So this trip was for me and my wife only. She loves all things Vegas but hadn’t been in 3 years, whereas I’ve been probably 6 times in that span for fights and bachelor parties, so I owed her a trip and a “going all out” trip at that. This report also includes a separate mini-report I put in the strip club forum.
So we arrive Thursday afternoon, hit the CVS, and proceed to the Mandalay Bay. Have a few drinks in the room and away we go to Cosmopolitan.
Been wanting to check out the Cosmo as I want to stay there in November when I come back (those terraces look awesome). We have some drinks at the bottom of the chandelier bar, move up a level and have some more drinks. We end up having a quick dinner at Jaleo, which was great, but wife was REALLY ready to get the party started, so we head over to our old standby, the Tao Lounge.
I’m always surprised by how much fun the Tao Lounge can be, even though we make it there at least once each trip. Anyway, this trip was nothing different, and we had a great time hanging out, drinking, chatting up the waitresses and neighboring tables. The music here is always solid and the DJ that night provided an excellent soundtrack for getting started. There was a group of guys I felt bad for though. They were all together and eating, but they were eating with their bowls of whatever in their laps and looking like they were getting no joy out of it whatsoever (there’s not a ton of room to put anything you order down). They also looked pretty self conscious about it!! Tao isn’t the cheapest place to be eating either, especially with your food in your lap!! There was a group of girls (literally 4-5 feet away) just standing there waiting to be approached, but none of them went for it. I told the waitress she needed to go over to those guys and just SHOVE one of them into the middle of the girls.
After a couple hours, we were ready to move on. Not sure exactly where to go, we decided to hit up one of the dudes from this board to see what he and his friends were up to as we were going to be sharing a table with them at XS later in the weekend. They were at Haze where he had gotten a solid bottle deal so we swung over to Aria to meet up with those guys.
There was almost no line at Haze but asking for Jared’s host did get us right in with no cover, so that was nice. I thought Haze was cool. Even though there was no line there was definitely people there, pretty full from the looks of it and the dance floor was packed. We find Jared (and as stated by himself on this board, he does look like the Hoff, wife freaked out, he was easy to spot as he walked by). Had a few drinks and shots with them and wife decides she’s ready for the strip club. We’re too drunk to wait for a free limo so we end up in a for pay limo and head to CH3.
I tell her were going to CH3 because CH2 was always all our group of friends main place before it went completely downhill, but my buddies and I tried CH3 in March for a bachelor party and just had a killer time. Super fun girls in there. The driver tries to convince us to go to SR but we pass (she's been there before and its just too much "all business" in there).
We get to CH3 and sit down at a table only be told its reserved for bottle service only. We ask where can we sit and end up getting told we can get "shown to a table". Fine, cool (and of course, here's 40 bucks).
So we sit down and get approached by 2 girls, 1 a complete smoke show "Island" type, the other I can't remember because I told her I'd rather wait and have a few drinks. Wife was not interested in waiting and immediately has her girl in her lap getting dances and having a good time. Eventually, wife decides she's in love and we need to go to VIP. Greeeaaaaat.
Give the security guy the appropriate handshake and get shown into our room. I have to say, its pretty nice in those VIP rooms (hadn't been to one in March, only got the couch VIP back then, which was also nice). Waitress appears to have us select our champagne and we decide on Veuve Rose, but OF COURSE the single bottle doesn't cost enough so we have to get the magnum. Ok, fine. Not sure that was legit but wasn't sweating it either way. They ended up not having a magnum so we get two single bottles.
A guy comes back with the waitress to help her open the bottles. This I can only assume was a well timed and executed maneuvver to get a tip. Which he did. Like I said, it was well timed and executed.
We're making sure everyone who comes back there is getting some champagne since we're probably not going to drink it all.
Okay, so all business is said and done and the fun starts, and the Giant Awesomeness at CH3 starts. So, our Island girl, correctly, starts with the wife and its a great dance. They're having a great time. After about 5 minutes, I notice wife's eyes are open, but she is simply... not... there. Glazed over. Not like passing out, but GONE. I try to revive her, but nothing is working. She proceeds to tip over and pass out on the couch. I'm thinking, well, we're kicked out. So I ask, "hey, are we kicked out" to which I get an EMPHATIC "NO WAY".
