Delays, a Pop Star and a Midget!!

[Our man in the Desert]

I’ve been reading the other trip reports and I’m now having serious Vegas withdrawals which are making the fact that I can’t get there this year even worse. Anyway I guess the best I can do is reminisce about last year’s trip, now I’m not sure if there’s an officially time limit on posting these as this is now almost a year old but I thought I’d share it anyway. Apologies as well as I tried to keep this as short as possible but I think I got carried away and only seem to have missed the things I’m not allowed to share.

Basically it was one of my best friends Bachelor weekend, although I wasn’t his Best Man I took over best man duties to organise the trip as I had been to Vegas more times than anyone else and I was armed with the help of you fellow JC members. It was the weekend before LDW last year and involved 11 guys originally from the UK flying out of Dubai, 2 school friends of the Groom from London, one of my best mates from home who now lives in Florida and the token Aussie who flew in from Sydney who also used to live in Dubai.

Thursday
7 of us were flying from Dubai through London and as we wanted to ensure we were all sat together we arrived at the Dubai International early which is pretty much when the disasters start to happen. Trying to check in we are informed the plane has been overbooked and that not only do we have no chance of sitting together 2 of the guys can’t even get on the plane. After about an hour of arguing with the airline staff about missing connecting flights, having a wedding to get to and any other excuse of why we couldn’t leave men behind miraculously 2 seats are found and we are all finally checked in. Now the messing around has eaten into our planned pre-flight drinking time so we manage a couple of beers in the obligatory airport Irish pub and board the 7hr flight to London Gatwick. Before landing in Gatwick we already knew we had a 4 hour layover but once we’re off the plane and through to the departure lounge to our horror we find out the flight is delayed for 6hrs! So we are now left with 10hrs to kill in the airport, we were now joined by one of the guys flying from London (the other had already taken off as he wasn’t flying direct) and it was mutually agreed that our only option was waiting it out in the pub. A few hours into our impromptu session in the airport one of the lads returns to the table with a pack of cards and another with several shots and so it starts; looser takes the shot, winner decides what shot is bought for the next game. Now I don’t know if one of the lads is just bad at cards, unlucky or decided he wanted to get smashed but he lost the majority of the games and I still have no idea how he managed to hold himself together when we finally boarded the flight to McCarran.

Due to the amount of alcohol we drank before the flight and the concoction of sleeping pills being passed around I think most of us got some sleep on the flight and were feeling pretty fresh when we landed all things considered. Immigration was the quickest I have witnessed in Vegas and before we know it bags are collected and we are in a limo on our way to the Cosmo. The other 4 flying from Dubai had missed there connection at LAX and after meeting up with the Aussie decided it would be quicker to drive it then wait for the next flight (oh were they wrong!). Anyway we get to the Cosmo and my friend from Florida had already checked into our room so I’m straight up the elevator whilst the rest of the lads get checked in. Once everyone is settled in, showered and changed we head down to the casino floor of the Cosmo some of the lads are off gambling, I grab a quick bite to eat at The Henry then set on the task of collecting the money for the table we had set up at Tao. (I had already set everything up for the weekend through David Lee who used to work at Lavo, David has never failed to make sure I have a great time and he completely outdid himself this weekend.)

We get to Bond for a few drinks then start to head off towards Tao when the rest of the group finally get in from their drive from LA, we say a quick hello and tell them we will meet them in the club. A quick limo ride to the Venetian and we meet D. Lee at the top of the escalators outside Tao, by this time its absolute carnage but we’re told to get our ID’s ready and we are straight passed the rope with the exception of one of the guys who has left his ID so performs a quick 180 and makes a beeline back to the Cosmo to pick it up. We are led into the club and follow David to our table which wasn’t what we had previously agreed, instead of the two tables we thought we were getting we are bang on the dancefloor. We order the bottles and start to work on getting through our minimum, the rest of the guys get straight into the club no hassle and the usual Vegas madness ensues. Now I have no recollection of what time it was possibly sometime before 2am but the Best Man goes down like a ton of bricks, security asks us where we are staying picks him up and tells us not to worry he’ll have him in a cab and we can crack on. Rest of the night is a hazy memory but I do know cranberry should be banned as a mixer for drunk friends when you are wearing a white shirt, locals know where to go for drunken food after a club and I shouldn’t gamble when finally getting back to the hotel.

