Resacón Parte Tres - Ocho Negros en San Juan

[not a vet but no rookie]

Background – 8 dudes ages 23-30 rolled out to San Juan MDW from Friday thru Monday. Stayed at the Radisson (don’t ask). (Names have been changed for obvious reasons)

Friday – Before heading to the airport some of us go have margaritas after our exam and end up having to rush to the airport. After rushing there our flight ends up being delayed about 20 minutes which would be ok if we didn’t have less than 40 minutes between connecting flights. We get off our plane in Orlando and rush towards the plane and then that one is delayed because of weather. We leave hella late and don’t get to San Juan until almost 1AM.

We grab some liquor and get checked into the hotel.



While checking in we find out about this Urban Fiesta thing that is going on all weekend. After pregaming, we decide it’s too late to try one of the events that night and end up heading out to Club Brava at El San Juan Hotel around 3/330. John and Ron decide to try the club while me, Charles, Bobby, and Ben decide to chill at the hotel bar and casino. They tell us that the club costs $20 and that as long as we get in by 4 we can stay in all night. We don’t believe them and the club ends up closing at 4 and these dudes basically paid $20 for 30 minutes of a sausage fest.

The casino at El San Juan closed at 4 so we headed over to the Ritz and played blackjack until about 6 or 7. Everyone comes out pretty good.



Instead of rolling to the club with us, Adam and Richard went to a strip club called Frenchy’s. Adam said there some really nice females in there and that he ended up paying $160 to sleep with one of them.

[not a vet but no rookie]

Continued

Saturday – We get up around 11 and decide to walk around to find some food. We find this pretty good restaurant and grub hard on some local food.



Walk over to Condado beach but not much is going on so we keep walking around and end up at La Concha hotel.



We chill at the pool and beach over there and meet some ok girls but nothing really pops off so we decide to go gamble some more.




We go to Casino del Mar and play some blackjack while watching the Champions League Final. We were having a good time but the pit boss kept telling us to keep our voices down?! All we were doing was chanting “Pay the table, pay the table” whenever the dealer busted. Instead of officially kicking us out they just decided to cut off our drinks without telling us. We went about 30 mins before we figured out what the deal was so we just bounced once the game was over.
We headed over to the Urban Fiesta beach party around 630 when it was starting to slow down. Since it was late we got in free and it was ok because there were tons of girls there but it was HOOD.



We had a decent time and the drinks were cheap but the girls were the exactly type we wanted to leave back in Atlanta. We meet plenty of girls but all of them are pretty much back up plans for the night.

We eat dinner in the hotel and then pre-game and try to figure out the plan for the night. The urban fiesta promoters are having a white party but because of the crowd and the price ($60) most of us decide not to go. We find out that Bobby knows some females from college in town and most of the group decides to go drink and chill with them at their hotel, the Conrad. We pre-game outside by the beach and end up deciding to hit up this salsa club in Old San Juan. It was cool but after having no luck with the locals because of our remedial salsa skills we figure its time to bounce. It was also pretty obvious that nothing was gonna go down with the girls that Bobby knew. We head back to El San Juan Hotel and chill in the bar/lounge area and then hit up the Ritz again. Not the same luck as the previous night.

Ben gets really pissed off after losing all of his winnings and decides to walk back to the hotel at around 4AM. He stops at a local bar on the way back and apparently hits on a local’s girlfriend and ends up getting chased by some local dudes through some neighborhood. He gets away and realizes he’s right in the middle of the projects. There are no cabs anywhere and his phone is dead so he takes off his shirt and shoes so that he can “fit in” (he can pass for Puerto Rican) and walks the rest of the way back. After getting back to the hotel he realizes he walked/ran about 4.5 miles straight through the hood.

Adam, John, and Richard had decided to try out the White Party instead of kicking it with the rest of the group but they never got in as the cover was actually 120 and not 60. And the cover for girls was 80! I think they went back to Frenchy’s but I’m not sure

[not a vet but no rookie]

Continued

Sunday - We get up and decide to hit up Old San Juan to get away from the area of our hotel and avoid the urban fiesta crowd. We cab it out there and walk around and do some minor sightseeing and figure out what we’re gonna do for food. Ben, John, and Ron end up going to some restaurant while me, Charles, and Bobby decide to hit up this local street festival. There was singing, dancing, and free food. Randomly ended up meeting the mayor of some town (not San Juan) and just chilled and enjoyed the festival.







Ran into a group of 7 real cute females and chopped it up with them and set up plans to pre-game at their hotel that night. Run into another group of 3 girls who were ok and decide to use them as a back up for the night.

We head to the Sheraton to hit the tables and we take over the blackjack table as usual. This time we have the entire table chanting “BUSTADO!” every time the dealer busts and we are just having a great time and the Sheraton is much more hospitable than the Casino del Mar. I end up blowing almost all of my winnings so I say fuck it and put my last 200 in and hit blackjack. I decide to not to push it after that and just chill and watch Charles play for a while. Ben, John, and Ron stop by the Sheraton but they don’t want to gamble so they leave and Bobby leaves with them. Me and Charles probably stay for another hour.

