3/26-3/29, 2015: Helloooo Las Wegas! Pools, Plowing, and Marquee Madness

[acapp0813]

So these trips have become part of a tradition of sorts for us. Every year, we make sure to do Wegas at the end of March for the NCAA tourney. For us, it’s a great time to go. Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games, and the pools have just opened and the weather is typically just right. Just to give you an understanding of the whole “Hello Las Wegas!” thing, this is a reference to last trip and now we always refer to Las Vegas as Las Wegas. Myself and Ball (a member of this trip and the last) were at XS last trip where Martin Solveig was the DJ. When he came out to perform, he bellowed into the mic “Hellooooo Las Wegas!!!” “Dude, the fuckin’ guy can’t even say it right!” Ball said back.

The rest is history. I know, great story right? Without further ado, the trip.

Cast:
Myself, 26 yrs old from Denver
C – my brother, 28 yrs old from Denver
Ball – our best friend, 28 yrs old from San Diego
Line – our other good friend, 28 yrs old from Denver
Ama – Ball’s girlfriend, 29 yrs old from San Diego
Mich – Ama’s girlfriend, 24 yrs old from San Diego
Dad – mine and Chris’ dad, 59 yrs old and lives in Sacramento


Since this is typically a guys’ trip, we really didn’t know what to expect if the trip was going to be better or worse than it was usually. I would say it had ups and downs, but either way, a great time regardless.

3/26, Thursday (day)
Line, C, and I leave for the airport at around 7AM, coming from Denver, CO. Starting at the airport, we start off early, downing Jameson shots and a couple beers before we board. During the car ride, the plan was to keep the train rolling on the flight, getting some bloodies and whatnot. Nope. We all immediately pass out after takeoff, yet I think in hindsight it’s for the best. The flight from Denver to Wegas was short, and we were at McCarran before we knew it.

Dad met the three of us at our gate, inevitably sitting at one of the slot machines nearby. We get our bags, and take the shuttle to the rental car lot. Of course, we’re in the rental car line that takes the longest. An hour later, we’re at CVS getting booze. We are getting way too much booze. Dad decides to get bottles of Jack, Bacardi, and Ketel One, and two cases of beer. Fair enough. I decide to get two things of Pedialyte. So the reason we get a rental car is because we typically stay at Mariott's off the strip, as Dad gets free points because he travels for business a lot. This time, we stayed at the Residence Inn at the Hughes Center. It’s not too bad, about a mile off the strip and it’s pretty centralized too, right off of Flamingo.

The room isn’t ready. We can drop our bags off, but we don’t feel like leaving our booze and groceries with the clerk. We also make wrongful accusations that he’ll drink all our booze. He might also be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. So we put all of the groceries back in the car, and head to Caesars to check out the sports book. Dad makes a parlay on several teams, and I lay down $50 on Notre Dame against I forget who. After grabbing our complimentary betting drinks, we head to lunch at Ellis Island. Dad is a Wegas deal fiend, so naturally the four of us sit down and grab the $8.99 steak and beer dinner. The steak is delicious, and if anyone’s willing to get off the strip for a bit, check Ellis Island out.

After lunch, we head to Fremont to check out some cheap tables. For whatever reason, we’ve always had better gambling luck on Fremont than on the Strip. Plus, lower minimums and better odds on craps are never bad things. We check out Il Cortez, and I’m immediately down $100 on craps while Dad is up a good amount; C and Line are in the background watching. Seeing the difference in our stack of chips, I know I’m doing something wrong on this choppy table, so I cut my losses and propose we check out the mini-Bac table. All four of us are hooked. Commission or not, this table was great. I win my money I lost back, and everyone else is up. The drinks are coming around at a decent rate too, so that was always good.

3/26, Thursday (night)

At this point, it’s getting to be dinner time. We debate buffets, but when we finally are able to get to our room, we immediately hit the bed until Dad wakes us up and lets us know he ordered pizza. As we’re eating that and drinking our room beers, we start getting ready, as everyone sans Dad is going to Tryst for a table I reserved earlier in the month. I text Bobby Yeadon, and he tells me to get there around 10:30 or 11ish I think. He also mentions he was able to get us a much better and centralized location, no strings attached. Cannot thank this guy enough, great to work with. The table was practically right behind the dance floor tables.