So, the dance moves over to me and we're having a great time, great dance, etc. Well, after about 10 minutes our Island girl is facing away from me but blocking my view of the wife with her back, and I hear, "oh, she threw up." No panic, no disgust, just a practical "oh, she threw up". I look and she has indeed thrown up, all over herself, the couch, and the floor. So, now we're definitely getting kicked out. I ask "so, now were kicked out right?". "NO WAY! I'll just get someone in here to clean up." She goes and spreads the word and a few minutes later the waitress and a busser/runner come in with hot towels and clean the floor, the couch, and the wife. WHILE SHE IS PASSED OUT. They were like insta-housekeepers. Only they were also cleaning up a puke covered wife. She never woke up the whole time. It was, without a doubt, GIANT AWESOMENESS.
So, after they clean up my passed out, puke covered wife, collect their spectacular tips, and leave, the dance continues. Its awesome, totally fun, she was cool, had a great personality also, etc. It was just a lot of fun.
After awhile, I decide that before I start hating my life and have to go through what it takes to close a tab at a Vegas strip club (its like applying for a mortgage to you folks who have never been) in no mood to do so, I tell them to start closing me out (I also am thinking that I'm going to have to figure out how to get wife out of there, into a car, and back to the room). So, awesome Island girl gets the wheels in motions, dances a little longer, then leads me to where I have to pay and sign over the deed to my house (hahaha). After that, we go to the main floor and close out my intial tab.
We go back to the VIP room to start working on wife, and....... shes gone. Island girl checks the bathroom, she's not in there either. Uggg. Waitress or someone says they saw her go to the bathroom, but she is not... in... there. So, thinking I'm about to consider giving solid thought to total panic when... some random door opens back in the VIP area (not sure what that door was to) and she's getting walked back into the VIP area by some other lady.
Apparently she had "come to" while I was paying the bill, had no idea where she was, walked out the first door she could find and asked the first person she could find "where am I?". Once I told her this story, she hadn't even realized she threw up on herself. Our awesome friends at CH3 did such a good job cleaning her up she hadn't even noticed.
After finding each other, we finally get in a car back to the hotel. She is not to be derailed. She INSISTS on a trip to Drais... after all that.
Every dollar (and there were many many many) I tipped in CH3 last Thursday was TOTALLY earned!
So we head back to Mandalay Bay to freshen up a bit and for me to make sure she’s not going to pass out again. After awhile we’re ready to go but I’m needing a livening up so we hit the casino to gamble and get some drinks. Sit at a roulette table and wife orders us both jaegar shots and drinks. Drinks come, shots taken, another shot arrives. I don’t think we ordered that second round. Wife gets bored and starts wandering around the casino. The waitress keeps bringing shots, every time I looked down there was another shot. I think I had 4 in about an hour. About the time I wonder where wife is she comes out of the high roller area and says “I’m over here, I’m gonna hang out with them”. I think “them” is some gamblers and she’s doing her routine. She was doing her routine but it was for the dealers and the pit boss!! By her routine I mean my wife is hysterical. She likes to play “pretend”. In this case, playing pretend entailed taking out receipts and pretending to gamble them like they are money.
Evidently she was getting a good reaction because she hung out with them for about an hour. At one point, she went to the coffee shop and got them to go food. I’m not even kidding. They didn’t want her to leave when she finally did to come get me to go to Drais. I was in the bathroom when she went over to the roulette table and as I’m coming back she is sitting there with a bunch of other to go food (wanted to drop it off in room so it would be there when he came back from Drais in pain). I said something along the times of “I’m not sure I’m really up for Drais”. Her response was to get out of the chair at the roulette table and Olympic hammer-throw style throw the bag of to go food at me. Luckily her range wasn’t that good because she missed and I decided right then that indeed I WAS up for Drais.
