My Long Brown…, Absinthe Front Row, Vegas Noobs, & 6 Bottles of Cognac in 1 Night

[Cirilo Medina]

LMAO wow....classic, I wouldn't call that an interception or a cock block tho, that's a sub you knocked out and your boy did the exact same thing you would have done in that situation.

You're absolutly right! This IS Vegas, and he did fumble the ball. We should all be happy the vag didn't go to waste, and someone stepped up to the plate! If it went completely untouched, well then, THAT would be a travesty

[boxim]

nudge... this is like watching TV before netflix, waiting a whole week for the next episode...
really just cant wait for the rest

[wat]

Eh...I don't know about the Sugar Momma thing. After reading gumbo_techno's story I would have been terrified.

HAHA.

Still reading through the TR, but no joke, bro. I'm forever terrified.

ETA: too bad about the fumble at the end, bro. Keep it coming!

[ArmyVegas]

Gotta get this out before I forget. Promise will get it all done before New Years.

So I wake up and Ariana is gone. Mark is up and playing "Forget I was a G" by the Whitehead Bros. I'm like wow...really. Is that all you needed to enjoy Vegas? Anyway the Hangover is bad......top 5 in my life bad. I don't know if it's me getting older or what but i'm wasted. I head to get dressed and we all go and hit the Gym again. Only about 45 min because we all were feeling pretty shitty. We decide we need something in our stomachs. I still had credit left over so we hit the buffet and scarfed down some food from Aria. Hangover still there. Nothing we could do. Can't waste the days in Vegas. We already wasted enough time as it is. Besides we had Absinthe front row and Serendipity today. Hit the room and get dressed and we decide to hit Liquid and dive in the pool since it was pretty hot. Now Mark has an injury and has a big scar on his chest and he is self-conscious about it but I assured him it's alright. Mark is in great shape....(Like a short Adrian Peterson) I told convinced him the females would find it sexy. Think of him as a black Zangief from Street Fighter. So we get to Liquid and it's a pretty good crowd. Enjoying my birthday. Head to our Daybed and we get squirted by a girl with a water gun. Oh....I'll be doing my squirting on you later later.

Get to the daybed and "New Flame" by Chris Brown comes on...All of a sudden it seemed like every female in one motion got up and started dancing. Crazy what breezy does to these women....no pun intended. By this time our hangovers are pretty manageable. We order some pitchers and a couple bottles. I heard someone say something about pitchers being more tasty and everyone else just gets straight alcohol so women flock to the pitchers so I decide to get some pitchers for my brothers. Next we see a bachlorette party walk by and smile at us. It's going to be a good day....I can feel it. Pool starts getting really crowded. Glad we booked this bed. Women were standing and we had to push a few people away from our daybed. Anyway my boy Mark had his eye on this one blond with sunglasses and I noticed she was with a group. However he's too chicken shit to approach so I go up to the women and introduce myself and ask if they would like to join us at our daybeds and have a couple drinks with me and my friends. They were 4 deep and we were 3 deep so for some reason I thought one of us is having a good night..jk. They quickly accept and lay with us.....on the daybed. I introduce myself and my friends and I see the blonde whisper something into another girls ear but I think nothing of it. All of a sudden Mark gets the courage to talk to the Blonde, Dwayne talks to another one, and I talk to two brunettes. Wish I could upload these incriminating pictures...lol

So we talk and they are from Cali, in college and here to blow off some steam. Cool. Me too. I ask how long they are here for and they say 1 last night and they are going to live it up. Nice. Before I can reply the blonde gets up and whispers to them and I look towards Mark and he is pissed. Apparently she doesn't like Mark's scar and wants to leave. The other girls want to stay but she kinda hurt my bros feeling (I know...I know) and he's blowing up like get the fuck out. So they leave and i'm like what happened. He said he told her he was injured in combat and that's why he has the scar and she took another close look and got up. Man....what a bitch. Anyway, pretty much after that he didn't feel like partying anymore so we went back up to the room to get cleaned up for Absinthe and Serendipity. Learned my lesson from last time and decided to eat after. Didn't know what to expect. Get head back and I'm kinda mad I haven't spent this voucher from MyVegas for $50 dollars in Freeplay on the slots yet. Later for that. Mark and Dwayne both ask what the dress code is...I tell them casual and they throw on all black....and a snapback cap...SMH...Oh well...What can go wrong?

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Next up....Absinth Front Row....

