Trip Report

[Jick]

First Trip
I became obsessed with all things Vegas a few years ago. I’d gone several years working 6-7 days a week and was eager for a break. Learning about Vegas became my hobby. I anxiously looked forward to the trip scheduled 7 months in advance. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I actually created a 40 page Vacation Guide for my then wife (now ex-wife) and the other couple that went with us.
We left around 11am. After a layover, our flight was delayed in Atlanta for several hours we arrived 1am locally, 4am from the east coast we’d left. Everyone was exhausted and wanted to go to bed, except me- telling me to wait was like waking up Christmas morning telling a 9 year old “go back to sleep and check out what Santa brought you tomorrow”- it wasn’t happening.
I didn’t even go up to the room at Aria, although I later observed that it was a nice room. I hit the tables at Aria, Planet Hollywood, Hard Rock, then Ceasers, followed by a trip toSaphire, then to the Palms and eventually back to Aria. I left with 5,000 in my pocket came back nearly blacked out with 8k and I know I spent a lot on the girls. My ex-wife says she woke up to me air-fucking the window and yelling “take that vegas.”
I’d effectively woken both rooms up by 9am and had the group drunk and wandering the strip by noon. We spent a few hours playing blackjack, dinner at a steak house in Ceasers around 8, then changed and hit club at Hard Rock- it was awful. We sold our second bottle (untouched) to the table next to us for $200 and left for a table at Marquee. As you may have imagined the night immediately got better. We stumbled in around 4am.
I woke to piss around 6am and decided leaving to go gamble would be a good idea. The day is a blur. I think I mostly gambled at Aria, but that could be completely wrong. Around 7pm the four of us were in a great Pub in the Crystals Shopping center near the entrance of Aria. I ate the greatest roast beef sandwich of my life… and then my body shut down. I literally went from talking too passed out at the table in a matter of seconds.
After a quick 3 hour nap at the room we left for Tryst by midnight. Tryst was awesome. Our table at Marquee had been outside near the back bathroom, so it didn’t give us the same feel that the Tryst main floor did.
I spent the last day playing Craps and catching an afternoon flight back. I won money saw two great clubs and enjoyed Aria. Although I know now there are several casinos I like better.

Second Trip
My second Vegas trip came a few weeks before my ex-wife and I separated. I knew that she would find out through a divorce about the 15k hidden in my savings account- and I decided better to blow it all in Vegas than give her half.
We stayed in a Vista Suite at Mandalay Bay. The vista is my favorite room of any I’ve stayed in. Plus, Mandalay Bay and MGM Grand are my favorite casinos. It was a great trip from that stand point.
The first day we saw the sharks, walked from Mandalay Bay to Wynn stopping at nearly every casino along the way. We went to Tryst again that night and all was going relatively well.
The second day was spent at the pool and after a mediocre dinner at Rick Moonan’s we headed to the Playboy Club at the Palms. For the life of me I can’t figure out why that place closed. I have never enjoyed gambling more than I did at The Playboy Club. Aria tried to match it later with Deuce Lounge, which I liked, but it wasn’t as good. I was in my element at the Playboy Club, nothing was going to ruin my evening…. but that wasn’t going to stop my soon to be ex-wife from trying. She didn’t want to gamble or drink or check out Ghost or do anything but go back to the Hotel, so after the third time she told me she was bored I handed her 5-6 green chips and told her to grab a limo and get some room service and I’d meet her at the hotel (never said this divorce wasn’t largely my fault).
After her departure I went on one of the two greatest gambling stretches on my life (once in AC I went from $1,000 down to $25, before rallying back to $1,300). At the Playboy club, playing 6:5 blackjack with shitty rules I went from holding 7,500 to 13,000. Mind you my goal was to get rid of this money-
This is where I developed a Vegas rule that I live by today- IF MONEY GOES TO VEGAS IT MUST STAY IN VEGAS. I refuse to bring money home from Las Vegas, that includes money I take or money I win. If I win I buy stuff: suits, watches, etc. If I lose, oh well I had no expectation of keeping it. This is the most liberating and relaxing policy one can have, but you have to commit to it.
So a little after midnight I headed to Tao. It was a Saturday night at Tao in the middle of summer, back when Tao was the shit. I’ve never seen a line that long for anything- there was no way my ego would allow me to wait in it. I approached the rope handed $500 to a host and told him I’d like to buy a table. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I had a party of 1 and wanted a table. They told me 5k was the cheapest table, clearly expecting me to decline. My response was, “sure think you could find some women to help me drink that many bottles” and within minutes I was at a dance floor table a few minutes later a host showed up with some nice women we danced and drank for a bit. Then a host from outside came up and told me 4 of the Arizona Cardinals cheerleaders were coming in and wanted to know if they could hang at the table. The photos from that night were all over spyonvegas.com I don’t know if they were actually professional cheerleaders, but they were hot and fun.
We stayed until nearly closing time and then 2 of the girls decided to go with me and an assistant GM to Rhinos. Rhinos would only allow one of the girls at a time in the back with me, so we took turns. One of the girls and I had hit it off and stayed in the back for ever, until between Tao and Rhino’s the 13k was gone.
She and I decided to head back to my suite. In hind sight I can’t even figure out what my drunken logic was or how I thought I’d be able to convince her to quietly hook up in the living room with my wife asleep in the bedroom… needless to say, it went south quick when she realized my plan.
I’ve been back to Vegas four times since then. A bachelor party, a trip by myself, a trip with one of my secretaries and 3 of her sorority sisters, and with some friends for a Mayweather fight- I’ll write more about those later. I may also through in stories about trips to the Niagara Falls Casino where I tried to declare war on Canada or the time 8 couple rode in a limo bus drinking for 5 hours on the way there. I also had a geat bachelor Party in Atlantic City

