March 2012 - Chitown Boys Trip

[Big35Hurt]

March 2012 Trip Summary

Group Description
Ok, I realize this took entirely too long to post this and truth be told, I wasn’t going to do a writeup, but as we plan this year’s trip, I’m remembering last year’s highlights and I’m just going to be sitting around for 3 weeks watching bowl games, so here goes……4 Guys from Chi-Town (ages 35, 39, 39, and 48) head to Sin City. Staying at the Venetian for the 1st time. Previously I’ve stayed at Paris 3x, Treasure Island 3x, Mandalay 2x, and Bellagio once. We arrive in March during the 2nd week of the NCAA Tourney and stayed Wednesday thru Monday (yes, it was about a day too long). Anyways…..let me give you a description of our group 35 yr old was white, single, tattooed, and does ok with the women, 39 yr old was a Mexican Pretty Boy, dresses to the 9’s), 39 yr old (me), white, sportsaholic, clean cut with a bit of a wild streak, and finally, the 48 yr old is 100% Italian, but looks more like the lovechild of Ron Jeremy and Gabe Kaplan (think Welcome Back Kotter Hair! LMFAO, but I’m not kidding), and he has the maturity and mentality of a 22 year old. I’m sure that by the description that I’ve given of him it wouldn’t surprise you that he’s a 2x divorcee. Oh, and did I also mention that he has an addictive personality, is generally obnoxious, funny, and is a degenerate gambler and alcoholic? (I’m sure you can see where this is going…) Also, all 4 of us make a solid buck, so we weren’t looking to do Vegas on a budget, but then again, we weren’t going to get a Penthouse Suite anyplace either. So……I guess I’ll break this thing down day by day…..

Wednesday
Fly out of Chicago on the 6:30am flight. So that put us up at about 3:30am (Hey F--k it, if you’re going, you may as well go early right?) We get to the Venetian at about 10am and check in and luckily they had our room ready for an early check in. So, we go up and unpack (of course we get lost for about 30 mins trying to navigate through that place….damn the rooms are a pretty far walk). Then we are all kinda tired since we haven’t eaten much & been up since 3:30am. So, the 35 yr old suggests we hop a cab and go to Hooters because the last time we were in Vegas for whatever reason, the wings there were better than at the Hooters in Chitown or anywhere else. So that’s what we do. I’ll post a video below of the rather interesting cab ride we had. LOLOLOLOL Of course, we get the fattest pig waitress there and the comments about how we hope this isn’t an omen for the trip start flying. We eat, the wings were nothing special this time and then we get the hell out of that dive of a hotel (How the hell does that place stay open? Ugh) As we wait for a ride we chat up 2 hook dawgs - a redhead and a black chick. If it was 5am and I was drunk and it was my last day in town, I may have considered the redhead, but that wasn’t going to happen seeing I just basically got here. We head back to the Venetian with full stomach’s, at this point, my roommate (I’m stayin with the 35 yr old dude) and I are kinda tired so we call our buddies and tell them that we are going to set the alarm for an hour and then we will call them after a quick power nap. Well…..2.5 hours later…….we get up……I text my Mexican buddy and he says they’re at the pool bar and he’s with 2 HOT chicks. So, we head down to the pool. Find my buddy talking to 2 chicks from some bumfuck town in southern Illinois. The 1 chick he’s hitting on has a decent face, but the body is below average (rating-chitown: 5/vegas:2 –I’ll be rating the women we meet throughout the write up). The other chick was redhead and way too fuckin pale (chitown:4/vegas 2). Of course I walk up and ask, “so where’s the HOT chicks? Lol The broads didn’t even catch on, my buddy’s laugh…..anyways, since I’m always a willing wing-man, I throw some cash down on the bar and order a round for all of us. I must stop at this point to give a BIG shout out to Natalie the bartender at the Venetian Pool Bar. So cool and so frickin HOT. OK, back to the story……my buddy keeps chatting up the brunette, her drunk redhead friend takes a quick liking to me. My 35 yr old buddy bolts for the pool to meet up with the old guy in our group. So….we start doing some shots, the redhead is overly digging me (Natalie rolls her eyes…lol). So, then her legs rub on mine. HOLY SHIT! You’d think that this broad could at least shave her frickin legs. Then I realize that her one hand is kinda fucked up all cracked and whatnot. I tell my buddy “dude, this ain’t fuckin happening…..lol…….Finally, I find a way to get out of there and head over to the pool area. The pool area is about 3/4 full with sunbathers. I walk around 2 full laps and I can’t find my 2 friends. Then I look up and realize that they’re the only 2 people IN the pool. Um….let’s just say that if the pool was crowded it wouldn’t really be an issue, but to be the ONLY 2 people in the pool they really weren’t wearing their guts too well…..anyways…..I sit down and start chatting up a 3some of hot chicks from Arizona (all 3 were at least chitown 8’s and Vegas 7’s). We have some drinks, hang out, and exchange numbers for a possible meetup later. Cool group of ladies. Sometime during all of this, my Mexican buddy comes over (wasted) and hangs out too. We decide to call it quits as far as the pool goes for the day when some old lady from Spain with leather skin from way too much long term sun exposure starts telling us what we should do and how we should live our lives….hey, screw you lady…… We shower & get changed and head to the casino where I teach the guys how to play Pai Gow Poker. After some gambling and (we all won a bit-I remember this because I only lost once at that table during my entire trip) we decide to think about dinner. It’s decided that we are going to check out Delmonico Steakhouse at the Venetian since the president of my company recommended that place. We get a reservation, and get ready and head there. The restaurant was nice, top notch service, but the food was just “ok”. In all honesty I expected a better meal. By this time it was decision time…to club or not to club….we chose to gamble and tone it down a bit because we were all exhausted.