[boxim]

Glad to have you back brother, LMAO at all black with the snapback

[ArmyVegas]

We get there and there is a long line for VIP. Grab our Champagne and water and hit the front row. These two mother f***kers take up the first seats and put me on the edge. Cool. WTV. So we get into the show and it's amazing. Love the close up and being able to see everything from 5-10 feet away. Then the Gazillionaire comes out and roasts us. Every stereotypical joke on 3 black guys possible was made on us. I'm thinking to myself "Damn....Why did they wear that shi*". Finally he gets off of us and gets on some young "republican's"...Asians....Latinos....EVERYONE . Then back to us and because we were all sitting together...with no females. He called us Homosexual Thugs. WOW....lol....It was all in fun though. Fast forward to the end because I don't want to ruin the show for anyone who wants to see it because it really is a cool show. They decide to have a dance off. So they need two people. They pull up one of the Republicans and......Dwayne. Oh shi*...it's on. I'm about to laugh. Basically it was a lap dance off with whoever grinds on the female the best wins. So they need a female and manage to pull an Middle Aged Asian woman who did not speak any English and did not know what was going on.

So the 19 year old republican (don't know his age) gets up and basically makes a fool of himself...like wow. I'm like...my boy Dwayne has this in the BAG! After 2 minutes of gyrating on this woman and her looking horrified it's Dwayne's turn. I'm like you better not lose Dwayne. Buttons by the PussyCat dolls come on and I did not know it was possible to dance this bad. I know Dwayne can dance better but...idk..maybe it was the crowd or something but he was as stiff as an ironing board. Women in the crowd start chanting for him to take the shirt off and he just stops. I'm like damn....could have had it in the bag with that. Gazillionaire comes back out laughing and guess what...it's a tie. A fuc**** tie...lol. Which in my eyes is a loss...lol. Luckily my boy Mark has video (which I can't show) and I will never let him live it down. We head to the back for free drinks after the show and then head to Serendipity 3.

On the way over we come into contact with 4 females who want to chill and drink with us the night and they are going to Serendipity 3 also. We get meals too big for any of us to finish and the waiter throws in a Huge HUGE slice of Birthday cake for free. I don't remember his name but he was like 7 feet. looked like The Rock in High School. Cool Dude. We end the night with more drinks and head back to the hotel good...scratch that...Great Birthday.

Next Up.....Spearmint Rhino

[AxelFoley]

Great read so far. The chick was lame for hating on the scar though. Bogus.

[ocam]

Good updates, thanks. Shame to hear about the attitude of that girl towards the scar.

[silverurfa23]

lmao hell of a TR bro!

[ArmyVegas]

Man I hate to do this report so late because I know i'm missing some details now. Oh well.

So Sunday we wake up and everyone is a little wasted. We peek outside and it's drizzling rain. What do we do now? By this time Mark is stressing and stressing that we should go to the strip club. We don't even realize that it's Sunday. So we think long and hard about which one to go to. I want to show them the best time so I pick Spearmint Rhino. I had a bad experience at another strip club so that one was out of the question. We call SR up and they waive the entry fee, offer free limo and 2 free drinks. WTF? Was it some sort of special? Idk but off we are to SR on a Sunday Afternoon. After getting picked up in a stretch SUV we get thoroughly patted down and enter the club through what looks like a back entrance. Get inside and they show us around.

Not that many people inside but about 20-25 Dancers. Cool with me. We start the drinking and order a couple of bottles and here come the girls. I get a couple of dances for my bro's and brush a couple of them off. IDK.....maybe i'm picky but the females I saw at that time were average. The way people were describing this club I was expecting Scarlett Johansson to walk through. Two girls caught my eye but never came by. Walked up to both and started to chat and apparently there is a stigma that Black Guys don't like to tip so they focus on the easy money. Old Old Old guys. LOL. Whatever cool.....i've been spending all day. So back at the table Mark and Dwayne are gone. O.K. enjoy yourself guys. Then....this crazy...and I mean crazy latina girl comes over. Looks like Sofia Vergara with really dark hair. Says I want to (****) your (Jack Colton), Dinner Talk (Tossing Salad), blumpkin's (smh) and just about every other dirty talk possible. I mean she was pulling out all the stops. Honestly I didn't want a dance or anything but she was pure entertainment....and bat shit crazy. So Dwayne comes back and she tells me to give him a high five. I do it not thinking and she says "Tag...now you both get to Double Team me". Classic. Like...I had to tip for the entertainment value alone. Eventually she gets called onstage and Mark returns.

Mark has been staring at her all night and wants a dance from her. I say go for it and when she gets off stage he quickly takes her in the back to VIP. Meanwhile this really really fit petite Asian comes and asks to sit on my lap. I say sure and she was cute and the vibe was right so we started to converse and she let me know Sunday is pretty slow and that I should have came on Fri or Saturday. That's when the top notch talent comes in. Anyway we chat and she seems cool so just as I was about to get a dance a bunch of girls start rushing in the club. Apparently the owner is here and he likes to see top notch talent on the stage when he gets there and there was no one on stage. So she told me she had to go and she will do something special just for me. I pull up a front row seat.