[Cirilo Medina]

Love this! I do have some questions; the first club at the Hard Rock, which one was it? And the girl who was in the back with you at Rhino (and came home with you) was it one of the cheerleaders? Or a stripper from Rhino. Anyways sounds like you do Vegas right!!!

[KinStock77]

haha good stuff man

[atrj]

Haha the divorce was definitely your fault. That sounds pretty amazing though.

[drew84]

Nice story! Wish I had a good run at Black Jack like you had. Very entertaining to read, bet it was a wild night to live!!

[not a vet but no rookie]

Haha the divorce was definitely your fault. That sounds pretty amazing though.

lololol


Great trip reports though

[Jick]

Love this! I do have some questions; the first club at the Hard Rock, which one was it? And the girl who was in the back with you at Rhino (and came home with you) was it one of the cheerleaders? Or a stripper from Rhino. Anyways sounds like you do Vegas right!!!

The girl was one of the girls claiming to be a cheerleader, again idk if that was true or not. The club at Hard Rock was Vanity.

[Jick]

Third Trip
My third trip was my first as a single man. It was more of a typical vegas experience. I owned one-third of a company with 2 other guys in their mid-thirties. We needed a tax write-off and our best employee had just become engaged, so a forty thousand dollar vegas trip seemed logical (FYI later found out we couldn’t write this off).

We booked 4 first class tickets and got to the airport early to drink in the delta sky club, drank more during the layover. We were a jovial bunch when we boarded in Atlanta for Vegas. 1 hour into our wait to take off we decided that we had to drink all of the vodka mini’s on the plane and enlisted the help of the rest of first class. 3 hours later, still on the ground, mission accomplished. They actually restocked the plane before took off. We had reservations at XS that we missed due to the delay. So we started texting hosts numbers we obtained from this site to come up with a new plan.

When we landed at 1:30am we dropped off our bags at Mandalay Bay. Our x2 Suite was on the 6^th floor and had the worst view of any hotel room I’ve ever had, basically just a roof, but the suite was nice on the interior. We also had a basic room down the hall. We decided that Olympic Garden was worth a try, none of us had been there before. They sent a limo to pick us up. When we walked in we were immediately greeted by 4 girls, 3 of whom were very pretty. We had 2 bottles of vodka waiting and spent about 2 hours talking to the girls and drinking before I decided to go to the back. We had agreed the company would spend $1000 at the club on the bachelor. I had the company credit card. My business partner decide to interrupt my lap dance to get the card- What I’m about to say is not believable, but it’s the truth- without requesting extra compensation the dancer decided we were going to do some extra stuff. So the blind swings open and there is my business partner and manager with her bouncing up and down and my pants around my ankles. We basically spent our way out of getting in trouble and thrown out.