Video of our weird cab ride. You can see how obnoxious the 48 yr old is just by this video....

[Big35Hurt]

Thursday
Thursday was a full day. Breakfast at the joint in the Venetian just off the casino floor. Then it was time to check out the sports book and get some action down on the Sweet 16 games. As I stated before, I’m a sportsaholic and I’ve done more than a man’s share of research on the games. Of course my buddies are all “riding me” as I lay some bets down. We make our plays and then head back out to the pool bar again. Hello Natalie! The best bartender with the best butt in Vegas was back once again. My Mexican Buddy and I start drinkin’ again while the other 2 guys head for the pool. At first we were the only 2 at this bar, but then many more people start filing in. Of course, being the social guys that we are we meet EVERYONE that decides to hang out in the bar area. We start chatting up some ladies from Arkansas. I gotta tell ya, they were fine as hell. Somewhere along the lines an older guy sits down next to me. We start talking and somehow he gets on the subject of his trip to Mardi Gras where he was at a bar where they do body painting. He said that he spent an entire afternoon sitting at the bar where ladies would come in and take their tops off and the owner of this bar would body paint them. He said the dude was charging $50 a lady and that he did over 100 in the time he was sitting there. LOL Then he even whipped out his iphone and showed up about 30 pics. What a perv! LOL Love it. Then 3 more older guys stop by and they’re about 55 or so. The one dude was clearly loaded. He was a Kansas Jayhawks fan (I know this because he had a Jayhawks hat on). He probably bought us about 5 shots. He wouldn’t let us buy anything. Anyways, we talked sports, pussy, etc with these older dudes and it was clear that I was getting TANKED. At one point I went to take a piss and my 48 year old buddy met me half way and asked “wtf happened to you? Lol” Clearly my condition was deteriorating by the minute. Anyways…..I had to shut it down for a bit. Left the bar and went to catch some rays. It was clear that nothing was going to happen with the Arkansas chicks as at this point and I couldn’t have closed if my life depended on it. The rest of the afternoon was spent chillin, watching my bets break about even, and catching some rays and chatting up some ladies at the pool. Got a few numbers for possible hookups later. We go back, make some more hoops bets and then head up to get ready for dinner. I’m leveling out by this point after about 4 bottles of water at the poolside. We had reservations for Bottle Service at Moon that night (host: Janelle Banaga), so we made reservations at the NOVE Italiano at the top of the Palms for dinner. We get there and the jagoffs from Jersey Shore are eating in the dining room with half the room off limits. So, no big deal, we decide to eat at the bar. The food was a +1. We had everything from steaks, to pasta, to fish between the 4 of us and everyone was a happy with their dish. In the booth behind us was a booth of 6 pretty hotmid-20’s ladies. I made some chit chat with them and realized what they were. I took some pictures of the group, etc…..then they left. Right after they leave, my buddy the 48 yr old Mr. Kotter lookalike asks the bartender “Hey man! Were those chicks, like, from Eastern European Playboy or something?” (LOL….seriously, this is the kind of shit that we had to put up with from this dude all weekend. It was funny, yet….well…c’mon dude!?!) Oh, and EVERY frickin time he talked to someone he would use the word “man”….how IRRITATING…..Anyways….after dinner we hit the casino at the Palms and the middle bar of the casino for a drink or 2 because we were waiting on Moon to open. Finally, we head up to the club. Janelle Banaga had us taken care of with the best table on the balcony. Great view! The clientele was a little weak that night although the club was packed. I can honestly say that every hot single lady that was in that place that night was at our table at some point. We got some numbers, yada yada, yada…..downed 3 or 4 bottles after the original B1G1 thanks to Janelle. My Mexican Pretty Boy buddy was wearing a suit that night (and we always make fun of him for being a bit too metro-sexual in the 1st place), well, I look up and this clean cut white dude was talking with him. I fuckin wish I had a picture because the dude was way too close to him having this conversation….LOL…my tattooed buddy is sitting on the couch with his jaw dropped because we really thought this fuckin white dude was gonna go in for a kiss! ROTFL Anyways…after the dude leaves, I go to bust my Mexican Buddy’s chops and ask him “WTF was that you homo!?!?!” He said, the guy approached him and asked him “are you a somebody?” My buddy said, I’m an Illinois Senator……ROTFL…. And he pointed to my 48 yr old buddy and said he’s my body guard…..ROTFL Ok….enough fuckin around with the homo-wannabe…..back to the ladies……my tattooed buddy and I hook up with 2 girls from Highland, Indiana. We end up leaving our buddies at Moon and we go back to the Venetian and party in our room. We both take care of business. In hindsight, I don’t know why after a while I didn’t suggest to trade off. I’ll definitely learn from that experience for next time though that’s for sure. What they say about Indiana Girls is true….all they wanna do is fuck which of course is definitely ok with me. Apparently the “Senator” and his Bodyguard (LOL) ended up at Drais but nothing noteworthy happened.

