Texts from last night

[SoCal Girl]

For Royale: The wonderful 909 IE.....

(909): We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.


(909): dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

(909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

[dnix]

Have you guys seen the FML website? It stands for F#$k my life. I just got the app for my iPhone. Some of them are totally fake, but some are flipping hilarious.

http://www.fmylife.com/

"Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail! We were very excited! Our mailbox wasn't empty anymore! She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML"

Irock has posted that site before. I think hes friends with the owner.

[Addicted2SinCity]

i loooove TFLN. my all time fave is

(601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

[Dank]

i love that site, i have to wait acouple days between visits so i can read acouple pages

[SoCal Girl]

Some more winners today:

(540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

(718): what happened last night?
(917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
(718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

(910): i should start naming my morning wood
(201): great idea but wrong number

[Addicted2SinCity]

a lot of times those texts make me wish i had gone to college.

[SoCal Girl]

a lot of times those texts make me wish i had gone to college.

In May we will get drunk and play beer pong....there college experience complete.

[P-tr-ck]

hahaha I love that page

(636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

[SoCal Girl]

hahaha I love that page

(636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

PATRICK!!!! Oh how I have missed you and your posts. I don't like the time difference over there. You need to move over her to the states.

[P-tr-ck]

PATRICK!!!! Oh how I have missed you and your posts. I don't like the time difference over there. You need to move over her to the states.

It really is because of the time difference. I'm sleeping when everybody else is posting and when I wake up I have tons of new posts to read through!

Really would love to move to the states. Maybe in a few years.

[Addicted2SinCity]

In May we will get drunk and play beer pong....there college experience complete.

yessss....all the fun stuff about college without the useless studying and tests

[Cisco419]

A few from Diego

(619): reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
(1-619): sounds legit

(619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

(858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
(619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

(619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

[Cisco419]

This one is just fucking hilarious and so wrong!!!

(619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

[Addicted2SinCity]

hahaha san diego people are awesome!

[BarrelO]

Here's one from my area that's particularly appropriate for this site.

(757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.