O.K. So I have to admit. While I "like" strip clubs pole dancing does nothing for me. Women dancing around and up and down a metal pole is cool like Cirque cool....but does nothing for me. But this time....wow. She threw on "New Flame" and wow.... I can't even describe it other than to say I guess it depends on who is dancing. Mark gets back and wants to take Sofia Vergara outside the club and me and Dwayne give him the "Uhh" face. Bobby Brown. Your Prerogative man. He leaves when she gets off and we don't see him for the rest of the night. Anyway me and Dwayne don't leave the club till late late and then we head out to eat take in the Vegas night lights and call it a Night.

Next up: Sex in the City, Trying to make it to STK and Marquee and the Hairdresser's Convention-FINALE!!

[Brooklyn Marc]

Man I hate to do this report so late because I know i'm missing some details now. Oh well.

Shit don't feel bad your better than me, i've been to Vegas twice since my Last TR and returning again in two weeks and I STILL didn't finish mine smfh. Your giving me a serious case of catholic guilt by finishing this. Glad to see the trip picked up and your boys got into it...

[ArmyVegas]

No way in hell i'm letting a year pass by before I finish this report. Writing now.....

[ArmyVegas]

So at this point it's Monday afternoon when we all wake up and we haven't really "Club CLUB'D" you know? So i'm a little bitter and since it's our last day i'm like fawk it.....we are going out on top today. Call up Cliff Orr and let him know we WILL be attending STK and then shortly after we need a table at Marquee. I'm getting shitfaced. We establish a great min for 3 people and i'm excited....Like Tom Cruise stepping on Oprah's couch excited. So we all get semi decent and head out for something to eat. Mark apparently knows a place to eat he saw online. So we take a 15 min taxi ride to....Cafe Teaze. I walk up and i'm kinda like oooooookay. Wonder what's this?

Pop my head in and i'm like...no this motherf**ker didn't take us to a brothel!! Asian Women in nothing but bra and panties ALL over the place....Buckey Naked!! I don't know what he had planned on eating but Vagina wasn't on my menu. Once the shock wore off and I actually looked around it was something like a lil hooters and they served Boba Tea, Appetizers and such. We sat down ordered and the women came over to convo and play games...with pasties on. Like seriously...i'm trying to play connect 4 with you...and everytime I look through the hole to make my move I see a pastie damn near about to fall off. Truly believe I lost that game due to some Diddy mindf**k games going on. How you not gonna feel your pastie sliding off? Nipples got feeling too. After that i'm like we need to go. My buzz is wearing off and we need to get ready for STK. We waive goodbye to the girls and take a taxi back to Aria.

So keeping it 100% real here. I like to play the Sex and The City slot machine. I might loose cool points here but IDGAF. I have hit some numbers playing this slot. So i'm like before we leave I gotta play this game. I know Dwayne and Mark take longer than me to get dressed so I take out about $120 from my pocket and tell Mark and Dwayne to go get ready...it's about to be A Different World when I show Sex & the City Who's The Boss... Mark says he's good. He will chill and drink with me down here while Dwayne gets ready. Dwayne is the "prettyboy" of the group so he takes the longest anyway. So waitress comes around and asks for drinks. Mark asks what I want and I said whatever just make it strong. I put my money in the machine and 5 minutes later she comes back with 2.......Shirley Temple's. "Man what the f*** is this??" I said. I'm looking down at the 3 cherries sticking out my glass like "this ain't right." But whatever...I told him to pick the drinks...they are free...let me just down these.

So within the first 30 minutes I hit Mr. Big. I think it was for $700+. Dwayne immediately tells me to cash out. I up my bet and say nope. I'm riding this till the wheels fall off. So it's seriously like jackpot after jackpot. I must be up like over $2,000 by now. I just keep cashing out, redeeming the tickets, playing again. Yes...i'm still drinking Shirley Temple's (not trying to break my lucky streak). By this time Mark has already joined in on the action and is hitting too. Next thing I notice is a group of 5 women gathered across from us on the other 2 games. Pick your tongue up Mark. All of a sudden my machine starts to cool down. Win...lose....win...lose. I'm still up but just not winning or losing anymore. So the girls peek their head around the corner and ask .." Are ya'll getting lucky tonight?".....

