Vegas Trip 4

[DizziD]

Part 1

Background:
So I posted a few years back: http://forums.jackcolton.com/showthread.php?t=3189

I meant to add this one awhile back, but didn’t have time.

Fast forward to 2012 – I went back to school and am perpetually broke. Finishing a Bachelor’s at 27 with plans to go straight into a Master’s program produces a much different person than the 25 year old who called Vegas “Mecca” so this trip was different.

Characters - me, my friend Dani from the previous trip and Ivan - Dani's "friend".

Jan 26 – sitting on the couch somewhere on the East Coast, 2 hours from DC and preparing for Spanish/Statistics/IR exams….my phone rings, it’s Danielle. We’re still friends but more of a I talk to you once every six months for two hours kind of friend. I immediately answer because I’m afraid something is wrong.

Dani: D, I have to ask you a question
Me: okay? (in my head I’m thinking, isn’t this what texts are for?)
Dani: how do you feel about party buses in Vegas? For $80 a bus takes you to three different clubs?
Me: silence
Dani: be honest, tell me if you think that’s a good plan.
Me: well honestly no because as a girl you shouldn’t pay to get in any clubs and cabs are a $5-7 ride split 2-4 ways, so no, I would not pay that.
Dani (now screaming): SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA! I am NOT going to Las Vegas unless she comes with me!!!!!!
Me: what?!?!
Man on the phone: Danielle, calm down, ask her if she can come for the weekend and we’ll figure it out from there
Me: whaaaaat?!?!?
Dani: can you PLEASE come to Vegas next weekend? My friend (Ivan)’s friend is having a 40th birthday and I don’t know anyone but Ivan and I know they are going to do Vegas all wrong plus everyone is going to be 8-10 years older and I don’t know them and I can’t go to Las Vegas without you.
Me: uhhhh, you know I’m a BROKE college student right? I can’t ball like that anymore….
Dani: Ivan is going to pay for you. RIGHT IVAN?!?! RIGHT?!?! YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR HER RIGHT?!?!?
Ivan: I don’t know….
Me: ummm I don’t know that I should be on the phone for this
Dani: SHUT UP DANA! IVAN I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL NOT GET ANY IF SHE DOESN’T COME
Me: silence
Ivan: okay
Me:silence
Dani: YAAAAY

Within the next 36 hours a plane ticket is emailed to me in my name. I’m going to Vegas…who let the girls out, let’s get ready to rumble, oooh sometimes i get a good feelin etc

So now because I’ve been nerding out for the last 18 months I freak out morphing back into a party girl. The next 4 days are a whirlwind of hair, nails, party dresses, waxing and a legit juice diet

Tuesday before we leave I get a call from Dani asking how I’m getting to the airport. I told her I HAD to go to class but would leave University by 12, to make it to DC by 145 to make it to the airport by 3 for a 5pm flight. I don’t want to deal with my car so I’ll just take a $20 cab from my mom’s house….she asks if she can meet at my mom’s and we go to the airport together. I agree but ask why Ivan isn’t taking her? She says he has a ride…I ask if he can’t grab us too? She says “no, his wife doesn’t know about us”. I LOSE my shit. Going back to school, studying what I do, getting older, I have become almost disgustingly straight edge. You mean we’re going to LAS VEGAS with a MARRIED MAN whom you’ve implied you will sleep with for my plane ticket?!?! This by the way is OBVIOUOS forshadowing

Day/Night 1:
Everyone makes it to the airport, despite Dani having a flat tire and having to cab it by herself AND leaving her $1k+ makeup/jewelry box IN the cab and having to track it down…
At the airpot, Ivan buys us a “we’re going to Vegas drink” and dinner. We fly to Milwaukee for a 30 minute layover. Sitting on the tarmac, awaiting take off, my phone buzzes, I have an email. From a well ranked, very well known school…I need to check the status of my online application. I am now SHAKING because this is the first decision back from 5 schools I applied to…4 years of complete transformation, community college, college, retired party girl…everything is riding on this email. I check my portal, CONGRATULATIONS, you have been accepted to ______ University, PhD program, FULL RIDE”. I am trying not to completely lose it on the plane but I am completely overwhelmed. Dani and Ivan are sitting 10 rows back because my flight was booked so late so I jump up to tell her and call my mother. This all goes down in less than 3 minutes before I have to turn the phone off. I am now openly crying and the poor bastard next to me has to console me…this lasts for about thirty minutes before the guys sitting across the row were like “eff crying girl, we’re gonna get you drunk cuz we’re going to Vegas and you’re going to be a doctor”.