[Big35Hurt]

Friday
Another full day. We part ways in the morning with the Indiana chicks. Of course being from Chicago we make plans that they’ll be coming to the big city to party with us in the future (that won’t happen LOL). Notice we really didn’t do any Day Clubs this week because we wanted to bet and watch the March Madness games. So…….2nd verse, same as the first. Breakfast at the joint in the Venetian just off the casino floor (I can’t remember the places name, obviously). Then it was time to check out the sports book and get some more action down on the Sweet 16 games. Once again we make a bunch of bets and decide that we were going to gamble for a while. Blackjack, Roulette, and Pai Gow Poker. A few hours go by…….we head to the sports book to watch the games. We make a bundle as we sweep the board. Parleys, straight, everything hits. Life is good at this point. No pool today. We decide….(in our best Chris Rock Voice) what could be better than titties in our face on a Friday afternoon? So we head over to the Rhino for some adult entertainment. On the way, the 48yr old asks us if we’ve ever taken a Viagra. Of course my Mexican Buddy replies “WTF would I have taken one of those for?” He says…for a better lap dance experience…so…..well…at the time it made sense…..so all of us assholes take one of his viagra’s. We hang out there for an hour or two. Party it up, and I must admit, the lap dances are definitely better with Viagra. LOL All in all, to this point, it has been a successful day. We have won a little on the tables, we crushed at the sports book, and we’ve had titties in our face. Damn I love Vegas. Anyways…we find ourselves back at the Venetian and we have some action on the evening games. So, we are looking for somewhere to sit down and have a good meal yet be able to watch the games. We stumble across this restaurant that’s located between the Venetian and Palazzo. It’s called “Aquaknox”. The place has a nice dining area, but it also has a bar where we could watch the games. So, of course we sit at the bar. The waitresses are a +1 too and the bartender was a cool guy. We were sitting at the end of the bar where the drink orders were filled so we got kinda chummy with the waitresses. Anyways…let me tell you….the food at AQUAKNOX was fuckin fantastic! At the end of the trip, we all reminisced about the meals we had and all 4 of us thought the food at AQUAKNOX was the best we had on the whole trip. (By the way, I’ve been to N9NE and Carnevino too and I still give Aquaknox the +1 for their food. It’s a true Vegas hidden gem). After dinner, we decide to go change and get ready for a night on the town. Anyways…..we didn’t have Friday night plans but I got a text from a buddy of mine that was also in town. He said him & a buddy had reservations for BS @ Pure. So we tell him we would meet up with him. Oh…1 little funny thing that happened…as we are getting out of the hotel elevator, I look back and my older buddy whips out a comb and combs his mustache…LOL Anyways, as we are leaving the hotel, we are walking behind a group of ladies (vegas 8’s) and of course looking at their fine attributes. My Mexican Buddy then says to me “the one on the right has a FAKE ASS”. I reply “huh? Wtf is a fake ass?”. He replies “you mean you’ve never been with a bitch with a fake ass?” My reply of course is “you are one weird motherfucker! I’ve never even HEARD of a fake ass before…” Anyways, we ended up meeting up with my buddy and he had an outside table @ Pure which was really cool. I grease the security guards palm with a nice tip and we spent the night with a steady stream of beautiful ladies being brought to us. My buddy who we met up with, and my older buddy both end up leaving with ladies and go their separate ways. God, I wish I had a picture of the broad that my older buddy left with (chitown 1/vegas-2) …ROTFL…..Me, the Mexican Pretty Boy, and my tattooed buddy hold down the fort at the table deep into the night. Numbers exchange with numerous ladies, and we party it up. Great time was had. I guess the highlight of that night was that my tattooed buddy was talking to this little hottie and I overheard her say that her nipples were pierced. Of course I butt in and exclaim “liar!”…..so, in typical Vegas fashion….. she grabs my hand and shoves it up her top. Ladies and gentlemen, I can confirm that her nipples were indeed pierced. LOL We actually end up leaving with that girl and her friends (all pretty much chitown 7’s/vegas 6’s) and we end up at Planet Hollywood up in a suite with about 8 people. Lots of drugs, a number of shady characters and we were definitely out of place, so we decide to get the hell out of there. I fake receiving a call, then tell the chicks that we had to go and exchanged numbers for a possible hookup in the future. By this time it’s almost morning….so we head to Fat Burger to get some nourishment and then we walk back to the Venetian and experience all of the other drunks along the way…lol…..