Around 7am, like a scene from a movie, we stumbled out side to the blinding desert sun. We staggered to a limo. For legal reasons I will use a fake name for what happened next. “Joe” decided he wanted something more than alcohol, let’s say a candy bar is what he wanted. “Joe” then decided the best way to get “snickers” was to ask cab the cab drivers parked out side. 1^st cab said he could find “snickers” and bring to hotel, he passed. Second cab said no, 3^rd cab had snickers. 3^rd cab had clearly had too many candy bars already that night. “Joe’s” friends were screaming at him from the limo to hurry up. Joe was thinking “stop yelling and drawing attention.” The cab driver had his snickers in an altoid container and he quickly showed to joe. So joe dropped the money in his lap grabbed the altoids and ran to the limo. To our surprise the cab driver had intended to give us one snickers bar but had 8 in the altoid container and that is why he was yelling as Joe ran off, as Joe only paid for 1.The limo driver liked snickers so we decided to eat some of our snickers bar in the limo.

Back at Mandalay Bay I was meeting the girl from the club in the standard room. One guy wanted to gamble and the other two were calling it a night. Sadly, my girl text and said she was tired wanted to meet at Moorea the next day instead. So I went looking for my friend who was gambling. Instead I found a nice lady who helped me back to my room. All I’ll say is that I’ve never scrubbed harder than trying to wash her dried GREEN lipstick off, it was worse than washing off sharpie off. Around 1pm I stumbled back to the suite. The other 3, 2 of whom had slept, were headed to Moorea, I was too tired to go and wanted a nap. I felt bad that the girl actually showed and was pissed I wasn’t there, but I was tired.

We began pregaming in the room around 8pm, then played some craps at Mandalay and Aria before making it to Marquee around 11. We had a back window table in the boom-box room. I like house but normally prefer EDM, however that night, the house music was particularly great. We were all having fun when a bouncer noticed our friend, that had been awake since we left, was starting to doze off in the both. He woke up and said he was ok to get back to hotel and seemed sober, just tired, so we said ok. We ran in to a notable ESPN anchor and he joined the table for a while as did random groups of girls sporadically. The bachelor and I decided to leave but got separated and eventually decided find our own way back to the hotel.

As I was walking out the bottom door of the stair well I got a call from the previously thrown out guy, he was back inside, but seeming very drunk now. He claimed he had been told to leave again but as now lost and couldn’t find his way out- that doesn't seem plausible to me and not much of what he was saying made sense. I started giving him directions when my phone battery died. So I went to Bellegio to gamble and then by luck met up with my twice thrown out friend at the craps table at Mandalay Bay. We played for a while, he was losing a ton of money. I called it a night, the other guys were already asleep.

We all woke up around noon slightly concerned about our 4^th friend who had now been awake over 48 hours and seemed to be being missing. We were equally concerned about finding something to eat. So we went to look for him, and breakfast. We found him at the same craps table from the night before smoking what must have been his 100^th cigarette and having roughly his 80^th drink since he last slept. He looked, and smelled, like a homeless person. We made him eat at the buffet with us.

After breakfast we decided the only logical thing to do with our drunk friend was convince him to get a tattoo. He was the only one in the group without one and was previously opposed. The tattoo parlor made us buy him some Gatorade to drink before he could get the tattoo and then the funniest argument I’ve ever heard started- our drunken friend was convinced it was Saturday morning, not Sunday and went on a rant about everyone else being an idiot because we didn’t know what day it was. After the tattoo, he passed out in the room and we went to Moorea.

Moorea was my first pool party in Vegas. Vegas pool parties are great. The guys new some girls from the day before and they were hanging out with us; I should preface this by stating that my business partner is one of those guys women throw themselves at- and this was no exception. Half the entertainment was him being sexually assaulted by 4 different women all competing for his attention. We stayed until close, got some dinner and went back to the room for a “short nap” before going back out; only to sleep through the night. Oddly, sleeping through a night in Vegas is what I’m most embarrassed about in this post.

Fourth Trip
It was Thursday evening and I had no plans for the weekend, so I decide to fly to vegas solo. I booked a Friday morning flight. I wanted to try an new hotel. I’d only stayed at 2 hotels on the strip, but had physically been in all, but The Monte Carlo. Through Mlife the Monte Carlo was offering a free room so I thought why not. When I got there I’d screwed up the online booking and they were not offering me a free room and the website wouldn’t do a free reservation same day with my code. It took forever to check-in as they were now sold out. Ultimately I had to pay some money for the room. The hotel was below the standard of Aria and Mandalay Bay. I knew that going in, but I didn’t realize how much of a downgrade it would be. In sum I was in a crappy hotel that was no longer free and had waited in line for hours for this disappointment.