[Our man in the Desert]

Friday
So Friday we have a Grand Cabana set up at MDC, we figured that after our first night out following the trip halfway across the globe it would be easier for people to pick themselves up and just head downstairs. I make a few rallying phone calls and the two of us from our room head down to the grooms room about 10am to get them moving, we knock on the door and are greeted by the groom and two of the other lads music blaring pacing the room they hadn’t been to sleep. The groom tells me that the Best Man hasn’t been seen since being led out of Tao and asks me what to do; my response was that usually you can’t report anyone missing until after 24hrs and since this is Vegas I reckon that should be extended to about 2 weeks! We realise that we have no chance of getting them moving so we leave them to it and head to MDC. We meet David Lee outside he leads us to our Cabana and tells us that he has a few people to deal with that day so he would be back to check on us later. The rest of the lads all drift in at various times and it isn’t long before everyone catches their second wind the drinking gets going again and an invite is thrown out at a group of Canadian girls. It was about this time I get a call from the groom telling me he had good news and bad news, the good news was that the Best Man had been found but the bad news was he was in hospital and he had to go get him. About an hour after that phone call they arrive at MDC with the Best Man still wearing his hospital gown and his face battered. To the best of his knowledge he had apparently gone face first down the escalators outside Tao and was sent off to Hospital. The groups of girls seemed to change throughout the day and at some point we had Pixie Lott and her 2 friends join us, as I’ve been away from the UK for 7 years I had no idea who she was as I’m sure many of you won’t but a quick Google search you’ll find out she’s had a few UK No. 1 singles and is pretty hot. Unfortunately our resident photographer for the weekend was one of the guys who hadn’t been to sleep didn’t make it to MDC so we don’t have any photos to prove it. We left as the place was shutting down having ploughed straight through our minimum but as with everything in Vegas the more money you throw at things the more fun you seem to have. I have to say having a Cabana with your own pool definitely draws a crowd.

We hadn’t planned anything for any of the nights after the pools as we weren’t too sure how people would be feeling and I’ll be honest I had a horrible experience of trying to keep going after a day at Liquid a couple of years ago. One of the guys had been told by his wife that he had to go to Ghostbar while he was there, she had been years ago and had a great night so he was adamant that he had to go. So four of us agreed to go to the Palms to check it out, now by the time we got there it was pretty empty but that aside it’s still an incredible view. After a few drinks I decided that I wasn’t doing too well and told the guys I had enough and was giving up on the night, so back down the lift and into a cab back to the Cosmo. As I walked back into the hotel I bumped into about 6 of the other guys and explained I was calling it a night, apparently this just wasn’t going to happen and before I knew it I was being forced back out of the doors of the Cosmo. I can’t really recall where we ended up going but I know we somehow ended up in LAX. Now I know there are far better options in Vegas on a Friday night but with the group of guys we were with we could’ve had fun anywhere. The whole day did finally catch up with me and sometime about 2am I back doored it without telling anyone, aimlessly wandering to try and get a cab via the McDonalds in the Excalibur?

Saturday
We had no plans during the day so everyone was left to please themselves, a few of us hit Wicked Spoon buffet to try and soak up the previous days excesses. Food was ok but nothing compared to the ones we have in Dubai. The majority of us then caught up for a couple of hours at Boulevard Pool lounging around in the sun having a few beers before we had to meet at 6pm for the grooms surprise.

Now we had to make sure that the groom didn’t get away unscathed on his bachelor weekend but we didn’t want to do anything that would piss him off too much. A couple of months before we were due to fly out to Vegas another friend from Dubai had been over on his friends bachelor weekend and told me what they did for his. After a few emails around the guys it was quickly agreed we would do the same and I put the wheels in motion, basically we would hire a midget called 5 Cent (see what he did there) who would handcuff himself to the groom. After sending a few emails to the guy we agreed on the fee and the details, 5 Cent had sent a few pictures of himself and was always wearing a white suit so we decided to hire the groom a matching suit and go for the whole Arnie and Danny De Vito in Twins look! So after speaking to his wife to be I got his measurements and hired a white tux from Tuxedo Junction which was delivered direct to the hotel and at about 5.30pm I went down to the Grooms room to break the good news that although he had just got ready to go out he needed to change. He can be very particular with his clothes so I was worried that he wouldn’t go with it but fair play to him he pulled it on and declared ‘I make this shit look good’.

So we head down to the lobby bar near the elevators where the rest of the lads are and whilst they are all chatting I go off and meet 5 Cent and hand over his cash. He walks behind me and seeing the groom in his matching suit walks up to him, bangs on the handcuffs and shouts ‘Hi I’m 5 Cent and I’m going to make you my bitch!’. We had agreed for him to be with us for 4 hours and go on a bit of a bar crawl but we managed to walk as far as Hyde and ended up ordering a couple of bottles. It wasn’t surprising that we got quite a few looks as the groom and 5 Cent walked through the Bellagio handcuffed together in matching suits, with people stopping asking for a photo. 5 Cent is a bit of a diva demanding drinks and food but all in all was pretty entertaining, but as the 4 hours are coming to an end we head back to the Cosmo to change and cut him loose early to get our night at Tryst started.