I like to think this is where the trip went from “Going to Vegas for a friend of a friend of a friend’s birthday to celebrating ME being awesome”.

Night 1 – arriving in Vegas…at a TIMESHARE. Dani and I are pissed as hell, we are NOT staying 2 blocks off the strip bc Ivan is a cheap bastard and has “points”. We get dressed while Dani curses and I passive aggressively sulk while he is on the phone trying to explain to SOMEONE that he JUST got to Vegas and called IMMEADIATELY – guess the wife is keeping close tabs... We make it to the club his friends have a table at…Luxor. Seriously. Ivan buys us lots of drinks, eventually we dance and then Dani and I make it known that we are going to Caesar’s. I still have contacts from 2 years ago who are more than happy to help us out.

Ivan’s friends are tired and don’t want to travel…fine, see you suckers later – NOT. We go to Caesar’s, we dance and dance and drink and drink. Around 4am we make it to Denny’s and then faceplant in bed.

Day2/Night 2

We are staying off the strip in a very nice 2 bedroom timeshare…except it’s a piece of shit cuz we’re in Vegas and this is NOT how we do.

I roll over around 8am –it’s Vegas, we have drinks to drink except I feel like hell. Dani is not in our room…she comes in a little later, giggling, swearing to God she slept in the room with me…not with the married man. Whatever. So I tell her I need to eat, I’m also still pissy about this timeshare. So is she. We set off with Ivan to find food and can’t. There is NO WHERE in this “resort” to get a mimosa and some effing eggs. I go back to bed and can’t get up, Dani is pissed and continues to berate Ivan for being a cheap bastard telling him this is UNACCEPTABLE. After about 2 hours of this shit show, Ivan asks if one of us will find a cheap room on the strip and put in on our card if he gives us the cash, he can’t leave a paper trail because him and the wife are on the phone yelling every 30-45 minutes…

Now, I want to feel bad that this bastard has bought a plane ticket, dinners, drinks etc but I don’t. Neither does Dani, call a cab we’re moving to the strip…drumroll please: EXCALIBUR. Whatever, we’re on the strip.

As we check in, Ivan says he wants a roomkey, I freak out. No. You’re an effing creeper and just bc my friend is screwing you doesn’t mean I will or am even comfortable having you touch me…hand on back…creeper. So this sets off an argument. I hate arguing/debating with people. I am the youngest child in my family…I will ALWAYS get my way, just give in and make it easier. I’m only slightly joking
Ivan finally agrees, pissilily that even though he paid for the room he does NOT have the right to enter when he pleases.

We get settled, we eat, he FINALLY leaves us alone so we can have girl time. We drink at some southern rock bar for a couple of hours and catch up. This is where Dani confesses that the woman on the phone screaming at Ivan isn’t his wife…it’s his girlfriend. This dude has a WIFE, a GIRLFRIEND and a MISTRESS/Dani. The girlfriend is PISSED that he brought Dani to Vegas and is threatening to tell his wife (more foreshadowing). We keep drinking, she tells me she doesn’t like him but she really wanted to come to Vegas. I explain to her the basic principles of prostitution. We keep drinking.

[vietnamtouris]

a great trip travel report.thanks for reaffirming this notion of thinking for me.Congrats on the PhD Program Acceptance!

[MurseAnt]

Yeah this was an awesome trip report. I'm glad no one had to go visit their grandmother in Albuquerque this time around!!

[xxjpxx9]

What a great read! I went back and read your last one too! Too funny, very entertaining!

[HunterDallas]

Three things:

1. Congrats on the PhD fellowship.

2. Very few can compete with an Australian accent, Joe just should have packed up his tent and moved on!

3. Love the candor....we need more TR's like this! Like it says: We don't judge!

[KatieBug]

I died reading this! I explain I am not interestes in roofie-coladas, we exchange numbers just in case.. Favorite line of the whole thing! Also, legit juice diet. Details please?

[tillyandthewall]

I explain to her the basic principles of prostitution. We keep drinking.

I explain I am not interested in roofie-coladas, we exchange numbers just in case…

Love it.

[aria]

Loved the TR. These in particular are my favorite bits, because I identified with them beyonddddd my own comprehension:

I explain to her the basic principles of prostitution. We keep drinking.

