A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

[Tara Denise]

Alright- so I'm going to have to break this down into days. Lol every time I try to write out the entire thing- I get sidetracked and/or tired!

The Players: Eight girls, including myself. We were down two soldiers (one friend had legal troubles preventing her from making it and the other is engaged to a guy who thought a budget of $200, all in, for the weekend was reasonable...she got the boot and my very best wishes with that marriage). So we are left with The Bachelorette (me), the Birthday Girl, the Married Lady (on her rain check bachelorette since she eloped before we could have one), the Cowgirl, the Model, the Dancer, the New Yorker, and the Actress.

Friday!!

Half of us arrive at the airport, our driver is waiting on time (thanks Presidential!), and we get to the Cosmopolitan quickly for our early check-in. I'm already feeling great just pulling up, because this place is totally gorgeous, and I can't wait to get to our Wraparound and have our "Booking.com slow motion run" through the room. A nice-looking guy hands us bottles of water for the approximate thirty second wait. We approach the desk, and I smile very sweetly and hand over my credit card and my passport (easier to stick a twenty in that), while the Model chats up the guy about the multiple occassions we're celebrating. He asks if we want a high floor, I say that we do. Then I ask if there are any suites available in the East Tower, and he says he doesn't see anything, but to hold on, he needs to check on something. He walks off....and returns a few minutes later and grins at us. He says "you're going to love me, I got you room 5982, available right now!" We're pretty happy about this news! Even happier when he goes on to say that we have no resort fees, no exra person charges (I put four names on the room), and food/drink credits. He hands over the keys, and says "If you ladies needs anything else, ask for me- my name is Eddie."

So we get to the room. And it's beautiful, exactly the way it look son the website (sad that this surprises me, but, well, I've been to the inside of Imperial Palace before lol so you never know!). And of course the view is amazing!!

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[Tara Denise]

As the second shift of girls arrive, and our groceries are delivered (thanks, Vons!), we start to get ready. We're headed to 1OAK and Joey said to get there at 10:30, so we leave at about 10, even though two of the girls have had flight delays and won't be there until late. We get to 1OAK, meet Joey, walk in, sit at our table....(somewhere in the 70s...I think ) and are really happy about it...second later, we're told that we're being moved! They take us over to Table 68...which is, of course, right by the stripper pole. Needless to say, this made us VERY happy!

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THe New Yorker finally arrives, and Joey gets her in without a problem. At some point, the Model gets sick and the Birthday Girl takes her straight back to the hotel (I missed most of this, I was on the pole most of the night). TNico (another JC user!( and her boyfriend arrive, get in with no problem. Then later in the night, the Married Lady arrives and text messages me that they won't let her through- and are telling her my table is at capacity (? or maybe it was the club unsure about this, I was in a haze of sorts lol). Oh no! I send her Joey's number, and within one minute, he's at my side asking if that's my friend texting him, I tell him it is, and he goes and gets her through. So now everyone is accounted for!! More dancing ensues!

1OAK was a fantastic way to kick off the weekend, everything was great. Our waitress was BEYOND nice (apparently she and I talked for ten minutes straight at one point) and extremely hot (truly amazing boobs, very pretty face, great figure in general), and our glasses were never empty. Our security guard was 100% on the job the entire time, which was SUPER helpful when we got a few male bottle rats skulking around, plus a few creepers who wouldn't take no for an answer (seriously, gentlemen, it is one thing to hang out and have fun, it is another to try to kiss someone multiple times after she says no)...he was so nice to The Model, and checked on her the next day (yes, I exchanged numbers with our security guard...he wants to hang out if we're ever in town and he's free, I say why not?). Joey checked on us multiple times, and was overall just a ridiculously nice guy. It was tons of fun!