We were joined by another friend who used to live in Dubai who had flown in from Kuala Lumpur who we hadn’t seen since he had left. Again we arrange to meet David Lee outside Tryst who tells us ID’s ready and we are straight passed the rope no waiting (well apart from someone who forgets his ID, again!). We have a table just off the dancefloor and before we know it the place is packed, our Security is working overtime telling people to keep moving and leading one of us off to the bathroom at any given time. I am useless with names but he was an absolute champion and I think I must’ve tipped him $80 through the night. I seriously have no idea how you can cope with the place when its like that if you don’t have the refuge of a table to get back to. Another great night, think we actually managed to stick to our minimum and I called it a night about 3am (I think) and luckily missed the incident of the flying cigarette and security.

[Our man in the Desert]

Sunday
This was the day I was looking forward to the most after reading a lot about EBC I couldn’t wait to get there. We had agreed with D. Lee on a cabana downstairs we had been pushing for one of the Bungalows but he told us we didn’t have a chance with our agreed minimum. We all left the Cosmo together in a limo and when we met up with David inside Encore he had this big grin and told us that he had managed to get us a one of the bungalows for the same minimum. So we reach the entrance to EBC and would you believe a certain individual had forgotten his ID again, much to the amazement of the rest of us. Once ok, twice possibly but three times in 3 days!! We get taken straight up to Bungalow 2 introduced to our waitress and the bottles start coming. Now we knew one of our other friends from Dubai was in Vegas the same weekend for a different bachelor weekend with his friends from back in London, we hadn’t caught up with them yet but knew they were coming to EBC. We saw them as they walked in and they had arranged a cabana through another host, once they saw where we were they started trying to work on getting moved to Bungalow 1. I think it took them about 20mins before they were joining us next door. The next 5 hours were possibly the best I’ve ever had in Vegas, EBC delivered on every aspect! The only disappointing thing was the day didn’t last forever and we were asked to leave as the place was shutting down.

We all got back to the Cosmo and I headed up to the room to start packing as I was flying back to Florida with my mate before heading to New York for a few days while the rest of the lads were flying back to Dubai the following day. A few of us decided that we would try make the most of our last night by heading to Lavo, we were down gambling / drinking in the Cosmo while I tried to set up a table. Most of the lads didn’t want to pay the minimum so we changed plans and decided we would check out the Rhino. I won’t go into detail but I ended up getting back to the hotel at 8.30am and we had to leave at 11am. The only problem was that I was still booked on the flight to Dubai and hadn’t changed my flights for my extended holiday, I had originally booked through Expedia and the Airline told me I could only change my booking once I had flown the first leg. I then had to try and change my flights to get back to Dubai direct from New York instead of from Vegas via London; this wasn’t an easy task considering the state I was in.

Once I got to McCarran airport I was in the usual demoralised state vowing that Vegas had tried to kill me and I would NEVER return! I then had a few chilled out days in New York recovering before heading back to the desert.

This has to be the best trip in Vegas I’ve had so far and makes it all the more frustrating that I’m not there this year but I will definitely be back in 2014. I’m trying to get hold of some of the photos as I managed to take none, if I get them I’ll update the TR to show you what we got up to.

[OrangeCrush]

Great trip report, Might have to steal that midget idea for my friends bachelor party!

[Our man in the Desert]

Great trip report, Might have to steal that midget idea for my friends bachelor party!

I've got his contact details, let me know if you want them and I'll PM you.

This was a link to a video he sent before we booked him of some mobile advert he was in : http://youtu.be/CPBLC3lgc_4

[mikey_rfc]

great trip report! What do you guys do in dub?

[ocam]

How much did it cost for the 4 hours? This could be good for my trip next week

[Our man in the Desert]

How much did it cost for the 4 hours? This could be good for my trip next week

He was $750 for the 4Hrs then we had to get him a few drinks etc. although no alcohol as he had driven down from LA. Wasn't too bad as we split it between everyone and to be honest it was worth it just to see the grooms face when he slapped the cuffs on him.

[Our man in the Desert]

great trip report! What do you guys do in dub?

Cheers, its a bit of a mixed bad to be honest Recruitment, Finance, Sales, Construction etc. we all met from going out around Dubai and through friends of friends etc. but we've all been here for years now.

[not a vet but no rookie]

That midget idea was golden

Very funny TR. That's how it's supposed to be done

[MikeK32]

Nice report!!

[*ho_train*]

lol...my friend is thinking about getting a 'midget' for our birthday in vegas. she sent me a link www.rentamidget.com and 5 cent is featured on there. soooo funny! sounds like you guys had an amazing trip!

[Our man in the Desert]

lol...my friend is thinking about getting a 'midget' for our birthday in vegas. she sent me a link www.rentamidget.com and 5 cent is featured on there. soooo funny! sounds like you guys had an amazing trip!

That's the same website that we used, they were really easy to deal with and everything was exactly as we planned. I literally couldn't stop laughing the whole time he was with us!