Vance’s 40th excursion. Or, “well played Vegas, you won this round”!

[Funkycold]

It’s been about 6 months since our last Vegas excursion, and that was quiet the party. For our trip in June, our (me and Scooter) wives were happy and supportive of us. They were proud of us “finally taking a guy’s trip”. This time? There was a little bit of attitude in their demeanor! I’m sensing a bit of jealousy that we were now going to Vegas twice in a year while they haven’t gone in maybe 5-6 years? They even tried to set us on a “budget” (the nerve!). Oh well! It’s Vance’s 40th, and I wasn’t going to miss this trip. Our last trip was a total unplanned, unorganized affair and it turned out great! This time we set some loose goals, and that may have been our downfall. With no finish line, there’s no way we can lose (at least that’s my new logic!). As always; it was a fun, it was a learning experience. But we came home chewed up and spit out, licking our wounds!

[Funkycold]

Thursday night; again, Scooter wants to fly. Again, our wives make us arrive about 2 hours early. AGAIN, our flight is delayed! So we sit at the (very expensive) airport bar and get our drink on. Finally boarded around 945pm, and we swear our pilot tried to break a record flying from Fresno to Vegas! We were incoming within 20 minutes! Arrive at Excalibur by 1130, we meet up with Vance and get settled into our (adjoining) rooms and hit the 3-S’s (shit, shower, shave) because Vance tells us were on the guest-list for Hakkasan tonight! We head across, and from what I remember, the line into Hakkasan seem MUCH more organized than it was last summer. We’re in about 30 minutes, I think I climbed 14 flights of stairs, and we’re on the upper level overlooking the dance floor. YEAH!!!! WHAT?!? Its Little Johns Birthday bash! Sounds awesome right? Yeah, if you don’t have a table in this place I wouldn’t even bother. When we walked down into the lower area, we were basically herded around each walkway with no room to stop and take it all in. the place was huge, crowd was hype, but even the table crowd looked like they were stuffed into the area. We spent maybe an hour here, and then decided to head out and play our ponies at Level-Up. Right across from the Hakk entrance (in the old Rainforest café area) this is where they moved my beloved Sigma Derby slot machine. I’ve heard differing stories about drink service in here, but we had a good waitress (and tipped her well) and drinks were never a problem. It’s more a younger college vibe, with all the beer pong tables, games etc. But there was some good music bumping, a nice lounge feel, and we hit the jackpot e few times so I had no complaints. At one point, I noticed Vance trying to order another drink and he’s slurring (and maybe cross eyed) so I laugh “bro, what happened?” He’s like “I don’t drink like I used to”! For some strange reason, we decide NOT to do our usual Ellis Island 4am steak dinner (I have no idea why not), so we turn in and call it a night


Up next; day-2. Screw the rain, we gonna walk the entire strip! And Fremont street. Also, when girls invite you to Drais you rally and go to Drais

[PorkChopExpress]

LOL . . . good stuff. Keep it coming!

[Funkycold]

Working on it!

[Funkycold]

Friday; we wake up around 10ish, and hit the casino for a bit until we trek up to the ParK area for some breakfast. Bruxie’s is the BOMB for some Chicken and waffle grub!!! Also, it begins to rain like crazy and shows no sign of letting up. We don’t care; we walk north and hit each casino on the west side of the strip until we settle in Caesars Palace for a bit. Roulette whoops my ass, and the guys aren’t doing much better so we cross over to Flamingo for a bit. Gambling just isn’t going our way, so we day drink at Carnival Court, then hit Casino Royal for some dollar Michelob beers!!! I can’t find this beer anywhere in California, and grew up watching my parents drink it, so of course I indulged. We hit the Venetian canal shops, and do some gambling in Palazzo. I noticed a large amount of people walking around in camo pants, cargo shorts, and military style backpacks. Of course, the Shot Show is in town! Of course, we inexplicably didn’t attend and load up on ammo (plane flights, and Cali laws I think). End up and the WynnCore complex for a bit until we catch a shuttle to the Trump Towers. Also, we’ve been drinking continuously the entire walk, so logic began to evade us. We enter the Trump hotel (making Vegas great again?), and walk around confused until we finally ask an employee “uh sir, can you tell us where the casino is located?” So yeah, we learned there is no casino inside the Trump Resort!!!