At some point, people start departing. But I had plenty of drunk energy and didn't want the two girls that got in late to feel like they were only out for an hour of dancing then had to go home. So I raged on until I realize I'm too drunk to focus my eyes, and The New Yorker, Married Lady and I returned home (with a mini seltzer bottle fille with vodka?? TNico I hope you and your bf didn't get the short end of the stick as far as drinks!!) at about 3. Everyone has worked out their spots to sleep in, very sweetly leaving space open on the bed for me (or maybe not so sweetly, since the sick-as-a-dog Model was in there lol). Funny enough, the New Yorker decided to sleep on the weird swervy chair (and stayed on it all weekend!) and the Married Lady took out an eye mask from her bridesmaid gift bag and slept on the terrace! I look at the clock and realize I have approximately 4 hours to rest before I have to get up and head downstairs for a spa treatment....


Alright, more later!! Believe it or not, I am all bogged down planning Vacation Bible School Lessons for next week! Ha!!

[boags]

great TR - more please!

[ocam]

Awesome read.

[Chuck]

I knew this was gonna be a good one before you went...proving me right so far!

[kman90]

Tara is a vegas vet so I expect nuthin less...good TR so far....but I've learned a new phrase!
we got a few male bottle rats lol!

[Tara Denise]

Saturday!!

Saturday morning!! I wake up at 7 AM (one of my many curses/talents in life- waking up early no matter what happened the night before) and tip-toe around everybody to get ready. I get dressed, grab breakfast (a granola bar and coconut water), peek out onto the terrace to check on the Married Lady (sound asleep), and make my way downstairs for my body scrub and facial.

I've really never been a "spa" person, but the girls bought me some treatments so I of course have to go. It was really relaxing and kind of a nice way to get recharged for the day. They had all kinds of snacks and tea (with lots of honey for me, my voice totally disappeared for the weekend) and after I was done, I had the option of going to the sauna and just hanging around in the quiet atmosphere for awhile. But I had a pole-dancing class to get to- so after contemplating if I could possibly steal the robe and slippers they provided, I get dressed and get out of there- time to be "That Girl!" and wake everybody up!

We get up and hustle to the Hard Rock Cafe for Night School For Girls. We split two cabs, and are running late, which has me mildly on edge (they said NO LATECOMERS in big bold letters, and I've already paid for this). Our cab driver must sense my pending freak-out because he gets us there very fast! The woman at the door greets us with "Oh, you must be Tara [last name], party of eight?" which makes me think we're really really the last ones there. I say yes, and as we're signing up and signing waivers, and waiting for our final four to arrive, I notice that there's two other groups who are even later than we are....and they are enormous parties of Asian girls. HA! So that's how she recognized us on sight!

The class is much more fun than I thought it would be (it was the Cowgirl's idea), and we have lots of fun. We all get stripper names (Mine is Fonda Cummings). One group of ladies is kind of a dud, not only are they not exactly traditionally who you would expect/want to see on a pole, but they refuse to do most of the moves. This brings down the energy of the class quite a bit and, about halfway through the class (and three margaritas in!), I finally just say "what the HELL did you think you were signing up for?! SHAKE YOUR ASS OR GET OFF THE POLE!" (I swear it came out nicer than it reads!) Of course the Dancer is ridiculously good at everything, and at the end of class, the instructor has her try some moves for "extra credit"

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We (very unwisely) decide we can probably just walk back to our hotel from here before we get burgers at Holstein's. I say unwisely not because our feet begin to hurt (we're all in sneakers and athletic clothes...and carrying high heels, so I'm sure we were quite a sight!), but because there are SO MANY CREEPS on the sidewalk who just HAVE to talk to us.

Fellas, I am not anti-flirting, REALLY I'm not. But when your opening move is trying to give me a book of your poetry, or a CD of your music (yeah, buddy, I'm gonna go home and put this right in my boom box...in 1997)....or just yelling random food items at me and my friends (Ooooh! Brown Suga! Brown Suga! Heeeeeyyy White Chocolate! Ohhhh Cocoa LOVE!!)- you are wasting your time whether I'm available or not. AND once I've explained that I'm not single, you are wasting time, this isn't going to happen- let it go! Trying to talk me into it accomplishes nothing! If I was going to cheat, I would either not tell you I am engaged, or I would let you know that I am interested! I do not undertand this phenomenon...aren't there a billion girls wandering around who might actually hook up with you? Why the insistence on pursuing the lady who is aggressively saying no?Lol at some point, I just start screaming back "It's TOO FUCKING HOT for this SHIT! NO ONE WANTS YOU!" and giving them the finger (because I am a lady). It of course STILL does not deter their creeper bullshit, but it makes me feel better!

