ScotishrumBoy hit Vegas

[ronin1127]

reading this was like watching snatch for the first time. i could hardly understand it but it was still good!

[ScotishrumBoy]

The next morning found a far fresher, ready to go Scotishrumboy. I whisked past the two knocked out lads, and strutted to tha pool in PH. Music playing, hot girls galore and I was easing into the day with corona's. I got chatting to two Italian boys, father and son, who had mighty strong opinions about every sport. One minute they were waxing lyrical about the old firm, the next ranting about the state of Tim Duncan's knee's. I procurred a few handy sports betting tips from these typically excited Mediterranian folk and made the flutter down in the sports book after leaving tha pool.

When a got back ta tha room, i found two beaten wee lads on their beds. They fought Vegas and Sin City won. Meanwhile I was still letting roar. I ferried over to the MGM for more cash game fun but luck didn't follow me, I lost my buy in of 200 but undeterred I made ma way ta blackjack. There I made the aquantance of two perenally amused middle American ladies, who were also middle aged and weighty around tha midriff. We all made our way downtown, where I appreciated tha party atmosphere. A ditched tha two freaks and won a few hundered at tha blackjack, knocking every drink I could order along ma way. I also magaged ta watch ma sports bets come in which lifted ma mood even more. I must mention, in a bar outside the D, I was served a blue moon by a Thai looking lass who actually made me blush with her beauty, I was fuckin fanny struck, you nay see lassies like that in Nana Plaza anymore!

I hannee made any good conversations in a while, so I went for ma last option and turfed the two boys out of bed after collecting ma sports bet wins. i forced tham ta slam jager with me before we headed to moon. Whatever casino we were in, we won some bet on a big wheel, before going up tha lift ta moon. The club was jammed with fanny and with the three of us being mutted of our wee skulls, we got stuck in. I was making out with some Asian on the rooftop bar while young wazza danced with her freinds. I tried to get feel of her sausage pocket but she fucked me off. Not soon after, while I was telling two Aussie's how shite their sports are, two bouncer grabbed me and forced ma into a back room. Questions galore, but sure I was so fucked I nae knew what they were sayin. Eventually bevis an butthead kicked me off tha property and I got a taxi to MGM for more poker.

Unfortunally in the MGM I was too drunk to even see ma cards. I got a wee bit abusive too and was kicked out of tha casino. I was wandering aimlessly when I found Cooper and an entire hen party at a bar overlooking tha casino in NYNY. Needless to say, I was in there. Cooper was getting the face eaten off him by some Chi town lassie but I had a harder time makin ma inroads. Finally I convinced a chubber with some jars ta come back ta PH with ma but in tha room she was neigh gemme, even in a wee pump. I told her I had a small dobber and a fast arse but she was unrelenting. I was reduced to a ham shank with tha thundering snores of a hackit to ma left.

[ScotishrumBoy]

I woke up the next morning with the dawning realization that I had a whale to my left. I could tell without even looking because I could smell her sweat and hear her obnoxious snoring. I eventually brought myself to look around and was treated to a brick of a young woman; her shoulders were as wide as a shelf and her back had rolls of fat seeping on top of each other, her skin was pasty white and dotted with blatant orange freckles, she had a slag tag above her drooping arse and a trite tatoo of a shamrock on her wrist. I couldn't bring myself to look at her face, i beelined for the bathroom.

I sat down, normal as you do, expecting to let out a wee fart before I got down to the real business however as soon as ma cheeks had spread it was like someone had burst a hot air baloon in ma gut. A thunderous roar bellowed out of my backside, making a triumphantly rambunctious racket, whooping as if it was applauding its own existence. For 5 seconds ma arsehole hooted like a proud rooster. And then it was done.

