One man on a quest

[ryan850]

Love the energy man! Glad you were able to switch gears and mix it up on the dance floor. It's not all about the chicks in vegas. Sometimes you gotta just flow with the energy and get the fuck down on the dance floor!

[ArmyVegas]

Great solo trip man. No quit in you!!

[LXJEDi]

{Sunday}

Usual theme, wake up in a wreck, this time it’s the double whammy of a hangover and the exertions of the night before. No two ways early Sunday was pretty bleak, knocked off what was left of the whisky as I watched ESPN on telly and random shit on the laptop in bed. Checked the itinerary probably about midday and was meant to do Drais, even had a presale, but my body was shot to shit and told me it was not happening. Got a text from MA51IV, his crew had snagged a cabana at Drais and invited me to join, again much as I tried to get my shit together my body was just worn down. Late afternoon was when I finally made a move for downstairs, hit the buffet again to pig out and get back in shape, plus glass after glass of water did me wonders. Seriously forget sometimes that simply staying hydrated in Vegas will do you a world of good, it is a bleedin desert after all. Not much else, walked the strip until close to Planet Hollywood, spotted a sports bar with draft beers overlooking the strip and was sold, downed a series of cold ones as I watched the action. Recall meeting a dude in the German World Cup team shirt, we had a hell of a fatchat, recalled footy memories and later even tried to come up with an all time best World Cup eleven and he kept trying to squeeze Thomas Mueller in there, bullshit!

Rest of day flies by, night time rolls around and I have a presale for Robin Schulz at XS nightswim. So having walked the strip all day, I figure what the heck by now it is good exercise and you get to see shit so once again make the trek. I get to the Wynn and this place is a friggin palace, talk about a hotel that oozes excess and luxury out of every pore and this is it. To my mind its actually too bloody much, I’m walking through this palace with the fancy art and exotic tapestries, and of course mild classical music as the background to a casino floor no less and I’m afraid to touch anything let alone get tempted to have a beer in the place. I meet up and chat with a cool security dude who directs me to XS, as I approach the place the relief hits me like that’s more like it, an actual party atmosphere and a bustling crowd of dudes and flaming hot ladies that looks ready to have some real fun. There’s a gaggle of (admittedly really hot) girls holding up the GA line by arguing that they must be let in without paying, again for being admittedly really hot I guess, and I laugh it off with this dude in an alternate presale line which avoids all that nonsense and gets us swiftly in.
Now, might be obvious to anyone that’s been there, but XS nightswim is a clubbing experience unlike anything else. It is such an amazingly simple concept, a mega pool party yet with the atmosphere of a night club. There is the night club element with the DJ, lights and music, yet (on this night anyway) nobody is in the club and everyone is outside in the pool and surrounds. It’s a strange mix that works, the place is packed and half the crowd is in swim gear while the rest are dressed to the nines. Also, while I admittedly had never heard of Robin Schulz, the cat is sick and keeps the joint bouncing. Pool area is completely packed so again it’s a challenge to get to the bar and get a drink, try to befriend a cute girl behind the bar to become my connect for drinks but don’t blame her it’ll never work, just too many people to get any attention fast. Don’t know if it’s this, the multiple hangovers or just my mood but I’m drained of social juices and really keep to myself for most of this night. Don’t attempt to interact much, kick it by the pool watching the insane light and fire show, and hit the dance floor occasionally which is not that busy but everyone is bumping nicely. Later I’m hunting for a lil corner of the pool to hang in but it is just flooded, pretty every spot by the periphery is either occupied, lined with towels and drinks, or in front of a bottle service section so I figure fuckit into the pool to have some fun. This is really when the night takes off and all sorts of fun shit kicks off. Best of the lot is messing with the massive inflatable pool floats. They are like magnets for drunk chicks, who all wanna straddle them and take a ride around the pool. Of course every guy in there obliges, every time there’s a new victim she hops on and then gets playfully chucked around back and forth all over the pool bumping into everything and everyone. It’s all in good fun, everyone is having a blast and I meet some good people. There’s a lily pad by the pool and this other dude is trying to entice a group of girls to leave and get in, he is making progress with the one girl but her cockblock of a friend is listing all the reasons why pool water is unsafe and dirty. So homie spots I’m solo and recruits me to run interference and basically take one for the team. So for a while I’m stuck babysitting the ice queen with shitty random stories while dude succeeds with his girl and they getting all up in each other’s business right in front of us in the pool. Brother was solid at least, he kept my drink topped up coz even though she was hot I really wasn’t feeling negative Nancy, fucking you’re in Vegas, if you can’t be arsed to get in the mood the place makes every effort to create why the fuck get on the plane? After a while I hit the floor again and by now it’s flooded. The mix is weird, there are people in suits and cocktail dresses getting down with still wet speedo and bikini clad peoples, it is by far the most unique clubbing experience I have ever had, XS night swim is a must do if you visit Vegas in summer. Between the multiple concoctions I had I don’t remember shit else but I recall catching an Uber back to my end of the universe at the MGM. Was still very lit and wandered through the casino bored as hell, decided to play some Roulette. The croupier was a pretty cool dude, cheesy jokes and a good attitude go a long way in my books, so I plumped down a few quid and had a bit of fun. I’m drunk as fuck so my initial strategy was simply red or black, and I was hitting it every time. Each time I kicked back a few chips to dude and he kept the cheese coming. We get joined by this awesome Texan chap with the coolest fucking drawl, he plastered as fuck too and keeps saying “Just do it, what the fuck, it’s Vegas”. So we have a blast with the dealer, we both getting the rhythm of the spin and start hitting numbers, we making a sweet pile and keep kicking back to our boy, its good times. So eventually the Casino overlords decide we need to lose our money or something, they unceremoniously replace our cool guy with some hard as nails headmistress looking lady who doesn’t say a word as she spins. She Asian but looks pretty American to me yet sez she can’t speak a word of English. So quick as a two pump chump we blow all our chips and that’s the end of that.