So we’re at the table now. I immediately tip our busser Jason $20, and order the Goose/Moet special from our server. So a couple minutes later and the drinks are flowing well. Our security guy, Darrell, is awesome needless to say. I ask him to go get us some girls to join us, and he happily obliges. He brings back four; three really cute girls with one older woman. They are not really into talking that much. Chris pours one with lots of tattoos a drink, and I overhear that she’s a bartender, which I am as well.
“So, (name), you bartend huh?”
“Yeah.”
“… Okay, then.”
She is not having it. I don’t know if I’m already hammered or she’s just a bottle rat. In a few minutes, the latter is confirmed. She reaches for the bottle, and I cover it with me hand.
“Nah, girl, sorry.”

Going over to Darrell afterwards, I ask him in five minutes to ask the girls to leave. A couple of them politely thank me for letting them hang with us, and we part ways after that. So, the rest of the night is relatively hazy. I ask Bobby to take a shot with me which he obliges, and we go over our minimum way too easily. I get separated from C and Line, and eventually I find myself getting kicked out. Now, I don’t know how the conversation went exactly, but I know for a fact that the gent who kicked me out let me back in after I mentioned I had a table inside. Knowing me, I was probably falling over (hopefully not knocking tables over with me!) and spilling shit everywhere.

Later, C mentions to me that Line was trying to convince these two girls they were talking to to come back to our room. Yeah, the room with our dad in it. C also mentions that Line was calling the girl Chris was making out with a Nazi. Apparently she was German. That's Wegas.

[acapp0813]

3/27, Friday (day)

I wake up in a bush. The sun is beating down on me. My pants are wet. I pissed myself at some point. There’s cranberry juice all over my white shirt. Am I at my hotel? Did I take a cab? I am at my hotel. My roomkey is gone. The (probably gay) desk clerk is back in the morning.
“Yeah, so I lost my roomkey, going to need a new one. Room (#).”
“Sorry, but I don’t see your name on the room. I can’t give you a replacement without your father present.”
Couldn’t believe it. What? I try to sound as sober as possible.
“Sir, look at our last names. It’s like the most uncommon last name imaginable. Really?”
“Sorry, hotel policy.”
“Okay dude, have fun having my dad raise hell.”

Now, I had to have sounded like such a pampered douchebag. But we have a really unique Italian last name. C’mon man! I call C, I call Line, no answers at all. I call Dad, explaining what’s going on. He’s already at Caesars playing slots. So I’m still in my suit, leaning all over the breakfast buffet, still probably hammered, eating while all these little kids are running around. I text Dad.

“This cocksucker is being a real cocksucker,” I drunkenly text him. Again guys, I have no problem against gay people, I think I was just being drunk and spiteful at the time!

Dad shows up. I get up to the room, and sure enough, C and Line are passed out. Gee, thanks guys! I take off my wet suit, put it in a pile, and jump in the shower to rinse off. I get out, get dressed, and pass out in one of the beds.

I wake up. It’s 1 o’clock. Fuck. We were supposed to be at Liquid before noon for our daybed! I immediately text Isaac what’s up. I try and gather myself, put on my bathing suit, my stupid bro tank that says ‘Turnt’, and try and rally everyone else. Ball, Am, and Mich are already downstairs and are ready to check in. It looks like they’ll be coming with us as opposed to meeting us at Liquid. At this point, I’m absolutely delirious and giddy. In their room, they break out a handle of Captain and some chasers. I say my hello’s, and immediately get out of control.

“I got my handle of Captain, we’re getting a daybed, I’m ready to plow!” I say in my best Frank Reynolds voice.

I drop off my suit for dry cleaning, then Dad drops us all off at Aria. Never been inside Aria before, so we’re walking for a bit before we actually find Liquid. As we arrive, I mention that we’re looking for Isaac and we have a daybed reserved. He comes out, we shake hands, and he walks us to our daybed. Awesome location inside Liquid; I give Isaac a tip, and we start ordering.
“So didn’t you mention there would be sororities from University of Arizona here?” C asked me.
“No idea dude. Maybe they already left,” I responded.
It was probably around 2 o’clock by the time we arrived, so who knows if they actually ever came. Kind of a bummer, but it was a good time regardless, even though (of course) we go way over our minimum. So I don’t really remember leaving Aria. Did we get a cab? What the hell happened? Who knows. The next thing I know, I’m back in the hotel and I’m just waking up from a nap. Needless to say, I’m still hammered.