[Tara Denise]

We go to our room, shower and change, then go to Holstein's....

the food is really the best thing ever in life. I have the Birthday Cake and the Cereal Bowl shakes (with vodka, of course), and the Rising Sun burger.
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At some point, the waitress brings out some kind of liquid nitrogen candy (the Cowgirl, being from Denver, knows exactly how to consume this lol).

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SUPER yummy meal, all around!

We head to Bamboo pool, figuring that a few minutes of time at the "quiet" pool will be a nice time to enjoy the sun and relax before we start getting ready to go to dinner. The pool guests have other ideas, though. It's completely NUTS! There's guys doing canonballs into the jacuzzi, people dancing, it's a zoo! Lol this is fine, we still find chairs to lay on near each other and just watch the madness while we drink some beer.

TBC!!

[Tara Denise]

Tara is a vegas vet so I expect nuthin less...good TR so far....but I've learned a new phrase!
we got a few male bottle rats lol!

Oh it became quite a theme of the weekend!! Lol I guess they thought they hit the jackpot!

[BuckeyeFan]

Great reading so far Tara...
or just yelling random food items at me and my friends (Ooooh! Brown Suga! Brown Suga! Heeeeeyyy White Chocolate! Ohhhh Cocoa LOVE!!)-

I think those are some great pickup lines....lolol.

[kman90]

Gimme more details Tara...feed me

btw - best TR picture ever
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this is why I love Vegas

[Tara Denise]

More Saturday!!

After we go back to the room from Bamboo, it's time to start getting ready so we'll be ready for our limo pick-up. There is much hairspraying and nipple taping.....and then we're ready!! Our driver, John, calls me to make sure we'll be downstairs on time....I tell him that about 7 minutes late should do the trick (it takes us awhile to get from East Tower to valet). We leave the room and head downstairs, picking through completely smashed people from MDC on our way out (lotttssss of girls passed out in wheelchairs and guys slumped onto the floor in the lobby! It must've been a blast down there!).

We ride down the strip towards the Welcome to Vegas sign to do our touristy pictures. There's a guy down there that John says is the only person he ever recommends clients pay for pictures. He gave me his card, and said that in the future if any of us are in town looking for him to take pictures, to text him and see what time he'll be hanging around down there. I'll scrounge up the number somewhere because, though it is a super corny thing to do, the pictures turned out great! He had a bunch of props and things, and it was pretty fun. Plus he emailed me all the pictures right away.

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(Sidenote: Yay! The girls have now given me the okay to post pictures that include faces! Lol it was becoming a struggle!)

So! On to Yellowtail for our fixed menu:

OMAKASE ICHI BAN With Champagne Toast

Shared for the table:
BIG EYE TUNA PIZZA Micro Shiso, Truffle Oil

TEMPURA ALASKAN KING CRAB Serrano, Sweet Ponzu

Salad Per Person:
ORGANIC FIELD GREENS
Sesame Garlic Dressing

Entrée Choice of:
BRAISED KOBE BEEF SHORT RIBS with Baby Root Vegetables (this is the one most of us went with- SO GOOD!)

SCOTTISH SALMON with Spinach, Baby Root Vegetables, Yuzu Lemon

JIDORI CHICKEN with Baby Root Vegetables, Potatoe Puree, Garlic Cream


Shared for the Table:
CHEF’S SELECTION SUSHI PLATTER (Shared for table....delicious!)

Dessert:
some kind of ice cream bites involving tapioca (VERY yummy and the perfeect size since we were all incredibly full by then!)