Oh well, on to the next plan. We cab over to Fremont Street (Scooter and Vance have never been), specifically the Plaza. The rain has now stopped so Fremont is nice and popping. We gamble at Plaza and marvel at the lower minimums and MUCH BETTER drink service! Vance somehow gets entered into a drawing at 8pm, so we wander the other casinos until then. The California is a roaring good time, a band outside the Plaza is rocking the stage, and 10$ gets me a decent sized and VERY STRONG drink right outside the California!! Vance wins some $$$ with his drawing, then I take the guys to Golden Nugget to check out the shark tank and do some gambling. Vance finds a good BJ table while I and Scooter do the roulette. We find Vance, but aren’t allowed to leave because we are “good luck” (according to the drunken chicks sitting with him!) Now we are starving, and although I wanted to take the guys to Oyster Bar (inside Palace Station, I highly recommend) they pull rank and decide on Pizza Rock right near our location. If you haven’t tried it I say DO IT!!! This place is legit, and had a heavy local vibe, and they pour some good microbrews too. We made friends with the locals and enjoyed some amazing pizza. A little past midnight, we Uber back to Excalibur when Vance announces a “friend” of his “just happens” to be in town. Her and friends are currently at Drais Nightclub, and would enjoy our company if we wished to join them.

[PorkChopExpress]

Come on, don't stop there! This has the makings of an epic night . . .

[Funkycold]

Friday continued; me and Vance hop into the showers and get our club attire on, but Scooter ends up in his bed. After some ribbing and egging him on, we realize he’s NOT gonna make it out tonight so we head to the Cromwell without him. Oh well! Guest list is closed, so we head to GA Line and through the (very TSA-Like) security checkpoint. Dude confiscates my eye drops and smirks “this aint making it in” but I honestly think he’s trying to get a reaction from me. Guess I’ll have dry eyes for one night. Anyways, we head up to the club, Vance sees his “friend” waiting upstairs and they begin to act like some teenagers on Prom-Night LOL!!! The other friend rolls her eyes, says “that’s gonna get old real fast” and introduces herself by grabbing my hand and heading into the club. I’ll be honest, Drais Nightclub has never really been on my radar but I was quiet impressed when I walked in. the space was a nice luxurious décor, but not “too” nice, if that makes sense! Also, a Beautiful crystal ball thingy right above the dance floor. The warmup DJ had the place jumping, a good party vibe, and a good mix of Top-40 and EDM hits. DJ ESCO (I’ve never heard of him) hits the stage, and put on a show. I’m not sure why he’s called “DJ” ESCO, as I never once seen him touch the decks, but he sang (or sang along) lots of familiar dance and Hip-Hop hits as well as some old school classics. Oh, and some California Bay Area I grew up to like Mac Dre, Too Short, E-40 etc.!!! All-in-all, its quiet entertaining. So the night is bumpin, we dancing and grinding, and (added bonus) whenever Vance has to hit the men’s room I pull double (dancefloor) duty with the ladies! Confetti rain, Champaign showers, and TONS of silly string-like streamers all over the crowd. Now Vance has pretty much sealed the deal before we even got there, but I’m not really trying to pull mine. As the night was winding down, the “friend of the friend” starts to sway towards a dude whose been near us the whole night, and had got a few dances in. at one point he even concedes to me and says “hey bro, I’m not trying to block your game”. I noticed she was taking a liking to him more, so I responded by saying “get yours, I’m not a hater bro” and shake hands. As we leave the club, the “friend” and company head to the Flamingo, while me Vance and his arm-candy head back to Excalibur. We do some early morning gambling (guess they’re not in too bad a hurry to hit the room). They head their way, I head mine, and night two is in the books.

Up next; Irish pubs, day drinking, then some bottle-popping with ARB!!! Also, pregaming with Scooter is like hunting squirrel with a .50cal!!! And, tumbling down strip escalators is bad for your health.

[kp3205]

Outstanding TR so far. Tumbling only means it's going to reach epic proportions.