I was actually done and heading for the room admitting defeat and once again lucked into trouble. Kayleigh the Brit next door is locked out of her room, her galpal found a beau and told her to fuck off. I tell her to come hang, she is hesitant but eventually sez yeah. What swings it is that she from Milton Keynes just so happens I went through there on a work trip through the West Midlands a few years ago, so I make jokes about her being a farm girl all the way the fuck up in Vegas. She comes to my room, and as luck would have it I have an unopened bottle of cherry vodka which is her shit. She acts weird though, goes out of her way to repeatedly say she has to get going, so I start making jokes like shit this is Vegas we could go downstairs and get married if would make it more proper. That works she loosens up but still insists it ain’t happening. I respect that and back off, we chat for ages and I’m ready to pass out. She texts her gal to see if she can come through, in no uncertain terms, she even shows me the text, her roomie tells her to get lost (friends like these) so I see her starting to negotiate the situation. She tells me she will stay over, but absolutely nothing can happen. I joke like scouts honour, I would not want to get all up in her farm boy boyfriend’s property, like he most likely has branded that ass and would come after me with a pitchfork, that annoys and amuses her in equal measure. It is when she squeezes this perfect plump little rump out of her jeans and does a bunny hop into the bed that I decide the fuck if I’m not going to make a play, and it finally happens.

[LXJEDi]

{Monday}

I had actually built this day in knowing that I would need the recovery and glad that I did. Take all the time in the world getting out of bed and when I do I decide the entire point of Monday is treat yo self. It’s time to do all the touristy Vegas shit, and really all I want is food and some good shows. All I recall about this day is having an epic burger at the Gordon Ramsay joint in PH, some funny improv show and the unforgettable KA at the MGM.

{Tuesday}

Even though I check out Tuesday morning, my flight is not until late afternoon so I have time to kill. I decide that I cannot have come to Vegas without having done some proper gambling. Crappy as I am, I go with some Video Poker. With every strategy I try I keep losing, and worse yet the temptress that is the drinks lady keeps wandering by asking if I need one. Annoyed out of my mind, I decide to stick to what I know and just so happens it’s a UEFA Champions League Tuesday so I put fifty dollars down on a five way accumulator, over 2.5 goals in five chosen games just for shits. I find a sweet spot in the MGM to sit and watch all games at once on multiple screens…I’m kicking it here as the goals start flying in Bayern, Barca, Arsenal, Chelsea and Roma all come steaming in. After that fuckit I’m sold on the drinks lady and partake as in my last night I made just shy of $1000 off a loose 50. It is a beautiful way to close my epic weekend and with that I head off to McCarran.

Shit, this was harder than I thought to put together, lot of it is forgotten but an epic trip. Anyway, in case you could not make head or tail of my rambling tale I have condensed my experience in some easy to read bullet points for anyone that every goes solo. Obviously the experience may be different for you and some of this shit may or may not work for you but this is my take

• Just talk to people. All the fuel you need to give you confidence can be gained by simply talking to groups of people. In this respect the easiest people to begin a conversation with are:Bartenders, when a place is not too packed, and couples who are just as awed by Vegas and are looking to have some lighthearted fun.
• More on this. Make an attempt to be as friendly as possible. Have a chirpy comment ready for every single person you bump into regardless of whether you would actually want to hang with them. It may land or crash but just keep your spirits high and be polite. Has to be said, do not be creepy or invasive with anyone who clearly is not feeling your vibe.
• Don’t be a cheap bastard. While there are some areas you can skimp on, work out what for you are non-negotiable extras without which will kill your buzz. For me, these are a good flight and decent hotel.
• While on that note, if there is one thing to do above all else, pick a hotel as close as possible to whatever it is you intend to do the most of. If you going to spend all your time in day and night clubs at the Wynn or Ceasars, do not be an idiot like me and stay at the MGM.
• Regretted it every single time I recall this trip. At least once, do bottle service. End of.
• Plan your trip to be as long as you can stand to be alone/ keep your social energy levels high. Sooner or later you will be spent and have no peoples to get your mojo flying again.
• If all else fails, remember just have fun it’s fucking Vegas!

[pobman]

Great report - quite the gap between your previous update and now! So did you bang the girl on Sunday night? Also there's a bit of a British style to your writing - you spend a bit of time over here?

[BuckeyeFan]

GREAT Trip report..Now that's how you roll solo..

[ARB]

Awesome trip. The British neighbour late night is subject to interpretation and I like that.