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The only things of note from this meal (besides how amazing everything was...and how incredibly full we all ended up) are that the Married Lady and I went to the bathroom to get rid of her bra and my undies (her bra kept peeking out and I...do not remember why I decided to toss my thong...). The bathroom attendant helps her get out of her bra, which is the funniest sight imaginable (she is about 5'9" without hte heels on...the attendant was probably 5'2"). We tip her quite generously, and then go to the penny slots to wait around before we head to Hyde!!

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The birthday girl won about 60 bucks, which we were happy about lol. Meanwhile, I won exactly 17 cents! :-)

[Tara Denise]

After hanging out for a little bit at the penny slots, our "Bachelorette Coordinator" Kelly calls my phone, and says she's gonna come meet us, I told her we're by the machines, and a little bit hard to miss (one of my very very few "bridezilla" things was to insist that no one wear an LBD on Saturday night- I just get exhausted with the sea of them). Very soon, a very cute and bubbly Asian girl comes running over to me- it's Kelly! And we were exactly as easy to find as I figured! She takes us over to Hyde, and we go in and head towards our table (Fountain Terrace...I think number 11?). And brings us some shots and our cupcakes!! Lol this of course makes me super happy, because I love dessert. It makes everyone else groan a bit because they are so full, but they suck it up and have the cupcakes anyway, and they are delicious.

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Hyde was quite an experience. I loved the size of it, liked the music, LOVED having the fresh air on the terrace, and overall had a really good time. Our security guy was super nice, our waitress was really hot (this should probably be a given anywhere in Las Vegas), and we were very well taken care of. The performers were a little bit of a WTF sometimes, but what the hell- I love having a bit of that "only in Vegas" going on. Plus The Actress was REALLY happy because she actually likes EDM (who knew?!) and there was a little bit mixed in that night. We even waded out onto the dance floor a few times. Love that space, and I'd love to check it out when I've got a little bit less "I've been drinking since 11 AM" going on. We did have some slight kerfluffles, that were swiftly handled....

- the Model is sitting on the couch, texting her girlfriend a picture....literally everyone else is up and dancing....so of course, some random guy sees this and decides SHE is the one to approach. "Heyyyyy I wanna sit with YOU. I wanna drink with YOU. I'm gonna stay here at this table, ok?" After multiple "no, please leave"s, I turn to signal our security, but by the time I turn my head back- the Cowgirl has tapped into her inner Wonder Woman and physically removed this guy all on her own. I'm pretty sure her got some air. Of course, now he's all offended "well that wasn't nice." Um...it wasn't supposed to be?

- at some point, a total dump truck of a girl stumbles over towards us, and puts her drink down on our table. O_o We tell her she has to move that, lest it get spilled. She argues that her drink is too strong and she doesn't want it, so we should make her a new drink and take hers.....the New Yorker tells her she will water down her drink for her (pours some water in it) and now she has to go. Flash forward about an hour, and she'd brought two equally dumpy friends over to ask for/demand drinks, as they place their empty glasses on our table. Hell. No. We tell them they have got to get away from us, and the lead dump truck starts to argue. I stand up (which, as a six foot tall black chick, usually solves most problems), tell them that their inability to get a guy to buy them drinks is NOT our problem, and tell a passing waitress to get security and get them out of there, because otherwise it will not be a good scene. They are sent away with some not-so-nice words...and we get back to partying.

A couple of locals that made friends with the Cowgirl by the pool show up and hang for a bit, and yet again it is 3 in the morning and blinking no longer feels like an easy, involuntary process. So I head out....I think with the New Yorker? I have no idea who leaves and when (oops!), but I make it back to the room and crash around 3:30 or so.

Alright, I've got nametags for preschoolers that aren't gonna make themselves...my non-Vegas life is so unglamorous!

[MikeK32]

Loving the TR Tara! Sounds like a great time

[Jhaulotte]

btw - best TR picture ever
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this is why I love Vegas[/QUOTE]

+1 Great TR. Last couple TR's have been really great reads