[black&yellow]

Gimme some more!

[Funkycold]

Sorry guys been super busy at work! That's also where I work on these, during my down time

[Funkycold]

Day-3; Saturday morning we wake up (almost noon-ish again) and begin our trek of the “Mandalay Mile”, starting with lunch at Ri-Ra Irish Pub. This place was COOL! Our waitress was legit Irish, with a legit Irish accent. And cute too! After some bangers and mash, washed down with some Irish Coffee(s) we headed to Mandalay for some Blackjack, and do ok for a few hours. I’ve been in the place quite a few times, but never gambled there. I was quiet impressed with how nice and welcoming the staff was, from the dealer to the drink service. We head back to Luxor and roll some dice for a while, pretty much breaking even. At this point we’ve become pretty disappointed with the drink service at Luxor, so we headed to the casino bar in Excalibur (right next to Johnny Rockets). Pop a 20 in the bar machine, and the waiter (John? Joe?) Pours us some of the stronger Jack & Cokes we’ve had all weekend. Tired from his activities the night before, Vance heads up to his room for a siesta and we agree to head to Planet Hollywood around 6ish in club attire, to catch some UFC Fights before we hit Marquee. Me and Scooter ignore his logic, and sit at that casino bar for a couple more hours winning. If staying even and catching a nice buzz is considered winning, that is! The bartender is giving us some of his Old School Vegas stories (I’m always a fan of Old Vegas), Scooter is making friends with some Belize vacationers, and soon its almost 5pm! We head upstairs, and no, not to the rooms, but to the upstairs bar right across from the “Thunder from Down Under” showroom because our bartender recommended we do! We mingle with all the bachelorette parties, groups of “WHOOOOO” girls (you know, the ones who yell whooooo in groups for no reason) and drink some more. 6pm, we stumble to the room, change into club attire, and cab to PH. Stumble to Blondies Sports bar and saddle up to the bar, and catch some fights I think. Not really sure. Vance calls us (we forgot to tell him where we were or when we went) and he meets us, and we continue to drink and make friends and people watch. ARB had been in contact with me during the whole weekend, and he texts that we should meet in front of Marquee around 1030 and settle the tab before we step inside. I respond and let him know we’re right across the street, and can’t wait to get the night going! It’s approaching 930, Scooter has crossed over from “fun drunk” to damn near belligerent, I’m trying my hardest to NOT get on his level, and we have a whole night ahead of us. Almost 10pm (I think), we settle the bill and make our SEPARATE ways across to the Cosmopolitan, yeah, really! We had got separated in the casino, street bridge, multiple piss breaks etc. I text Vance if he’s seen Scooter, Vance finds him at a bar in the Cosmo. I ask him to please feed him water! I meet Vance in front of Marquee and ask “where’s Scooter?” Vance points to the General Admission line and I see him with a group of women. He’s so happy and living it up, I just tell him to find us inside. He starts moving in with the group, fist in the air, and it’s a beautiful sight! ARB and his buddy had got delayed in the room (couldn’t find his ID) so me and Vance hang out and play “spot the canucks” with each pair of guys that walks from the hotel area. Spot him; it’s like we already knew each other (the JC Forums true power)! Chest bumps, quick intros, we settle the money and head inside. Marquee is a nice place, but all the hallways and different areas made it feel “Dark” if you weren’t near the main stage. Bottles are popped, drinks are poured, let the games begin!

Up next; Scooter calls it an early night, we think. Escalators are sharp and steep. And when under distress in Vegas, don’t EVER call or text home. Trust me on this!

[Funkycold]

Day/Night 3 continued;
ARB and his buddy are having a great time with us, and bringing some talent off the dance floor and to our area. Scooter shows up once in a great while, slams a drink, and heads back to wherever it was he was at (dance floor? Private room/ we have no idea!). Me and Vance do our best to keep him from knocking our table over. Vance’s “friend’ from the night before is now in company (of course) and she’s having a great time, as we all are. Her other friend is in the building but has pretty much locked in her companionship for the evening (I’m now getting the feeling she’s “very easy” to get along with). Ok now bear with me because this is the point where my memory becomes blurry.