3/27, Friday (night)

I find myself in bed eating some sort of sausage potato hash. I shower. I try and coordinate with everyone, as we have plans that night to do GA at XS. I get in touch with Bobby, letting him know we’ll be arriving around (whatever time). C isn’t able to go. He’s either drunk, or just tired. Either way, it ends up being myself, Ball, Line, Am, and Mich at Encore. I text Bobby, and he walks us right into the club. XS is an awesome club, and it is absolutely packed, probably because Zedd is spinning that night. We walk around outside, and I cannot hold it together. I buy two Newcastles at the bar, along with some ginger ales, and we walk around some more.

I’m puking. On a tree. Ball gives me three pieces of gum. I sit down on a ledge outside, and the next thing I know, the other four are gone. I’m puking in a bush behind me while sitting, and I get a tap on the shoulder. Security. I give him an acknowledging wave, knowing I was going to get kicked out. I was probably there for only like an hour and a half. Line comes up, and asks me how I’m doing, and explains to the security gent that I “had some bad sushi earlier”. Line lets me know that they’re going to get a cab, as Am had her phone and a bunch of money lifted from her purse earlier. Seriously? These people pay a bunch of cover and sure enough, people are shady enough to steal stuff from somebody’s purse? Unbelievable.

So I’m by myself, with the security guy, and I’m talking completely sober at this point. Almost as if he was confused why I was being so cooperative with him.

“I mean, do you want to leave man?” the security guy asked me.
“No, not really sir, but I totally understand that you have to kick me out, so it’s really not a big deal.”
After a second, he just thinks.
“Okay… well, um, go ahead and just go over there and wait on your friends, then,” he says.
“Sure man, you got it. Really appreciate that.”

I don’t leave. After puking, I feel a lot better, but I’m not going to party by myself. But at the same time, I can’t just leave without seeing any of Zedd’s set. So my group is standing in line forever, and around 3:30, I go join them at the perfect time to get into a cab. Getting home, Dad says what’s up and asks me how the night went. I told him it was fine, and that I was glad to get plenty of sleep that night.

[acapp0813]

3/28, Saturday (day)

I wake up, no idea what time it is, but I feel great. We go to Caesars to cash in our sports bets. I ended up winning that Notre Dame bet, and Dad ended up winning that 4-team parlay to win around $500. I get a bloody from the bar right by the sports book, and we start walking to the Cosmopolitan. It is hot out. Absolutely perfect pool party weather. We’re walking in front of the Bellagio fountain when “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith comes on. One of us comments that it’s perfect “slow bang” music and we all proceed to hip thrust creepily slow. This is what happens when we day drink. We get to the Cosmo a few minutes later.

I’m nervous because MDC I hear is pretty popular, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take for four guys and two ladies to get in with just general admission. The line is long and unorganized, so I go up to a gentleman working there named Dennis to ask him where we should go. He explains what’s going on, and I told him I appreciated his information and gave him my name and a smile. 10 minutes later as we’re standing in line, Dennis points at the six of us and tells another gentleman to lead us to the front of the line. I thank Dennis again. Sometimes, apparently a friendly greeting and a smile is all it takes to stand out to someone. So the other security gentleman is obviously confused. Why are these four dudes and two chicks getting to cut everybody?
“So do you guys have a table?” the other security guy asks me.
“Nah,” I respond.
“Presale? A daybed? Anything?” he keeps asking me.
“No, we’re just doing general admission.” I mean, what am I supposed to say? I didn’t ask to be led to the front of the mass of people!
“Getting a little confused here, man,” the security guy says. “Are you trying to help me out here or what?”
At this point, why not? I slip the security guy a $20 and he lets us right by. Not bad (I don’t think?)!

So we get up to Marquee and it is hopping! So many people in the pool, lots of cute girls, and again, it is hot. We get a round of beers and go by the pool. Getting impatient, I walk in the pool and dunk myself. 10 seconds later, the realization is there. My phone is definitely in the pocket of my swim trunks. God. Dammit. This bothers me even more by the fact I was thinking about this earlier in the day and how we should get a locker right when we arrive. It definitely isn’t working. I am not letting this ruin my day, I think to myself. And I definitely didn’t. We’re all drinking in the pool with this mass of people, with everyone splashing around with the sun beating down as the bass drops. A girl comes up to me in the pool.

“You know you definitely kind of look like—“
“Josh Hartnett!?” I jokingly interrupt her.
“Haha, no! Like Justin Timberlake.”

I get the JT thing a lot for some reason. I honestly don’t see it, but I will definitely take it as a compliment. C introduces himself as my brother, Miles Timberlake (no idea). So the girl and myself are talking and drinking, gradually getting closer. We definitely hit it off it seemed. She was a really pretty girl of some sort of Middle Eastern descent. We start kissing, etc. etc. and then things start getting a LOT more intimate. We’re definitely between second and third, as she’s trying to convince me that it’s so busy that nobody will notice.