We get a cab to Drais, it is CLOSED (at 8:30am, I was pretty surprised). Thank goodness.
So we arrive Thursday afternoon, hit the CVS, and proceed to the Mandalay Bay. Have a few drinks in the room and away we go to Cosmopolitan.
Been wanting to check out the Cosmo as I want to stay there in November when I come back (those terraces look awesome). We have some drinks at the bottom of the chandelier bar, move up a level and have some more drinks. We end up having a quick dinner at Jaleo, which was great, but wife was REALLY ready to get the party started, so we head over to our old standby, the Tao Lounge.
I’m always surprised by how much fun the Tao Lounge can be, even though we make it there at least once each trip. Anyway, this trip was nothing different, and we had a great time hanging out, drinking, chatting up the waitresses and neighboring tables. The music here is always solid and the DJ that night provided an excellent soundtrack for getting started. There was a group of guys I felt bad for though. They were all together and eating, but they were eating with their bowls of whatever in their laps and looking like they were getting no joy out of it whatsoever (there’s not a ton of room to put anything you order down). They also looked pretty self conscious about it!! Tao isn’t the cheapest place to be eating either, especially with your food in your lap!! There was a group of girls (literally 4-5 feet away) just standing there waiting to be approached, but none of them went for it. I told the waitress she needed to go over to those guys and just SHOVE one of them into the middle of the girls.
After a couple hours, we were ready to move on. Not sure exactly where to go, we decided to hit up one of the dudes from this board to see what he and his friends were up to as we were going to be sharing a table with them at XS later in the weekend. They were at Haze where he had gotten a solid bottle deal so we swung over to Aria to meet up with those guys.
There was almost no line at Haze but asking for Jared’s host did get us right in with no cover, so that was nice. I thought Haze was cool. Even though there was no line there was definitely people there, pretty full from the looks of it and the dance floor was packed. We find Jared (and as stated by himself on this board, he does look like the Hoff, wife freaked out, he was easy to spot as he walked by). Had a few drinks and shots with them and wife decides she’s ready for the strip club. We’re too drunk to wait for a free limo so we end up in a for pay limo and head to CH3.
I tell her were going to CH3 because CH2 was always all our group of friends main place before it went completely downhill, but my buddies and I tried CH3 in March for a bachelor party and just had a killer time. Super fun girls in there. The driver tries to convince us to go to SR but we pass (she's been there before and its just too much "all business" in there).
We get to CH3 and sit down at a table only be told its reserved for bottle service only. We ask where can we sit and end up getting told we can get "shown to a table". Fine, cool (and of course, here's 40 bucks).
So we sit down and get approached by 2 girls, 1 a complete smoke show "Island" type, the other I can't remember because I told her I'd rather wait and have a few drinks. Wife was not interested in waiting and immediately has her girl in her lap getting dances and having a good time. Eventually, wife decides she's in love and we need to go to VIP. Greeeaaaaat.
Give the security guy the appropriate handshake and get shown into our room. I have to say, its pretty nice in those VIP rooms (hadn't been to one in March, only got the couch VIP back then, which was also nice). Waitress appears to have us select our champagne and we decide on Veuve Rose, but OF COURSE the single bottle doesn't cost enough so we have to get the magnum. Ok, fine. Not sure that was legit but wasn't sweating it either way. They ended up not having a magnum so we get two single bottles.
A guy comes back with the waitress to help her open the bottles. This I can only assume was a well timed and executed maneuvver to get a tip. Which he did. Like I said, it was well timed and executed.
We're making sure everyone who comes back there is getting some champagne since we're probably not going to drink it all.
Okay, so all business is said and done and the fun starts, and the Giant Awesomeness at CH3 starts. So, our Island girl, correctly, starts with the wife and its a great dance. They're having a great time. After about 5 minutes, I notice wife's eyes are open, but she is simply... not... there. Glazed over. Not like passing out, but GONE. I try to revive her, but nothing is working. She proceeds to tip over and pass out on the couch. I'm thinking, well, we're kicked out. So I ask, "hey, are we kicked out" to which I get an EMPHATIC "NO WAY".
