CBs and REALLYs
So this trip had been planned for about a month and a half. Spent countless hours on the forums getting contacts, bottle service set up, see if anyone else would be in town etc. Three days before we left my debit card was stolen in Cozumel Mexico so I had to use my credit card. The night before we left was an all nighter at the strip club. Found out they triple charged my card on accident and had like $400 of my card held until it cleared (didn't post). Fucking A. Oh well..LETS GO TO VEGAS!
And so it begins..
Day 1: Get in around 11:30am. Buddy's flight lands at 12:15pm. Cab it over to Excalibur and get right in to our room with a view of NYNY and the strip. Get pizza at NYNY and then get a drink at MGM. $14 for a vodka/redbull. BS. Grab some drinks and play slots at Planet Hollywood. I won maybe $20 or so. On to Bill's where I can't stop winning on this one slot machine. After about 45 minutes over to Osheas for cheaper drinks. Met some girls there and tried to set up something for later but not much came of it. Ended up getting free ride over to Posh/Crazyhorse III, slide the driver a 20 for a ride back to Osheas for $4 beers when we were ready. Got 2 dances and a hookah at the club, not a bad place at all. Actually ended up talking to one of the girls for like an hour for free. She thought I was cute for a whiteboy, I told her that her fakes were good for an Ohio boobjob. Epic.* Back to Osheas, blast some old DMX and LMFAO, then he'd back to the room.
Day 2: Wake up early. This was a trend because I could NOT sleep for anything. Maybe like 3 hours at the most. Played some slots and ate lunch at Bill's. Ended up getting daiquiris at Rockbar at the choosing of my buddy. He actually got one of those big boots and I just got the 22oz cup. Tried not to drink much because we had Cathouse that night and knew it'd be crazy. We try to nap around 3 and I can't sleep. I go down to play video poker and just chill. We ended up back at Osheas because I wanted Subway with $1 beer, my buddy wanted a burger from BK so it worked out. Back to Cathouse where I have about 2 drinks and....finally fall asleep. Wrong place..wrong time. Wasted my $200 part of the bottle service. Ended up back in my room asleep while my buddy went back to Crazyhorse III after shutting down Cathouse. Guess he struck out.
Day 3: Woke up pretty refreshed finally. My buddy was still out around 11am so I just chilled. When he woke up we grabbed lunch and walked around some more. He wanted more Rockbar daiquiries and this time got the big guitar one. Being a local and walking around with him carrying that was kinda embarrassing not gonna lie. We get back to the hotel around 3 and he wants a nap and surprise...I can't sleep. Its Sunday so I go to watch football at Osheas and have $1 Coors. End up meeting a good looking black girl there and having her buy me drinks. All's going awesome, she kisses me so I don't have to do any work here. Free drinks/shots and don't have to try to put the moves on her. Sweet.* Here begins my string of c-blocks and REALLY? moments. The girl I'm with has her friend and her friend's boyfriend with her and they start fighting because he's drunk and being a dick. She kisses me again and says their switching hotels and wants me to come with. I figure its goin down then...WRONG. We get to the Flamingo where they switched to and she says "I hope you didn't think I was bringing you here for a booty call." REALLY? I say have a good flight in the AM and see ya later. Go back to my hotel and get ready for Cathouse Round 2 via Daryll the Fucking Man. I pay for it since I felt bad about the previous night. Party gets goin...its packed and Daryll is bringing girls over left and right. Daryll grabs 5 girls, brings them to our table and has them do a dance competition with us as judges. Epic. We send them off and get a girl for each of us. I get the smoking one and my buddy gets the pretty one. My buddys girl isn't feeling hot so the girls go to the bathroom but we thought they left. More girls come over. They get mad because we "ignore" them. They refused drinks and were just sitting there. Our original 2 girls show back up so we get rid of the boring ones. Bottle and 2 hookahs later were both making out with our respective girl. My girl has on one of the shortest dresses I've seen in awhile and makes sure my hand makes its way up it. After the club we go grab food figured it'd keep her sober enough for the room. We get back and her friend says she's sick and HAS to go. My flight is the next day and I've struck out already so this sucks. I get her number and say I might just stay another day because I did well on the slots. She says she will just drop her friend off and come back to my room. Doesn't happen because friend is too sick. Fuck my life.
