Despite having just conquered EDC, I've got another trip to the Mecca of house this coming weekend to celebrate the greatest holiday on the west side of the Atlantic. The birthday of AMERICA!
While in the field the last couple of weeks, I found myself with a few hours of downtime, and instead of sleeping like a sane person, I thought it would be amusing to write a no-shit 5 paragraph military style deliberate attack order. Before I get started, it's only fair I share some acronyms with yall, so you're not completely lost in this thing
IVO-In vicinity of
SALUTE-A situation report standing for Size, Activity, Location, Uniform, Time, and Equipment
EMPCOA-Enemies Most Probably Course of Action
EMDCOA-Enemies Most Dangerous Course of Action
Other then those ones, I've done my best to avoid using too much military jargon. So, read on!
Orientation
We are located IVO The Las Vegas Strip at the Palazzo Hotel and Casino. Key terrain includes Bellagio fountain to the West, Cosmo to the South, and The Venetian located directly adjacent to our position.
Enemy Situation
SALUTE Women in groups of 2-6 looking to sleep with/mooch off complete strangers IVO Tao and Lavo nightclub, wearing skanky outfits between 2200-0500, and possibly equipped with roofies, ugly friends, and biological warfare capabilities(STD's)
Enemy has limited ability to reinforce but be aware that ugly friends may attempt to cockblock if not kept occupied.
EMPCOA Feign interest in order to gain a foothold within group and consume all of our alcohol supply
EMDCOA Shady, Ugly friends will wait until end of the night when we will be in our most inebriated state, and take advantage of our weakened sense of sight, and potentially spread STD's.
Friendly Situation
Team Alpha will consist of Ricky Andis, RJ Bonaface, and Jason Chung
Adjacent friendly units consist of several JC regulars and on call members of AOD IVO Las Vegas Strip. Linkup and Reinforcement may be possible.
Mission
On order, Team Alpha will conduct Party Rocking and Raging operations at Tao and Lavo nightclubs
Execution
The enemies center of gravity is their ability to disguise their true intentions until the last minute. Their critical vulnerability is their lack of self confidence and their weakness to confident males. I intend to exploit this by setting up table positions and having a good f***ing time there and only making contact when outside the area.
Scheme of Maneuver
Will be briefed on site
Administration and Logistics
Lost Partyer Plan- Resort to cell phone communications and rally at table
Drunk Partyer Plan- Partyer will be slapped for being a dumbass and sucking at handling alcohol, then escorted to the hotel room by another. Leave no man behind
Bottle Whore Plan- We will have anti bottle whore technology on site, this should not present a problem.
Grenade Plan- Attempt to break contact. If that fails, use hand and arm signal, Team Alpha will move in, reinforce, and extract
Command and Signal
Signal Plan
Wingman Up- Hand and arm signal
Bottle Whore ID'd- Hand and arm signal
Grenade-Laser/Hand and arm signal
Shots- Hand and arm signal
I'm good- Shuffling
Brevity Codes
Shithoused Drunk- Broken Arrow!
Bottle Whores- Ptyerodactyls
And that's pretty much it... yeah, downtime in the field is REALLY flippin boring.
While in the field the last couple of weeks, I found myself with a few hours of downtime, and instead of sleeping like a sane person, I thought it would be amusing to write a no-shit 5 paragraph military style deliberate attack order. Before I get started, it's only fair I share some acronyms with yall, so you're not completely lost in this thing
IVO-In vicinity of
SALUTE-A situation report standing for Size, Activity, Location, Uniform, Time, and Equipment
EMPCOA-Enemies Most Probably Course of Action
EMDCOA-Enemies Most Dangerous Course of Action
Other then those ones, I've done my best to avoid using too much military jargon. So, read on!
Orientation
We are located IVO The Las Vegas Strip at the Palazzo Hotel and Casino. Key terrain includes Bellagio fountain to the West, Cosmo to the South, and The Venetian located directly adjacent to our position.
Enemy Situation
SALUTE Women in groups of 2-6 looking to sleep with/mooch off complete strangers IVO Tao and Lavo nightclub, wearing skanky outfits between 2200-0500, and possibly equipped with roofies, ugly friends, and biological warfare capabilities(STD's)
Enemy has limited ability to reinforce but be aware that ugly friends may attempt to cockblock if not kept occupied.
EMPCOA Feign interest in order to gain a foothold within group and consume all of our alcohol supply
EMDCOA Shady, Ugly friends will wait until end of the night when we will be in our most inebriated state, and take advantage of our weakened sense of sight, and potentially spread STD's.
Friendly Situation
Team Alpha will consist of Ricky Andis, RJ Bonaface, and Jason Chung
Adjacent friendly units consist of several JC regulars and on call members of AOD IVO Las Vegas Strip. Linkup and Reinforcement may be possible.
Mission
On order, Team Alpha will conduct Party Rocking and Raging operations at Tao and Lavo nightclubs
Execution
The enemies center of gravity is their ability to disguise their true intentions until the last minute. Their critical vulnerability is their lack of self confidence and their weakness to confident males. I intend to exploit this by setting up table positions and having a good f***ing time there and only making contact when outside the area.
Scheme of Maneuver
Will be briefed on site
Administration and Logistics
Lost Partyer Plan- Resort to cell phone communications and rally at table
Drunk Partyer Plan- Partyer will be slapped for being a dumbass and sucking at handling alcohol, then escorted to the hotel room by another. Leave no man behind
Bottle Whore Plan- We will have anti bottle whore technology on site, this should not present a problem.
Grenade Plan- Attempt to break contact. If that fails, use hand and arm signal, Team Alpha will move in, reinforce, and extract
Command and Signal
Signal Plan
Wingman Up- Hand and arm signal
Bottle Whore ID'd- Hand and arm signal
Grenade-Laser/Hand and arm signal
Shots- Hand and arm signal
I'm good- Shuffling
Brevity Codes
Shithoused Drunk- Broken Arrow!
Bottle Whores- Ptyerodactyls
And that's pretty much it... yeah, downtime in the field is REALLY flippin boring.
Thanks for letting me join in on all the fun
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