Not surprisingly my new companion was now awake. I sleeked into the bed next to her and shuddered as she attemted to cuddle me. I was like PJ coming to terms with a night spent in Jade Goody's mouth, except I hannee even gotten some. My skin crawled every time she touched me. I closed my eyes and thought about how far I had fallen; from a classy bird on the plane, to a decent bird the first night, to a skanky yet hot stripper, to manky balck hookers and now this. Reminising about my previous exploits must have stirred something in my loins, because young rum boy was now up and ready for action. I wondered how many men were able to stand tall in the face of being uttterly repulsed by a woman as i guided her hand down to my not so impressive manhood.

When Young Wazza and Cooper entered the room, I was rattling at full speed and such was my tunnel vision that I didn't notice them until long after Young Wazza had his phone out. Their shrieking laughs stirred up a rage in me and I fucking went for Cooper. I raced in his direction and lunged at him with all my might. Wazza was still squeling, howling about my wee dobber. After the ordeal was over, us three boys relaxed over a spliff and planned out our last day.

[PiffyBooga]

hahhahahhaahahah!!!

[naterizzle]

THIS is how a trip report is done..... LOL!!! Keep it coming!

[bsmizzy07]

HAHA, idc if the rest of the trip report takes 4 months to post, this shit is priceless!!

[Cirilo Medina]

The word is played out, but I'll use it anyways; shenanigans is the only way to describe this one! Keep it coming

[Brooklyn Marc]

Just epic. Gotta finish this one.

[Cirilo Medina]

Now THIS is Vegas; dirty raunchy sporadic fun! Not all "we spent this much $$$, or popped this much bottles" or "I spilt my ace of spades on my expensive suit"! Keep it coming!

[kman90]

dude u cant leave me hangin! even breaking bad had an ending!

[ScotishrumBoy]

Tha day continued to devolve into debauchery, after finishing tha spliff we made our way down to tha casino in PH. There we proceeded to degen as best we could. As usual I was rooted to a blackjack table, Young Wazza and Cooper flitted between games but I had a more singular focus. I found maself down about $600, notably some clown next ta me didn’t split Aces and as a result I ended up busting twice on ma split 10’s. Usually I wouda let tha daft fucker have it but I was in a good mood and let it go. After that I decided the drinks weren't moving fast enough for me. I sent Cooper to pick up a bottle of vodka and the three of us free poured as we wandered tha premises on PH. Young Wazza hanne got a sniff of a fanny all trip and we were egging him on to try it with a wee filly. After finishing tha bottle, Wazza finally plucked up tha courage ta talk to a bird. He picked some Mexican young one playing slots alone, ney a bad lookin wee filly either. Cooper helped him get started and then left him too it. All of this time I was jumping in and out of table games and picking up as many double vodka's as I could. I managed to claw back about $200 but it neigh matter at that stage; the night was about havin fun, ney da money. We returned to check on Young Wazza and found him telling tha Mexican bird’s boyfriend about my rendez vous that morning. Good work Wazza, as usual!

At about 9pm we all found our way to tha poker table in PH, I was feckin toasted at this stage. I was splashing ma chips around and getting enough cards to keep ma head above water. I managed ta double up somewhere along the line but I was far too muttered ta remember tha hand, I just remember tha villain was steaming so he was, so I musta sucked out. Anyway after collecting ma chips I went to take a wee, when I returned Young Wazza joyfully drew everyone’s attention to the fact I had pissed all the way down ma pants, I was fuckin soaked! I chipped out and went back to the room ta change before we went clubbing. When I got there I took a quick lie down, since I was feeling worse for wear. When ai woke up, I knew something was wrong, I checked ma watch, 3am, Shit!!!

I felt real glum having missed tha last night. I took a shower, knocked an energy drink, got changed into ma best gear and decided to make tha most of what time was left. The boys weren't answering their phones so I resolved to get a quiet drink, I thought I'd go somewhere classy and settled on the Venetian. I found a bar in tha middle of tha casino floor and ordered a cocktail, gay ai know. Halfway through ma drink I noticed a solo woman giving me tha eye, now while I’m a fool, I'm smart enough ta know what that means, never the less my night wasn't going anywhere else so I approached and took a seat next ta her.