On the way back me and Charles run into these 2 girls right outside of our hotel. Charles goes for the much weaker one so I figure he’s either going for the path of least resistance and/or being the best wingman ever because the other chick is baaaddd. Charles ends up making out with the weak one w/in 5 minutes while I’m taking it a little bit slower with cute one. In the middle of our conversation this crazy shirtless white bum with a stick comes up to us and keeps asking us if we are African. Charles is but I’m not so I just fuck around and start speaking in Spanish and say “Soy Cubano”. The bum is starting to get annoyed so Charles just gives him a few dollars so that he leaves. The girls were on their way to dinner so we tell them to hit us up after they’re done.

We got get ready quickly and then the girls meet us downstairs and we cab it to their hotel room. We drink and smoke over there while they get ready. We decide to head to this local pub outside of San Juan which was a big mistake. First our cab driver was insane and was hitting corners and curves hard and a couple times the car seemed like it was going to tip over. We make it to the spot safely and see that they are about 8 cop cars outside and a long ass line that looks shady so we just say fuck it and have the taxi driver take us back since there are no other taxis around. I’m pretty sure we could have gotten shot/stabbed/kidnapped if we stayed.

On the way back the ride is a little bit better and in the back seat Charles is getting a handjob and the Cheesburger has her top partially off (I don’t know this at the time and the names will make sense later). Me and Kim Kim are in the row ahead of them on a much more conservative tip. Honestly I was definitely taking it too slow, I don’t know if it was because I was a little intimidated or just not drunk enough or just being an idiot. We go back to El San Juan Hotel and the round trip ended up costing us $80. We do the usual thing of chilling over there and then heading to the Ritz Carlton.

We walk in and see Ron in this bright ass red shirt and the first thing he says is “I’m bleeeeding” because he was getting murdered at the tables by himself. We gamble for a little bit but the girls don’t really want to play so we just chill at the slots and get comped drinks and food. Charles is getting pretty reckless now and for some reason calls the girl a Cheeseburger. It’s pretty damn funny but I wonder how she didn’t get offended (she was fat, not phat haha). My girl’s name is Kim and even though she’s half black and half Mexican, Charles is convinced her eyes look Asian so I say to her “Are you sure your last name isn’t Kim?”. We were pretty high/drunk at this point so all of this was very hilarious to us. The girls go to the bathroom and Charles gives me a pep talk because I was slow-playing it too much and about to blow it. He tells me that Cheeseburger has talked about fucking multiple times and that’s when I find out about the handjob in the taxi and he tells me to get my head in the game. They come back and I immediately go in for the kill and start making out with her.

We roll back to their hotel and the make-out session continues in the cab. We get up to the room and KK hops in the bed while Charles and Cheeseburger go out on the balcony. We start to get things moving in the bed while Charles is smashing the Cheeseburger out on the balcony. KK tells me that she can’t have sex with me because it’s that time of the month and in my head I’m just thinking “FUCK!” and I tell her that it doesn’t matter to me but she cares about it. Charles and Cheeseburger come back inside and resume their business in the bathroom. I say fuck it and keep trying to make things progress and we end up naked and she asks me if I have a condom and I’m jumping for joy in my head. She has like 7 or 8 tats and her tongue, nipples, and clit all pierced and she was honestly the sexiest chick I’ve ever had. I was hitting it from the back and looking outside at the view and thinking “I love my life and Charles is the fuckin wingman of the year”. In my inebriated state that felt like the best moment of my life haha.



We finish and then Charles and Cheeseburger come out (apparently they were waiting for us to finish since they had a head start) and everyone just knocks out. We say our goodbyes and leave late in the morning so that we can go back and catch our flight.

Monday – Nothing too interesting since we had an early flight but one thing of note was Charles making out with some random girl he met on the plane. No mile high club though haha

[kman90]

Great fuckin TR....finally somebody getting some...damn good story and yes Charles was right, you were bullshittin...glad you recovered and followed thru...true....Still SMH at dude running thru the hood w/o a compass!

[not a vet but no rookie]

Great fuckin TR....finally somebody getting some...damn good story and yes Charles was right, you were bullshittin...glad you recovered and followed thru...true....Still SMH at dude running thru the hood w/o a compass!

I would have regretted it forever if I had fucked that up.

And Ben thinks that because he can pass for anything and that he grew up in NY that he has a pass wherever haha

(Couldn't fit this in the actual TR b/c of the pic limit)

[BigDex14]

Nice TR.

San Juan is a good time.
Did you check out the Water Club Hotel at all?
Thats where I stayed when I went.

[VegasCherry]

haha you turned bath water into wine. mazel tov!

[not a vet but no rookie]

Nice TR.

San Juan is a good time.
Did you check out the Water Club Hotel at all?
Thats where I stayed when I went.

I think we may have passed by it but didn't go in. Honestly we had no idea what we're doing haha. If we go back probably will stay at the Conrad or Caribe Hilton.

haha you turned bath water into wine. mazel tov!

hahaha, I got a feeling...