Naturally, my group, her group (she’s in Wegas for a bachelorette party), and the two of us get separated. Since the girl I was with didn’t have a cover-up or flip flop, the people working at Marquee didn’t want her leaving without them. Eventually, they give her a Marquee shirt and flip flops and we meet her friends outside the club. They mention they’re going to eat. How convenient. We go back up to her room which is, again convenient, at the Cosmo. Her friend is passed out in the other bed, so naturally we go at it. We almost pass out, and maybe we did for a few minutes, before we were at it again. Eventually, I got dressed and figured I needed to meet everyone for dinner, as we were going to a buffet later that evening. I gave the girl my brother’s number in order to get in touch with me later, as she mentioned she was going to XS that night to see Avicii. I resisted my inner-douche to mention that I heard Avicii wasn’t that good live, and that she should come with us to Marquee instead to see Alesso. I’m glad I resisted, but I might as well not have. Really expected to hear from her, but nada. Oh well. That’s Wegas I guess.

I get back to the hotel and press the elevator button to get up to the room and meet everyone. The door opens, and the entire group is there, ready to go to the buffet.
“Hey! Mr. Plow!” one of them says.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hey Andy, head upstairs and get dressed. We’re about to leave,” Dad said. I did so.

3/28, Saturday (night)

So remember when I said my Dad was a Wegas deals fiend? Yeah. We head to Green Valley Ranch, which is actually a pretty good buffet. Really good prime rib, a good spread of everything, etc. I really want to check out the Bacchanal Buffet at some point(opinions, anyone?), but this one definitely sufficed. I snagged an ice cream cone, and we headed out.

We tried to head out. Dad decided to have Am and Mich use their complimentary players card balances on some slots. We’re trying to drink and party here, Dad! It wouldn’t have been a big deal, but clearly everyone was winding down after the food and it was important to keep the train rolling. Eventually, we leave. On the car ride back to the hotel to change, Ball sees a nightclub sign.

“Hey Andy, is that guy famous? I saw him in a picture with Money May, so I figured he had to be cool.” Now, you have to understand Ball. He’s kind of a blonde sometimes, and he sometimes talks with an upwards inflection in his voice, or maybe he draws words out to make him sound a bit… flamboyant. We love him though. He’s our douche.
“Yeah, he’s a famous DJ. I think he has a residency at Hakkasan,” I respond.
A few seconds go by.
“Steve Oauoaki,” Ball says.
“… What?” Line responds.
“Steve Aoki?” I say.
“Jesus, Ball,” C says.
We. Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

This is the kind of shit that Ball says that is expected, but it’s so funny anyways. We call them Ball-isms. One time he called the sediment at the bottom of a wine glass ‘sentiment’.

“Do it, Armin!” C says in a high-pitched voice. This is pretty much what we say whenever a DJ drops the bass. I wish inside jokes were funny to everyone I explained them to.

Back at the hotel, everyone goes into their hotel rooms and beds way too fast. Ball and Am are in bed, Line is in bed, Chris is in bed, Dad is doing his own thing. Mich is up, but I have a limited window here before my last night in Wegas goes to shit. I ask Ball if he’s down to do anything, and he says they have to leave way too early the next morning. Those two are out. Line is passed out. I ask my brother if there’s any way he wants to go out. He pretty much says it’s not happening and he doesn’t feel well. Mich? She definitely is down to go out for one last hurrah. I give her three options: Marquee (the original plan), XS (in hopes I would miraculously find my girl from MDC), or Omnia (which Isaac recommended earlier on Friday). We end up picking Marquee. At first, I’m skeptical. Both Mich and I are not drinking as fast as we’d like waiting for the cab, and it’s just the two of us. How fun is this night really going to be?

Well, I can definitely say I have never had a bad experience at Marquee. Though after we pay our covers, Mich’s card keeps getting declined, so I’m stuck with drinks the entire night. Oh well. I’m ordering Rumpel Minze to catch us up to everyone, while at the same time making sure I’m never empty handed.

“Let’s make friends!” Mich says. Sure, why not? The main room is starting to get packed, so we start chit-chatting with people outside. We practically start a dance party right at the doorway. Alesso put on a fucking fantastic show. I see a light stick. How do I get one? A cute Asian girl passes by me.