Day 4: Friend missed his flight but got a later one. I go down at 11, check out and chill in the casino because I have 2 hours til I have to be at the airport. I get a text from my girl from the night before for us to hang out. At this point I had said fuck it I was staying another night and skipping my flight to LAX. Texted Daryll for what was good for the night and decided on bottle service Round 3. Get back to the room and take a nap. Shower and get Chinese food in the hotel. Play some slots, some Roulette and make it back to the room around 8. Watch tv til 9 and get ready for my night, supposed to meet the 2 girls at Cathouse at 1030. This is where it becomes another REALLY? Moment. Get a text back at 11pm saying they just woke up from a nap and would be down soon. Story short, they no showed and Daryll and I toured the Luxor like 3 times to find a pair of girls to come with me. LMFAO was doing a show at Marquee and we didn't know, so we were like WTF why is it all dudes and couples?! We strike out twice on groups of 3 girls and a group of 5. We get 2 girls to be down to come in, get to the door and one of them is 20 and says "I thought you just had to be 18 to come in?!". Later girls. On the hunt again and we see the group of 5 going in general admission. This is after the dude with them asked for a military discount on bottle service that was already a hookup. We find 2 thicked black girls to come in and they don't really understand what bottle service is or why they got asked. They don't talk much til they have 2 free drinks in them. REALLY? At this point I'm just chillin enjoying the music. Daryll brings over a group of 3 who are good looking...well 2 are. But the fat girl was the one to get a dude. Weird. Bottle goes fast but its whatever. Smoke some hookah and chill to some music. 30 mins before the club closes at 2 since its kinda dead dark hair girl who is now Drunk Girl starts rubbing my leg and talking in my ear. Her friend who's a cute blonde has been the obvious C-Blocker all night. One word answers and nods while watching us guys. At this point fat girl is making of with her dude, I'm talking with Drunk Girl and Daryll is valiant and talking up C-Blocker. Shut down the club and Drunk Girl wants to play Roulette. I double up twice and so does she. C-blocker is saying they need food and bed and won't let Drunk Girl hang by me. We say bye to them and Daryll suggets poker. We do ok until I lose on a 55/999 full house after dude I should destroy turns Trip Kings. REALLY? After that we call it a night. I'm walking back to my room at Excalibur from Luxor and who do I run into? C-Blocker and Drunk Girl. I jokingly ask if they're lost because they're staying at NYNY. Drunk Girl is crying because she lost her phone and they don't know how to get back to the Roulette table we were at where she thinks she left it. I walk them back there like a Gent, get her phone, walk them back to the bridge from Excalibur to NYNY and say goodbye. This whole walk back Drunk Girl is drunk dialing some dude..I assume ex-boyfriend and C-Blocker is chatting me up and wanted to go get breakfast. I think maybe she changed her mind about being the CB but then she looks at her friend and says she's too drunk and HAS to go. Say our goodbyes and then I go back to my room.
Day 5: Wake up after 2 hours and go WTF why couldn't I sleep this whole trip except for once in the club. I C-Blocked myself that night! Go for a walk up Aria and back to get some air. Grab a 10am vodka/sprite at the Excaliburs bar and check out. And now I wrote this whole TR on my phone while waiting on my plane and drinking a big ass Stella Artois surrounded by a ton of hungover looking people. Hope you enjoy the report and get a good laugh!
And so it begins..
Day 1: Get in around 11:30am. Buddy's flight lands at 12:15pm. Cab it over to Excalibur and get right in to our room with a view of NYNY and the strip. Get pizza at NYNY and then get a drink at MGM. $14 for a vodka/redbull. BS. Grab some drinks and play slots at Planet Hollywood. I won maybe $20 or so. On to Bill's where I can't stop winning on this one slot machine. After about 45 minutes over to Osheas for cheaper drinks. Met some girls there and tried to set up something for later but not much came of it. Ended up getting free ride over to Posh/Crazyhorse III, slide the driver a 20 for a ride back to Osheas for $4 beers when we were ready. Got 2 dances and a hookah at the club, not a bad place at all. Actually ended up talking to one of the girls for like an hour for free. She thought I was cute for a whiteboy, I told her that her fakes were good for an Ohio boobjob. Epic.* Back to Osheas, blast some old DMX and LMFAO, then he'd back to the room.
Day 2: Wake up early. This was a trend because I could NOT sleep for anything. Maybe like 3 hours at the most. Played some slots and ate lunch at Bill's. Ended up getting daiquiris at Rockbar at the choosing of my buddy. He actually got one of those big boots and I just got the 22oz cup. Tried not to drink much because we had Cathouse that night and knew it'd be crazy. We try to nap around 3 and I can't sleep. I go down to play video poker and just chill. We ended up back at Osheas because I wanted Subway with $1 beer, my buddy wanted a burger from BK so it worked out. Back to Cathouse where I have about 2 drinks and....finally fall asleep. Wrong place..wrong time. Wasted my $200 part of the bottle service. Ended up back in my room asleep while my buddy went back to Crazyhorse III after shutting down Cathouse. Guess he struck out.