On the plus side I was in Vegas and the weather was great. During my first 3 trips I wired money to the cage at MGM, but this time I brought much less and just carried the cash. I was a platinum player and had basically been told to go elsewhere for 2 hours until someone finally allowed me to pay for a room; so I was annoyed with the MLife properties. I wanted avoid anything MLIF because I was annoyed with them; Drai’s had opened a few days prior so I decided to check it out. The tables had low limits which was great for my low rolling trip, the drinks came faster than any casino I’ve ever been in and best of all the people at the table were fun. I played craps for hours. I wandered over to ceasers intending on finding dinner but instead found a black jack table and more drinks. I then decided drunk dialing everyone asleep on the east coast was a good idea, before heading back to Drai’s.

Eventually I decided that I should head to a strip club. I split a limo with some guys at the table crap's to Saphire’s. I bought a skybox and bottle of champagne. The stripper was beautiful, but lacked energy. I asked her if I could switch girls which offended her and eventually I just gave up and left. Chugging champagne is never a good idea, but they wouldn't let me leave with the bottle so what choice did I have...... 20 minutes later I was at a gas station buying paper towels to clean the cab I’d vomited in. This was the night Floyd Mayweather had a disagreement with someone at a burger joint. I had no idea what the big crowd across the street was looking at, the cab driver and I hypothesized that someone was shot. I decided to call it a night and get some sleep.

The next day was uneventful. I was to hung over to I lost bad at the tables and ran out of money fast. In my haste to book I failed to notice that my return flight had 2 layovers and flew me all over the country. My 16 hour trip (normally 7-ish) was a long one back, but I slept a lot of it.

[Cirilo Medina]

3rd trip; Hell yes!!!! I always say OG's give way more for your dollar, but nobody ever listens. And sounds like your drunk friend needed to eat more snickers.

[tomm0]

Blessed lord I love this guy

hahaha

[Mjscantlin]

Great stories! You need to come to Vegas with me and my friends.

[atrj]

Third Trip
My third trip was my first as a single man. It was more of a typical vegas experience. I owned one-third of a company with 2 other guys in their mid-thirties. We needed a tax write-off and our best employee had just become engaged, so a forty thousand dollar vegas trip seemed logical (FYI later found out we couldn’t write this off).

Ever hear of checking with an accountant first to see if you can write things off? This is great though.

[tccfic]

ïf money goes to vegas, it must stay in vegas" - haha, i like it. i tried that one time, betting $300 a hand at bj as i was pretty much even for the w/e 4 hours before my flight home. very liberating but logic won out at the end. smh.

[Jick]

Fifth Trip ( I apologize in advance for the poor grammar)

My company modeled it’s office culture after that of Jordan Belfort. One night after waaaaay to much to drink I decided to take my staff to a strip club and get a lap dance from a stripper with my best looking employee. Somewhere in the middle of the lap dance her boobs came out (her boyfriend was so pissed). Long story short, I was having such a good time I agreed to fly any employee that wanted to go with me to Vegas. Not unsurprisingly, every girl with a boyfriend was told she wasn’t allowed to go. The bachelor from trip 3 was about to have his wedding and couldn’t go and my partners were kinda pissed about me getting the whole staff drunk and offering to take them to Vegas- so I only had one taker. She was 23, had just graduated from Florida State and never been to Las Vegas. I told her she should bring some of her friends and 3 of her friends agreed to go.

I don’t think they’d approve of me using their names so I will refer to my employee as number 1, her close friend that came as number 2 and her two acquaintances she told me were her friends as 3 and 4. 1 has great personality, the body of a runway model and is hilarious. She’s one of those girls who can’t get a date because guys are intimidated by her. Her first day on the job she told a co-worker “a little anorexia never hurt anyone, just walk slowly and avoid stairs”

So 1 and her three girlfriends met me at the airport for our 7am flight- wreaking of weed. I’m mid 30’s they were 22-23 and hot, so it already looked weird enough. I upgraded myself to first class to avoid sitting with them. This turned out to be a great move because Mike Tyson sat in front of me, he’s a nice guy. The guy who sat to my right woke up about half way through the cross country flight and proceeded to tell me that he got drunk the night before and went to the airport and booked his ticket, his friend in coach confirmed the story latter. They ended up meeting us at Drai’s later in the trip, which was great because we drank 6 bottles of Vodka that night and they split the bill with me.

