Canadians down for July 4th!

[muffalo]

Ok, I know this is a little late for a TR, but I got some time to share about an unforgettable Vegas July 4th week from some Canadians. Our crew consists of 3x Correctional Officers, a farmer, a real estate agent, and a bank manager.

Me: Consider myself the responsible member of the crew, 6th trip to Vegas and in charge of the planning.
Mitch: Best friend, loves gambling, women, and getting
Brandon: Border line alcoholic who loves dive bars
Clint: Bank manager, craziest guy I know, knows how to party and has the best game of anybody I have ever known
Josh: Business orientated individual with the largest bankroll, easy going guy who hasn’t had a gf in years and may not be the best looking guy in the room
Dane: farmer with a nice bankroll and may be mistaken for somebody from jersey shore. Loves to fist pump and spike his hair.

So we arrive Tuesday night, take a taxi to the Flamingo where we will be staying. Arrive, and notice the line is lot shorter in comparison to previous trips. The $20 dollar trick works like a charm and we get upgraded to a very large suite. Looks to be about 1000sq feet but it definitely has not been upgraded since probably 1980, which works fine for us as we will feel less guilty spilling booze everywhere and making a mess in a room that already looks like crap.
First night is pretty tame, we shower up and hit the strip. Stop into the ROCKBAR at the Venetian which is pretty dead but we see beer pong and being from Canada, we LOVE our beer pong. Played a few games, and got challenged by a group of UK guys to a match. This got pretty intense and needless to say, team Canada prevailed. We hit up the Venetian casino and all throw 20bucks down on black. JACKPOT! Take our winnings and stop at the Walgreens for booze and get a limo for the next 2 hours. Our limo driver Otis was a beauty and did the strip tour and drove around for a bit. Got dropped off at the Flamingo and decide our nights not over so we head over to Margarittaville and WTF, its closed! Fortunately the door was cracked so we head on in only to discover that there was not a soul around. So we pull out some chairs and make ourselves at home and finish off our beer before heading up to the room for the night.

47953_10152166662830262_1081159152_n.jpg

Wed morning, me and Mitch meet up with my buddy Clint who was down for a bachelor party. Other guys spend the day outlet mall shopping. We meet up with him first thing at the flamingo pool. My buddy Clint needs to be on a leash. He has the attention span of a 5 year old and within the first 20 minutes he has made friends with everybody at the Flamingo GO pool. The tunes were pumpin, and Clint is dancing with every woman who was over 40 and the younger attractive women were eating that up. Me and Mitch grab some buckets off beer and watch Clint’s Shenanigans. Clint starts grinding and dancing with an older milf in the pool and the whole pool is watching him to his thing.

525487_525133861592_109043164_n.jpg

Since Clint was not staying at the hotel he asks me for a room key to take the milf to my room since her flights leaves in 3 hours. I give him the key and he takes off with the milf. Very impressive considering he met her 20 minutes ago. Everybody at the pool sees them leave and random people start asking us if our two dancing friends went to a more private place and if they were coming back. I’m thinking he better be back as he has my key! 2 random guys suggest that when he comes back we give him a standing ovation for his work and game. Clint comes back 45 minutes later and we start a standing ovation, and within seconds everybody who saw him leave with her start giving a standing ovation too! Hell even people who had no idea what was going on stood up and gave him a standing ovation. He takes a bow and we take off up to the room shortly after. I get back to my room and notice that the bed frame is pushed 5 feet away from the wall and my floor to ceiling windows are now covered in hand prints. Good work Clint….ughhh.
Wed night we all head to the dueling pianos at the Harrah’s and watch the talented twins do their thing! Very impressive. Again Clint is dancing with every older lady and a few grandmas and the younger women are all over him after that. Even the piano players cheer him on and compliment his dance moves. Clint wears a shirt that says on the back “For an intimate encounter, call XXX-XXXX” (his cell number) Me and him meet some 7.5’s at the piano bar and take em back to the room while the others hit up Freemont street. Back at the room, he takes a bed and I take the other, and we do our thing with then 30 minutes later we hear a loud KNOCK KNOCK at the door and it doesn’t stop. Absolute cock block, and it turns out to be hotel security who said we were being too loud and they had numerous complains (REALLY?! In Vegas….) Anyways, that put an abrupt end to the fun and they 2x women do the walk of shame.

Part 2 of TR up next: Gay limo driver, flamingo service elevator nightmare, and some bottle service

[muffalo]