Day 3: Woke up pretty refreshed finally. My buddy was still out around 11am so I just chilled. When he woke up we grabbed lunch and walked around some more. He wanted more Rockbar daiquiries and this time got the big guitar one. Being a local and walking around with him carrying that was kinda embarrassing not gonna lie. We get back to the hotel around 3 and he wants a nap and surprise...I can't sleep. Its Sunday so I go to watch football at Osheas and have $1 Coors. End up meeting a good looking black girl there and having her buy me drinks. All's going awesome, she kisses me so I don't have to do any work here. Free drinks/shots and don't have to try to put the moves on her. Sweet.* Here begins my string of c-blocks and REALLY? moments. The girl I'm with has her friend and her friend's boyfriend with her and they start fighting because he's drunk and being a dick. She kisses me again and says their switching hotels and wants me to come with. I figure its goin down then...WRONG. We get to the Flamingo where they switched to and she says "I hope you didn't think I was bringing you here for a booty call." REALLY? I say have a good flight in the AM and see ya later. Go back to my hotel and get ready for Cathouse Round 2 via Daryll the Fucking Man. I pay for it since I felt bad about the previous night. Party gets goin...its packed and Daryll is bringing girls over left and right. Daryll grabs 5 girls, brings them to our table and has them do a dance competition with us as judges. Epic. We send them off and get a girl for each of us. I get the smoking one and my buddy gets the pretty one. My buddys girl isn't feeling hot so the girls go to the bathroom but we thought they left. More girls come over. They get mad because we "ignore" them. They refused drinks and were just sitting there. Our original 2 girls show back up so we get rid of the boring ones. Bottle and 2 hookahs later were both making out with our respective girl. My girl has on one of the shortest dresses I've seen in awhile and makes sure my hand makes its way up it. After the club we go grab food figured it'd keep her sober enough for the room. We get back and her friend says she's sick and HAS to go. My flight is the next day and I've struck out already so this sucks. I get her number and say I might just stay another day because I did well on the slots. She says she will just drop her friend off and come back to my room. Doesn't happen because friend is too sick. Fuck my life.
Day 4: Friend missed his flight but got a later one. I go down at 11, check out and chill in the casino because I have 2 hours til I have to be at the airport. I get a text from my girl from the night before for us to hang out. At this point I had said fuck it I was staying another night and skipping my flight to LAX. Texted Daryll for what was good for the night and decided on bottle service Round 3. Get back to the room and take a nap. Shower and get Chinese food in the hotel. Play some slots, some Roulette and make it back to the room around 8. Watch tv til 9 and get ready for my night, supposed to meet the 2 girls at Cathouse at 1030. This is where it becomes another REALLY? Moment. Get a text back at 11pm saying they just woke up from a nap and would be down soon. Story short, they no showed and Daryll and I toured the Luxor like 3 times to find a pair of girls to come with me. LMFAO was doing a show at Marquee and we didn't know, so we were like WTF why is it all dudes and couples?! We strike out twice on groups of 3 girls and a group of 5. We get 2 girls to be down to come in, get to the door and one of them is 20 and says "I thought you just had to be 18 to come in?!". Later girls. On the hunt again and we see the group of 5 going in general admission. This is after the dude with them asked for a military discount on bottle service that was already a hookup. We find 2 thicked black girls to come in and they don't really understand what bottle service is or why they got asked. They don't talk much til they have 2 free drinks in them. REALLY? At this point I'm just chillin enjoying the music. Daryll brings over a group of 3 who are good looking...well 2 are. But the fat girl was the one to get a dude. Weird. Bottle goes fast but its whatever. Smoke some hookah and chill to some music. 30 mins before the club closes at 2 since its kinda dead dark hair girl who is now Drunk Girl starts rubbing my leg and talking in my ear. Her friend who's a cute blonde has been the obvious C-Blocker all night. One word answers and nods while watching us guys. At this point fat girl is making of with her dude, I'm talking with Drunk Girl and Daryll is valiant and talking up C-Blocker. Shut down the club and Drunk Girl wants to play Roulette. I double up twice and so does she. C-blocker is saying they need food and bed and won't let Drunk Girl hang by me. We say bye to them and Daryll suggets poker. We do ok until I lose on a 55/999 full house after dude I should destroy turns Trip Kings. REALLY? After that we call it a night. I'm walking back to my room at Excalibur from Luxor and who do I run into? C-Blocker and Drunk Girl. I jokingly ask if they're lost because they're staying at NYNY. Drunk Girl is crying because she lost her phone and they don't know how to get back to the Roulette table we were at where she thinks she left it. I walk them back there like a Gent, get her phone, walk them back to the bridge from Excalibur to NYNY and say goodbye. This whole walk back Drunk Girl is drunk dialing some dude..I assume ex-boyfriend and C-Blocker is chatting me up and wanted to go get breakfast. I think maybe she changed her mind about being the CB but then she looks at her friend and says she's too drunk and HAS to go. Say our goodbyes and then I go back to my room.
Day 5: Wake up after 2 hours and go WTF why couldn't I sleep this whole trip except for once in the club. I C-Blocked myself that night! Go for a walk up Aria and back to get some air. Grab a 10am vodka/sprite at the Excaliburs bar and check out. And now I wrote this whole TR on my phone while waiting on my plane and drinking a big ass Stella Artois surrounded by a ton of hungover looking people. Hope you enjoy the report and get a good laugh!
Its a stretch finding talent at Luxor sometimes!
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