[Big35Hurt]

Saturday
Once again…..we get up….go make some hoops bets. By the time we are done screwing around in the sports book it’s basically time for lunch. So we head over to Harrah’s to eat at Toby Keith’s Bar and Grill. If you’ve never eaten there you’re missing out. The food is awesome there and they give you a ton of it. The added bonus was they had the tourney games on too. Plus, the assless chaps that the hot hostess wears is a great bonus. Next, we contemplate the rest of the day……so we decide to do a little sight-seeing……anyways…..we didn’t go out to a nice dinner that night because we were all still pretty stuffed from lunch @ Toby’s joint…..we were all kind of a house divided on what the plans were going to be for the night….we go to NYNY because the older guy in our group wanted to start out at the Dueling Piano Bar, but it was so crowded and smelled like sweat we ended up just hanging out by the circle bar in the middle of the casino for a drink or two to check out the scenery. The clientele there was pretty low end and I’ll never stay at that hotel that’s for sure. We got approached by 2 disgusting hookdawgs and quickly told them that I wouldn’t even fuck them with my buddy’s dick so buzz off. I will tell you that the young lady dancing behind the blackjack dealers on the stage was absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her!!! Anyways….I don’t remember why, but next we went to Mandalay Bay. We ended up at the bar in the middle of the casino where they have a dj and dance floor. Hung out there for a while as there were actually some pretty hot groups of chicks there. Danced, chatted it up, partied…..next, I realize that my older buddy was gone again. A while later he texts me to come over to the little lounge bar by the entrance. So, we get our hand stamped and head over there. This bar is literally a small lounge that’s located right when you walk into the hotel on the left. Anyways, they had a 3 man band playing. They were fuckin awesome! They could play just about anything people requested. The crazy thing was that whenever people would walk into that hotel, this little band was so good that it just drew people into this little lounge area. I bet we stayed there for 3+ hours and had a blast! It was totally unexpected. My buddy with the tattoo’s met this chick that’s a lawyer (Chitown 7/Vegas5) and she told him that he could stay at her place if he was ever visiting San Francisco. She was dead serious and dead married (WTF!)……speaking of strange……my Mexican Buddy ends up hooking up with this lady from Venezuela that has the FAKEST ASS I have ever seen! She had more plastic in her body than Joan Rivers has in her face! 1st my buddy introduces me to the concept of a “fake ass” and then the sonofabitch actually lands a chick with one! ROTFL Oh…..this story gets a bit stranger…..at some point, my older buddy wanted to leave and me & my tattooed buddy didn’t want to leave so he took off. Then my Mexican buddy left with Plastic Woman, her friend, and her friend’s boyfriend. They went back to my Mexican Buddy’s room. I can’t remember what me and my tattooed buddy ended up doing later, but to make the long story short, we didn’t do anything memorable and we also didn’t get laid that night. Now back to the other guys…….so my Mexican Buddy is hosting a get together with his new friends. Next thing you know, the older Italian Dude tries to get in the door (they were rooming together). Well my Mexican Friend had the chain on the door. LOL So, he goes to the door and the Italian says, let me in (he had a hooker with him –vegas 3 LOL). My Mexican Buddy says, gimme a bit. So the Italian Guy comes back in like 20 mins. The Mexican doesn’t want to let him in because he thinks the Plastic woman and her friend would feel uncomfortable with a hooker there. LOL So, my Italian Buddy (now in the bathroom talking to my Mexican Friend) is furious. He’s yelling you can fuck upstairs, I can fuck downstairs, vice/verse. Repeatedly saying this over and over again. My Mexican buddy wants him to leave. They almost come to blows and both threaten to call security on each other. ROTFL unfuckinbelieveable……getting in an argument over a hooker and a Plastic Woman! WTF guys!?!?!? Anyways……at some point the Mexican’s are done and they leave. Then my Mexican buddy ends up crashing on the couch in our suite. The Italian guy takes care of business and then he crosses the line. He puts his used condom on my Mexican buddies pillow. WTF dude? Not cool at all. So, when my Mexican Buddy comes back to the room the next morning he sees it any being the type of guy that he is he’s so disgusted by it he calls the airport and moves his flight up a day and ends up flying out early on Sunday. Unreal. Why wouldn’t he just come to our room and stay there for the next day? Some people are so “reactionary”…wtf