Thursday July 4th! Unfortunately Clint had to head back home today. We all hit up the pool again with some buckets of beer, watch the booty shaking contests and relax. Hit up dinner at the steakhouse at Camelot (Excalibur). Our group had $300 bucks off our bill thanks to the MyVegas FB game. Our limo driver Otis from the other evening calls our cell and asks if we need a limo ride. Perfect timing! The fireworks were about to start at Caesars and we were off to Tryst for bottle service. We take him up on his offer and watch the fireworks from the strip (the sidewalks looked terrible with shoulder to shoulder people for blocks watching the fireworks) Arrive at tryst and we had table #240 booked for $600min (2x goose, 2x moet deal). HUGE props to Bobby Y! Very easy to deal with and he is a straight shooter. Called his cell and he walked us in past the line within a minute. Table #240 was a perfect location for us, decent foot traffic and there were always women trying to get a photo off the waterfall which usually gave us an in. Even though during the day it was 110 degrees out during the day, they had the windows to the patio open so you could feel the AC from inside the club. Meet a few women, danced lots, polished off the bottles, good night overall. Manufactured Superstars spinned that night and were pretty decent overall.
603012_10151769521520071_851958912_n.jpg
Hit up Sapphires with the crew. Informed them to not go to the boom boom room with the strippers as their wallets will take a hit. We have this 1 stripped who would not leave us alone! She had some gaps and her teeth and responded to every response we gave her with a “Why”. It got pretty annoying. We spent a little bit of time down on pervert row and Dane made it rain a few times. Few minutes later, guess what?! Josh takes off to the boom boom room with the stripper with the gap teeth (he finally gave in). While I got a couple dances from the stripper who I thought was the most attractive (turns out her parents are both from Afghanistan, who woulda known) Anways, 30 minutes later Josh emerges with this depressed look on his face and insists that we leave now. Turns out 30 minutes is a lot of money in the vip room haha, oh well he was warned. Off to the room for bed.
Friday we explore the strip with our yard cups in hand. Have dinner at tender at the Luxor with another $300 off our bill thanks to the MyVegas FB game. Head on over to Vinny Favorito at the Flamingo and wow I have never laughed so hard in my whole life, that guy shows no mercy. (In case you’re wondering he is an insult comic, and insults the crowd for an hour straight) Hilarious stuff, even a couple people got too offended and left halfway through. We play some roulette at the Cosmopolitan after the show; we got up about 1k, and then lose it all. The waitress sees our dwindling chip stack and feels sorry for us and makes up very strong drinks to try to cheer us up. Head back over to Brandon’s favorite dive bar at the ROCKHOUSE for the rest of the night.
After the ROCKHOUSE, we head to the limo line. Ask the valet for a limo and he informs us that at this time on Friday nights they are all busy. Another valet comes over and whispers in the valets ear something, which we couldn’t head. Then the valet laughs and says I can get you a limo, but your driver is a fag. Just to screw around with the valet Dane says hey I take offence to that I’m gay. The valet is all apologetic and says “Oh I am so sorry, look though”, and sure enough in his phone his contact says Fag. Our gay limo driver rolls up 10 minutes later and we cruise the strip. This limo is as flamboyant as they come. Saying things like “Oh you sexy boys, what are your plans for later?” We decide to screw around with him a bit and say “we aren’t into girls either, we like boys”. The driver totally fell for it and we played along. Quote of the drive was Mitch saying “We are shy though, we don’t go all the way, only kiss”. 20 minutes later we get dropped off at the flamingo and our driver opens the door he swoops in and tries to kiss Brandon on the lips!! HAHA the look on Brandon’s face was absolutely priceless, needless to say he was a little pissed off, and we made fun of him for the rest of the trip for that.
Now things get interesting. Have you ever stepped into a Vegas elevator and notice how the elevator floors go from main floor to floor 5? Even wonder what is on floors 2,3, and 4? Well we get to our floor and see the cleaning guy struggling to load garbage on his cart and as drunk as we are we offer to help. This is at the service elevator near the laundry room on our floor. We insist that we will help him, and he is adamant that he will do it alone. We are like “no let us help you we insist”. His reply “no, your seriously don’t want to help me, thanks anyways. You guys don’t want to come down here…ok well I warned you”. In the service elevator we land on floor 3, doors open and the smell is so foul we always puke. All we see is probably about 40 Mexicans, sorting through hundreds and hundreds of garbage bags, taking out the recyclables. It was a real eye opener wow. So we try to get out of there and the service elevator stops at floor 4! The doors open and it’s the exact same thing, Mexicans and more piles of garbage. The smell is so bad that Dane finally pukes all over and then we head back up to the room for the night.
Saturday night we head to Lagasse Stadium to watch the UFC. The place is packed and is very rowdy. The stadium was divided between Weidman fans and Silva fans. When Weidman knocked out Silva the one half was silent and the other half was absolutely insane. We were on the Weidman side and I can say I honestly have never yelled so loud and high fived so many random people in my life. We all then head off to the House of Blues for our favorite band Steel Panther. We arrive at the HOB and 1 minute later they hit the stage, perfect timing! However, there is hardly anywhere to stand except the VIP table area. We asked security for table and he informs us that its only bottle service and bottles start at $240. DONE! We get that and rock out for the rest of the night. We then walk the strip, gamble some more and head to the airport Sunday morning. Trip Complete.

[headstrong]

Thanks for this much needed TR binge!

[Lord Chezz]

*slow clap*

[Davydmx]

Respect. Sounds like a blast without staying at Cosmo, dropping thousands on a table at XS/Hak/light, ...

[SuZQ]

*thumbs up*

[CisternaChyli]

great TR; loved every minute of it . Yeah man i wouldn't pretend to be gay lol; you never know what could happen haha.