So, the dance moves over to me and we're having a great time, great dance, etc. Well, after about 10 minutes our Island girl is facing away from me but blocking my view of the wife with her back, and I hear, "oh, she threw up." No panic, no disgust, just a practical "oh, she threw up". I look and she has indeed thrown up, all over herself, the couch, and the floor. So, now we're definitely getting kicked out. I ask "so, now were kicked out right?". "NO WAY! I'll just get someone in here to clean up." She goes and spreads the word and a few minutes later the waitress and a busser/runner come in with hot towels and clean the floor, the couch, and the wife. WHILE SHE IS PASSED OUT. They were like insta-housekeepers. Only they were also cleaning up a puke covered wife. She never woke up the whole time. It was, without a doubt, GIANT AWESOMENESS.
So, after they clean up my passed out, puke covered wife, collect their spectacular tips, and leave, the dance continues. Its awesome, totally fun, she was cool, had a great personality also, etc. It was just a lot of fun.
After awhile, I decide that before I start hating my life and have to go through what it takes to close a tab at a Vegas strip club (its like applying for a mortgage to you folks who have never been) in no mood to do so, I tell them to start closing me out (I also am thinking that I'm going to have to figure out how to get wife out of there, into a car, and back to the room). So, awesome Island girl gets the wheels in motions, dances a little longer, then leads me to where I have to pay and sign over the deed to my house (hahaha). After that, we go to the main floor and close out my intial tab.
We go back to the VIP room to start working on wife, and....... shes gone. Island girl checks the bathroom, she's not in there either. Uggg. Waitress or someone says they saw her go to the bathroom, but she is not... in... there. So, thinking I'm about to consider giving solid thought to total panic when... some random door opens back in the VIP area (not sure what that door was to) and she's getting walked back into the VIP area by some other lady.
Apparently she had "come to" while I was paying the bill, had no idea where she was, walked out the first door she could find and asked the first person she could find "where am I?". Once I told her this story, she hadn't even realized she threw up on herself. Our awesome friends at CH3 did such a good job cleaning her up she hadn't even noticed.
After finding each other, we finally get in a car back to the hotel. She is not to be derailed. She INSISTS on a trip to Drais... after all that.
Every dollar (and there were many many many) I tipped in CH3 last Thursday was TOTALLY earned!
So we head back to Mandalay Bay to freshen up a bit and for me to make sure she’s not going to pass out again. After awhile we’re ready to go but I’m needing a livening up so we hit the casino to gamble and get some drinks. Sit at a roulette table and wife orders us both jaegar shots and drinks. Drinks come, shots taken, another shot arrives. I don’t think we ordered that second round. Wife gets bored and starts wandering around the casino. The waitress keeps bringing shots, every time I looked down there was another shot. I think I had 4 in about an hour. About the time I wonder where wife is she comes out of the high roller area and says “I’m over here, I’m gonna hang out with them”. I think “them” is some gamblers and she’s doing her routine. She was doing her routine but it was for the dealers and the pit boss!! By her routine I mean my wife is hysterical. She likes to play “pretend”. In this case, playing pretend entailed taking out receipts and pretending to gamble them like they are money.
Evidently she was getting a good reaction because she hung out with them for about an hour. At one point, she went to the coffee shop and got them to go food. I’m not even kidding. They didn’t want her to leave when she finally did to come get me to go to Drais. I was in the bathroom when she went over to the roulette table and as I’m coming back she is sitting there with a bunch of other to go food (wanted to drop it off in room so it would be there when he came back from Drais in pain). I said something along the times of “I’m not sure I’m really up for Drais”. Her response was to get out of the chair at the roulette table and Olympic hammer-throw style throw the bag of to go food at me. Luckily her range wasn’t that good because she missed and I decided right then that indeed I WAS up for Drais.
We get a cab to Drais, it is CLOSED (at 8:30am, I was pretty surprised). Thank goodness.
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