Here's a little video clip at the end of the night at the little Lounge at Mandalay. Everyone is wasted and just having a good time. 38 second mark my buddy is dancing with the chick with the Plastic ass! LOL

Sunday
Our flight isn’t until Monday @ noon so we have 1 day left with a now awkward 3some. We spend most of the day at the sportsbook watching the games. Then the Italian guy ends up calling the same hookdawg again. He ends up taking this chick to dinner and then back to his room again. Me and my tattooed buddy end up at Lavo. It was just us 2, so we didn’t get BS. Anyways, it was pretty cool. We partied it up, yelled at some chicks, etc……nothing out of the ordinary…….then, it had to be about 3 or 4am when we had a random meet up with our Italian Buddy in the casino at the Venetian. We were all hungry, so we went to the little breakfast joint just off the casino floor. We are eating and talking about the trip in general and then I start making fun of my Italian buddy for taking a hooker on a date…LOL….we ask was she at least a good fuck? He says excellent. We continue on with the convo about her and somehow I stumble upon and ask this question “did you eat her out?” His response “ uh, well, yeah, I kinda had to” Of course me and my tattooed buddy EXPLODE with laughter. How the hell did he “kinda have to!?!?!!?” rotfl….what a sick fuck……wow……..ROTFL………

Monday
Check out, hang around and play Blackjack and Pai Gow until it’s time to head to the airport. Of course over the last 2 days there were WAAAAAAAY too many conversations about what went down on Saturday night and who’s fault it was, yada, yada, yada…..



We will be back this March again (Me, my Tattooed Buddy, the Mexican, & his cousin). The Italian guy won’t be with us. I can’t ever travel with that dude ever again…..you live and ya learn…..he was so WEIRD…..

[Jhaulotte]

Awesome T.R! "Who the fuck wants to do algebra?" is fucking classic

[RustyRyan]

Nice TR! Being from Chicago, I totally understand the (Chitown #/Vegas #) rating.

[Freshness]

That was awesome lol....the group dynamic sounds hilarious and I cant believe he ate her out haha

[Jhaulotte]

That was awesome lol....the group dynamic sounds hilarious and I cant believe he ate her out haha

That's a pretty ballsy move for a hooker hook up. I wouldnt go that direction on her myself, but to each their own. The hooker had to be like WTF is he really doing this?

[MikeK32]

Great Trip Report!!

[Big35Hurt]

Nice TR! Being from Chicago, I totally understand the (Chitown #/Vegas #) rating.

There is definitely quite a difference. LOL

[Jhaulotte]

Nice TR! Being from Chicago, I totally understand the (Chitown #/Vegas #) rating.

There is definitely quite a difference. LOL

Quite a difference in most cities

[Zigen]

Hilarious read! Thanks for sharing

[Big35Hurt]

That was awesome lol....the group dynamic sounds hilarious and I cant believe he ate her out haha

That's a pretty ballsy move for a hooker hook up. I wouldnt go that direction on her myself, but to each their own. The hooker had to be like WTF is he really doing this?

There's no way in hell that I would have ever thought that ANYONE would do that......rotfl

[Big35Hurt]

38 days until we return!!!


I can't wait!!! I'll definitely be posting another TR upon our return!!!

[Princess015690]

What is the chitown/vegas rating? how does that work?? can us women rate the men? lol