Glow sticks are handed out. We’re all having a great time. I’m fist pumping like my life depends on it. Bathrooms are down dark hallways. Where’s Scooter, we can’t find him. ARB is our Canadian Bro-In-Arms! Music is on point, DJ Rukas has the place jumpin!!!

I awake in my hotel room and its 10am. Vance come in from his room and says “you guys NEED to call your wives; they’re blowing me up!” Scooter rolls over in his bed and he is BLOOD STAINED and stuck to his sheets! His back, neck, and limbs are scratched and bleeding like hell. My phone has over 70 missed calls from my wife. Oh crap, what have we done?! I have a text from Scooter at 3am that reads “bro, I just got mugged for 400$ and pushed down an escalator”. I never replied to it. I call my wife and she is absolutely going ApeShit on me! Apparently, after Scooter got no reply from me, he decided it would be a good idea to text his wife at home. She in turn contact’s my wife. I’m not sure what they planned on doing about the situation 6 hours away, but they were now very upset and worried. She calls me. I never answer or respond to her texts. Also, around 7am I DID answer her call and talk to her for a few minutes about Scooter disappearing, and then I hang up on her. I don’t answer back. This is what she told me, as I have ZERO memory of that happening! We clean up the room, and I call for a late check out as I need some dark time in bed before I return home to the inevitable shit-storm I must face!

[Funkycold]

Scooters story, to the best of his knowledge; he says he vaguely remembers entering the club, but danced a lot and met people. Then for reasons unknown to even him, he left the place. Staggered down the strip, slurring to anybody “Which way Excalibur?” and would get pointed the right way. Top of escalator, and then he’s on bottom of it and is in pain. He says he remembers someone yelling “that’s what you get, asshole” but doesn’t remember any argument. His wallet (still in his pocket) is missing $400 but has his ID and credit cards. Either the robbers are VERY SKILLED, or he lost the money elsewhere (I’m betting the latter). Someone asks if he needs an ambulance, he slurs “Excalibur?” he takes a seat next to a bum and remarks how it felt so comfortable. He then thinks to himself “this is your life now” but the he realizes he has more to live for! Powers onward to Excalibur, and heads right to the Popeye’s chicken counter!!! Hit the shower and felt a sobering pain that rivals his dirtbike crash in the desert!

Vance’s recollection; Scooter disappeared and then text him he got mugged. He texts back but no response. Vance checks with club security, who say they haven’t kicked anybody out that matches his description. Has a good time with ARB and his bud, they call it a night. He states I now have that “1000 yard stare” and am pretty much blacked out. We leave the club; he has to help me into the cab. When we step into Excalibur I yell “you’ll never take me alive!!!” and run (in the slowest, drunkest way possible” across the casino while he tries to chase me! Luckily his friend videotaped it, or I would’ve never believed him. We hit the bed, scooter is already passed out.

Anyways, it’s now Sunday morning and we are no longer the Alpha-Males of the night before; we are a bunch of sickly puppies that are licking our wounds and dreading the inevitable return home! Up next; Sunday conclusion. Playoff football, delayed flights, and dealing with our bosses at home!

[Funkycold]

Sunday Day 4; so we check our baggage, do some gambling and hit the sports book to catch the AFC/NFC Championship games. A couple of “recovery” beers and some food court sandwiches. Our flights have been delayed until 6pm (from 4pm) se we hit Dicks Resort for more beers and wings. Our mood is pretty much somber, like if our dog died! We say our goodbyes to Vance, head to the airport. Our flight is delayed until 9pm! We make the airport our home for a few more hours. Finally fly back, my wife picks us up from the airport, and the look in her eyes says WAY more than any text would!!! When I get home all my clothes were in a contractors trash bag! She figured the reason I didn’t respond to all her calls and text was because I was “fucking some whore”! I wish that was the case, at least I could explain that! To this day, that trip is still a sore subject between me and her! Well Vegas, you won this round!

[PorkChopExpress]

Oh man!!

Sorry it ended so rough, but that's a pretty epic TR!

It's also a good lesson for those who are married - if you go to Vegas without your significant other, be prepared to pay the price - even if you don't do anything wrong!!