on the guys to arrive and find us. They are there, and give us their table number- dance floor! Sweet! With a stripper pole! Even sweeter! IN FORRESTER'S SECTION! I'm thrilled. We head over, and everyone goes to their respective vacation boyfriends to either canoodle (if you're April) or pout and make the guy apologize a lot (if you're Kristy). I hit the pole, my only faithful friend lol. After awhile, April and her fella are ready to go, so I ride back with them plus the married guy, who very nicely buys me a coconut water even though he's gaining nothing but my drunken company. I wave goodbye to all of them in the lobby cause April is clearly going back to their suite.

Time to drunk dial the mister!! He asks if I got any prostitution offers that night, I say no- and remind him that I am walking through the lobby, so there's still time to pick up some action. This greatly interests a group of four guys stumbling out of a Tom green event or something that just happened. Lol I tell them that they simply can't afford me and keep it moving. Thankfully, my key works this time, I shower, say goodnight to the Mister in a completely NSFW way, and then pass out.

Ok, enough for now- tomorrow I'll do my best to get through Wednesday and finish this up. That will include: Brooklyn Marc, Wicked Spoon sober enough to know what I'm eating for the first time ever, Britney in "concert", all you can eat sushi, and not quite making it to Light. OMG and I just realized there is more Adam. SIGH!

[dnix]

Love it!!! BTW you did that guy wrong.....1Oak is definitely too gangsta for us folks. Thats why I refuse to go there.