"Ai, where are you from?"
"Guess"
"Tha Philippines"
*eyes rolled, neigh a good start
It turned out that she was a Mongolian, now I have spent a bit of time in tha Far East for business (and pleasure), never in Outer Mongolia mind you, but I happen to have previously procured tha services of a number of “Sisters from the Steppe” from a particularly famous haunt for such ladies in Beijing. I asked the wee lass if she had ever been to Maggies, her face dropped, it turns out she used to go there every weekend while she was studying Chinese in Beijing. It transpired that we had quite a few mutual acquaintances! We bonded over stories of Maggies and Peking in general, we agreed that we must have crossed paths before but neither of us remembered the other. We shared a taste for debauchery and a detached sense of humour about it all. I guessed we were the same age too, even though she claimed to be five years ma junior. She was quite smart, her Mandarin was really good but she had a boastfulness that betrayed a lack of self-awareness however it was endearing rather than imposing. All this while we drank and drank and drank, she was mostly paying.

After a while she suggested we moved on to an after-hours club, by this stage I was already semi fanny struck; while she wanne a classic beauty, she did have an incredible shape and a magnificent bust, despite this it was her personality that really won me over, she seemed like a genuine warm person. Unlike the last time when I couldne get close ta tha door, she walked us to the front of the line in Drias and we got straight in. Inside we were drinking and dancing and having a ball. Coming out from the bathroom, I bumped into a hammered girl from Edinburgh, ai knew immediately she was gemme for a ride but I ended up introducing her to tha Mongolian then parting ways. Afterwards I got chatting to a Dutch guy who worked down the road from me in Glasgow, the night was showing me how small tha world was. Maself, the Mongolian, the Dutchman and his bird all took turns serving up round after round of shots. That's the last I remember from tha night.

I woke up to the sound of ma phone ringing, I was so hungover I couldnt even contemplate answering it. The bed I was in was completely unfamiliar, I looked over to see her there, she was naked except for underwear. We made eye contact, I responded and kissed her body, then we made love with her on top, for a moment everything was perfect but that moment was short lived. During ma shower the post sex glow faded and my hangover returned with a vengeance; I had the worst headache of my life, I was dizzy, ma stomach was turning at 360 degrees a second and I was barely lucid. After the shower the Mongolian’s bedside manner had completely changed, it was all business "You promised me $400 last night" I needed ta go to the fucking ATM.

Tha sunshine was killing me, ma mouth was as dry as Saudi Arabia and I hanne even bothered to check out of the room we had apparently booked in TI the night before. We wandered around looking for an ATM without a word being spoken. I finally found an ATM, coughed up the cash and we separated without a word, I was too hungover to decide if I was bitter or not. Later I would relive tha moment but it’s hard to put it in context because I was so sick with a hangover I could barely operate.

My phone was out of battery and I wandered semi consciously on the strip. After an eternity I found PH, the room key didn't work, check out time had passed, I was fucking livid. Finally Sin City had beaten me, I decided ma Galaxy Note was now useless and threw it in the bin next to tha lifts. That would be a decision I would regret, as all it needed was a charge. I joined the taxi queue and hoped the boys had taken ma bag to the airport, I also felt the urge to die. After an eternity I got a cab and crashed out in tha back seat. At the airport the driver woke me up, I was still confused and had no idea what flight I was meant to be on. I wandered around McCarren, after going to about 8 different desks I found my flight and managed to navigate security. The boys were waiting for me at the gate with my bag. On the plane I passed out into a deep dreamless sleep.

[Cirilo Medina]

Yikes!

[ocam]

One of the best TRs I've ever read on here.

[OmarLittle]

amazing!

[ArmyVegas]

We made eye contact, I responded and kissed her body, then we made love with her on top, for a moment everything was perfect but that moment was short lived. During ma shower the post sex glow faded and my hangover returned with a vengeance; I had the worst headache of my life, I was dizzy, ma stomach was turning at 360 degrees a second and I was barely lucid. After the shower the Mongolian’s bedside manner had completely changed, it was all business "You promised me $400 last night" I needed ta go to the fucking ATM.

Love to you......Love of the money for her...