“Excuse me miss, my name’s Justin. Could I have your glowstick please?” Her face practically lights up for a second, and then she does a double take.
“Oh my G—wait a second!” We both start laughing. I tell her it was worth a shot, and I see her throughout the night. Maybe I should play that card more?

Eventually Alesso's set is done, and the general consensus is it's time to head out. We danced our asses off, so we call it a good night and finish up our drinks. So Mich and I say our goodbyes to our new friends, and we both agree we need pizza. Secret Pizza is packed. We go across the street to PH and get literally the last slice at this place before it closes. We catch a cab somewhere right off the strip and sure enough, Mich loses her phone at the pizza stand. We go back. Phone’s gone, go figure. So she’s drunk and in a bad mood now. And complaining about her feet hurting. And trying to hail a cab on the strip. Oh my God stop it. Please just walk.

Long story short, we’re finally back at our hotel. The night was amazing with a minor sour note. I gave her a piggy back ride the last block or so just to be nice. I gave her a hug when we got to our rooms, and I told her I’ll see her again I’m sure when I visit Ball in San Diego.

[acapp0813]

3/29, Sunday (day)

It’s early. Ball, Am, and Mich have already left, while Line is rubbing my foot saying bye, as he has to head to NYC for business and he’s leaving now. Next thing I know I have to pack as well since we have to be out of the hotel around 2 o’clock since we have a late checkout. Me, Dad, and the bro go to Ellis Island for lunch, then Fremont (Il Cortez)for more gambling. All I can do during this last day is continue my deliriousness and giddiness, laughing about Steve Oaouki, plowing (in Frank Reynolds’/Danny DeVito’s voice of course), and other stupid inside jokes from our trip. At the casino, I immediately go to the mini-Bac table. Next thing I know my nerves are getting to me, and being awesome and having hyper-hydrosis (I sweat a lot), my pits are baaaaad. But I’m winning. By the time 5 o’clock rolls around, I’m up $200. Not a bad way to end the trip. We head to the airport, and we get through security at a perfect time. Me and C say bye to Dad (he’s heading back to Sacramento where he lives), while myself and my brother are heading back to Denver. The next thing I know, we’re in the car heading back to our apartment.

Epilogue

It wasn’t long enough. Sure I felt like shit here and there, but when we were driving to the airport, I could safely tell myself I wanted to stay, and as I’m typing this, I still want to be back. One part of me says ‘Fuck it, I should move there since I’m service industry, I could be a busser and make more money than I am now’. But another part of me says ‘Vegas is a vacation spot, not somewhere to live. Don’t get jaded from the places you love.’ In the end though, I love that town. I love the lights, the extravagance, the ridiculousness, everything. I had an amazing time, and if anyone has any questions, ask ‘em! I hope this story was entertaining enough, and I hope I had enough entertaining details. It was my first trip report, so go easy on me! Until we meet again, Las Wegas. It may be, and hope it’ll be, sooner than I think.

[artedm]

nice!

[kdiamond]

Great TR. Love the reference to Always Sunny. And good for you for outlasting everyone! Not always easy on the last night.

[Savs]

Great trip report. Bacchanal is good but I don't think its really worth the price. You can get a pretty good dinner for the same price at a non buffet.

[tony67]

Great report. Don't worry about missing Vegas man. I think about Vegas everyday smh. Even when I cant really afford to go lol

[xAmrit]

Great report. I'm kinda worried that people will get too tired by Sunday for my trip since we get there on Wednesday night. I'll probably end up out alone on more than one occasion.

[FightOn!]

Great report. I'm kinda worried that people will get too tired by Sunday for my trip since we get there on Wednesday night. I'll probably end up out alone on more than one occasion.

I just did a recent Wed night - Tuesday afternoon trip. You'll definitely crash out one of the nights. I would pick one to aim for. Since we had a table Monday night, we decided to stay in Sunday night.

[pantlessbellman]

Great TR! Always good to see fellow denverites who are just as much of Vegas addicts as myself!

[acapp0813]

Thanks for the feedback guys! Hopefully it was entertaining to read. To put a picture of it, here's Line, C, and myself, in that order right before we headed out to Tryst to get extremely inebriated:

VegasThursday.jpg

Sorry for the pouty drunk face! =P

[Cirilo Medina]

Love this! I'm a fan of Ellis Island, too. We always try to make one meal there

[matt1983]

I'll have to agree with you that I don't see the resemblance to JT either.

Great report.

[wat]

Way to rally, sir. And proof that you can be pretty much anyone in Vegas.