[ArmyVegas]

So before I can answer Mark's silly a$$ says "With ya'll......HELL YEAH!" Now I forgot to mention but Mark's voice is like 2 levels deeper than Barry White's so when he raises his voice....um...it can kinda come off as "rape-ish". Think of Morgan Freeman asking for a woman to take her panties off. Uh...I don't know how else to put it. It's very intimidating to some girls. Anyway the girls go back to their machine and i'm assuming they got creeped out. Next thing you know hot streak is back on. $100 here....$200 here...So the girls come around and check out what's going on with us. One of the girls wants to rub on my shoulders to catch some of my luck. Cool. I'm game. Now as this girl is massaging me i'm hitting bigger jackpots. $300+. Girl goes back to get on her machine and i'm like Nooooooo...you can't leave. I need you right here next to me. #simpingainteasy

So she comes back and says where can I sit? (Sidenote...We are all lit. I must have had like 20 Shirley Temples and too many to count shots of tequila and the shots were like triple shots.) I tell her right here and put my hand on my thigh. So as we are playing we start to conversate and she brings her roommate over. Her roommate is a little older and just got divorced. Maybe 28. So now all three of us are flirting and hitting jackpots and drinks are flowing. I already know. Text Cliff....tell him..sorry won't be able to make it. Cancel the table please. He texts back immediately. Ok. No problem. Stand up guy. I would have been pissed if someone canceled that close but he's a professional.

Look at Mark and him and the other girls are hitting it off. I text Dwayne to come down NOW and within 30 seconds he's there. Damn! Anyway he smiles and joins Mark in talking to the females but no gambling. So right now the girls are pretty much turned up. She starts to talk about how she never had um...chocolate. I'm like...uh...where are you from? A couple of the girls are from Russia, I think one was from NYC and she was from Iowa. They came to the Aria for this big hairdressers convention. She then goes to the bag she was carrying around and pulls out a mannequin head. Oh....do you just carry around heads where ever you go? She looks at me and says "Only when I need some". Okay then. Look lady...I don't know who you been talking to but you not just gonna come to my hotel of choice and outflirt me. I'm Chef Curry with the shot. So we all flirt back and forth more and more and this is the part I need help with everyone....

She starts to talk about this list her and her friend has to do...I can't remember what the exact name of the list is called but.....basically it's official....like a bucket list for "trying different flavors of ice cream". Anyone ever heard of this or know the official name of it?

Anyway they both start talking about going upstairs together with me and checking off Chocolate. The older one asks if it still counts towards chocolate if they both share. So I said actually i'm more like Milk Chocolate but I get your point. Then she drops the bomb. She tells me she's married. SMH. I can't. I can still flirt....but you know...I can't. Never have. So I already have it in my mind that nothing is going to happen but I don't care because i'm having a good time and i'm up considerably...but that doesn't stop me from flirting. So she's talking about everything that she isn't getting at home and I don't want the night to turn sad so I start to whisper little things in her ear that she wants to hear. She starts to arch her back like she can't take it and starts to fan herself...Yup...Wu-tang clan ain't nothing to f*** with. I proceed to continue this for like 20 minutes and as I look over at Mark and Dwayne these mofo's are talking to the women about who voted for Barack Obama, why they hate Fox News and not C-Span and why they don't associate themselves with the Republican or Democratic party. SMH. Basically looking at the Titanic sinking slowly. Oh well...I'm still flirting with the girl on my lap while the girl behind me is listening and it's all good until....

She

Gets

Up

[ArmyVegas]

I look down on my leg in disbelief and there was literally the equivalent of half of the filling of an Oatmeal Cream Pie on my dress pants. I was both intrigued, disgusted and impressed at myself....all at once. I said...uh...you left something. She looked down and said "that's not meeeee". I said yeah it is and we went back and forth for like 10 seconds....seriously?? Yeah. No seriously? Yeah. No but Seriously though? Yeah. Keep in mind we are all talking and flirting and i'm still killing it at Sex and the City. Reality finally hit her and she turned bright red as she looked at her friend nodding her head. I kinda realized I embarrassed her by mistake which was not my intention so I tried to turn it to a positive note but the damage was done. Her friend saw the look on her face and started the Exit Strategy...." we have to be up early tomorrow". I looked at Mark and Dwayne and the girls were not talking and then Mark just got up and left. Didn't see him the rest of the night and Mark said...Yo i'm bout to go upstairs and sleep it off....have fun....Damn.

I cashed out and probably had over 6k in my pocket so I took them to the craps table to learn how to play. Won about $300 and then they said they have to go. Damn. Seems like the Threesome gods of Vegas hate me...lol. I walked them to the taxi stand and they left quietly as if the past 6-7 hours never happened. No contact info...nothing. Oh well. This cash will more than pay for the dry cleaning. I walked upstairs and plopped on the bed. Woke up the next morning and everyone came out ahead except for Dwayne who didn't want to gamble. All in all we had a good time and now that their cherry has been popped they want to go bigger next time (excuse the pun). I came out ahead financially, had fun, laughed, enjoyed times with my brothers, reflected on the good ol days, drank and got came on by a beautiful woman from Iowa who I will probably never see again.

Till next time Vegas....