We had Rented a two story Suite at Vdara. Despite paying extra for an early check-in the room wasn’t ready. So we drank at the hotel bar. After waiting 4 hours they told us the room couldn’t be cleaned in a day (WTF was done to that room???) and switched us two a 1 story 2 bedroom suite. 1 was getting hit on at the bar so stayed with 2 at the lobby bar while 3 and 4 went with me to gamble at Aria.

As we retuned from gambling I remembered that I’d shipped myself a Cash-Cannon and went to pick it up. To my surprise I had 2 packages. When I got to the room 4 said she had shipped the second package to me, which would have been cool except for the fact that it was a blowtorch. Nothing like finding out the girl you met a few hours ago shipped a blowtorch to a hotel in your name.

We went to Drai’s, it was the first time in a Vegas club for 1, 2 and 3. We had a great table, music was great we drank until 3am. As a thank you the girls were trying to find a wreck-o to go home with me. They half the night trying to be go-get-em-girls. It was nice gesture,…… but they were drunk and confusing. A lot of the girls thought that the girls with me were hitting on them. 1 disappeared for a long time with the hottest girl they’d brought to the both to introduce to me, when we found her we got an escalade and left. As we pulled up to the stop light 1 leans out the window from the waste up and yells, “I think I just finger banged a girl on the dance floor, smell my fingers!” and shoved her hand into the face of a guy in the car next to us. It’s one of those things that was cool because she’s hot and because she wasn’t decapitated.

3 ended up going home with some guy to his place after we got back to Vdara. She then made the walk of shame back from Ceaser’s to Vdara in he club clothes around 10am. When she got back we decided to go to breakfast, accept 1 who was too hung over. I’ve never wanted to crawl under a table more. I was showered and dressed, the girls were in yoga pants and unable to complete a sentence without using the words “fuck” or “cunt” 7 times. We were surrounded by families and even the staff was smirking as everyone in the family restaurant got the play by play from number 3- “I wanted him to use a condom, but I didn’t think I knew him well enough to ask.” Unknown to us at the time 3 and 4, who were roommates, had also been hooking up so 3’s night pissed 4.

After lunch we wandered the strip for a while. Later that day I tough 1 and 2 how to play craps at MGM and Mandalay Bay. During a previous trip at a slow craps table I was told the story of how a Mandalay Bay pit boss killed Barbaro the horse who ran for the triple crown by accidently jinxing the horse. As luck would have it when we walked up to play craps he was working, and I opened with “aren’t you the guy that killed Barbaro” He wasn’t impressed, but the crew nearly pissed themselves. That coupled with 2 hot girls gambling with me, made it one of those movie like scenes where the tale was raucous and fun. We decided to pregame for XS at a stripclub. If you’re a guy and you’ve never been picked up by a strip club with a cash cannon and 4 chicks- do it. It was lit from the minute we walked in. Girls everywhere, we bought bottles, did shots, etc. Everyone played with cash cannon…… and then at some point I blacked out. I was pissed I missed XS for the third time in 5 trips, but I woke up around 4am and we decided to go gambling instead.
The last day we spent drinking and gambling. It was fun. The most noteworthy think was that our flight was delayed for 4 hours so we left the airport and went back to SLS to gamble more. I pulled money out at an atm because I was already out of $ for the trip. We were playing blackjack. I was playing 200 a hand and the girls $10 each. Just the 5 of us at the table, we were drunk and having fun so the pitboss was talking to us a lot. Then a hand came where I split 3 times and doubled down once, $800 on the table. The girl playing third base (#3) had a 10 of spades and 10 of clubs; against the dealers 5. I’ve never heard a roar in a casino like the one I heard when she tried to split them. After a few minutes of discussion and lots of suggestions to the contrary she split them… the dealer ended up with 21 she pushed 1 hand, I lost all 4. The crew at SLS was great. Offered us a room and then gave us a bunch of Pizza when we declined.

All in all being a guy in Vegas with 4 early 20s girls sounds like a lot more fun than it is, but it’s still Vegas and a bad day in Vegas is better than a good day just about anywhere else.