Aussie is a hunter, in town for the hunting convention as in he takes people out to hunt big game in Africa as in he’s actually a superhero with an accent.

Wonderful little shame walk which gives me time to berate myself about personal responsibility and the like.

Congruently, I don’t care if this is Vegas, I’m still a lady until we’re actually IN your room. Remember that.

Please come with us in October or next May. Our forces must combine!

[Countessa]

Great TR and a definite congrats on your acceptance & scholarship. I love hearing about independent, smart women on the rise.

[kman90]

IROCK - I have very few pictures. 1. We just didn't take very many (maybe because last time we had six girls with six cameras....) 2. I'm super paranoid about my "image"...

I feel the same way bout pics from Vegas...
1 - it ain't a good look taking pictures

2 - some peeps just don't want evidence or anything that can be taken out of context....

It's hard enough doing a TR while concealing the names of the guilty & presumed innocent...

I tell my boys if they wanted to see...they should've packed & hit Vegas w/ me.

[joachimorjoe]

Part 2:

I head back to Dick’s, now the BAR is closed. The door guy tells me about Drai’s but I can’t go there…I’m alone, I’m drunk and I’m alone. FINE, I’ll just sit at a casino bar and drink. I walk away and notice the guy who was also standing at the door of Dick’s is following me. I finally turn around and ask him if he’s going to buy me a drink? He agrees. We sit at a casino bar and start drinking. This guy’s name is Joe and in my head I’m thinking, that’s perfect…average Joe but in a pinch…whatever, I’m in Vegas, he’ll do. So we drink for a bit and talk. He’s in town for the UFC fight, I’m in town for a blha blah blah. Eventually he tells me it’s his birthday so I tell the bartender very loudly that “it’s my boy’s birthday!!! SHOTS!!” At this point, the guy standing next to me for the last 30 minutes with his back to me, turns around. He looks at me and I look at him and he smiles and says “you know it’s my birthday too”. He has an Australian accent. Average Joe feels he’s losing ground so he orders a round of shots. I’m drinking Citron on ice because, well, it’s Vegas and the boys are now also drinking Citron on ice to “keep up”. These two get into it…Aussie is a hunter, in town for the hunting convention as in he takes people out to hunt big game in Africa as in he’s actually a superhero with an accent. Average Joe has already admitted to being an insurance claims adjuster. Not really sure when or what happened but Aussie and I decided to call it a night. Together. Bye bye Joe. Thanks for playing.

.

First off, great trip report. We can never have enough of them on this forum, especially from the women. Secondly, I was laughing pretty hard about that average joe line. My name is Joseph, but I will NEVER introduce myself as Joe to women for that very reason. I thought at first it may just be in my head, but thanks for reaffirming this notion of thinking for me. Lastly, congrats on the full ride!

I should really use Joachim more but then I have to spend about 15 min teaching drunk people how to pronounce it. Can be a tiring task even without a loud club to contend with

Mind you, this thread does prove it could be worthwile.

Nice tr btw, I can echo what everyone else says in that 1: great to hear from the ladies and 2: congrats on the scholarship ( and 3: That Ivan dude needs help)

[tombrokaw]

the guy has to pay for two girlfriends and a wife. He's gonna be tight on the budget ok.

[IRockNvegas]

I know warren is bringing like 47 dudes in a bus

[ashroid]

Men things that work/I suggest:
Don’t use the birthday line unless it really IS your birthday. And it should come up in conversation, not be announced.

Don’t invite me to your room unless we’ve sat in a public place for at least 30 minutes to an hour or you’ve bought me two drinks. Who am I kidding? This is Vegas Congruently, I don’t care if this is Vegas, I’m still a lady until we’re actually IN your room. Remember that.

Take off your wedding ring if you’re trying to get laid.

Collectively, we gambled for less than ten minutes with $40 of Ivan’s money. We aren’t gamblers.

First, Ivan's a dipsh*t.

Second, the birthday thing has actually worked (sort of).

Third, I'm curious as to how hooking up during mAyOD will be (no details needed, but did it happen?) All I remember is seeing a massive group of mAyOD'ers roll up into a club. Because it was a lot of dudes, many women get intimidated by that?

[ashroid]

damn ordinary joe got jacked by the aussie..... interceptionnnnnnnnn *al micheals voice*

This is why travelling to another country is great, especially if you're not in the same continent.