THE STAGGERED EASTER SPECIAL - April 21 - 24

[pennylane]

sounds like you had a great time...cant wait to hear the rest

[BCEagle]

I love it when it snows in the desert!

[MissV]

This is the most brilliant trip report ever.

[BossLady]

More please...

[Staggered_UK]

OK, just getting legal clearance for the final part of the trilogy, I'm actually getting sad writing this!

[kaizen]

Honestly dude, my f5 key is about to break

[Staggered_UK]

Part Three – “Don’t put that in there!” and the ‘big’ night

We finished off our breakfast of champions and got our transportation to the Las Vegas desert chase. This basically involved driving for about an hour into the Nevada desert and getting into buggies before thrashing them around the sand-dunes for 90 minutes.

Now, I’m no lawyer, but since most of us couldn’t even read the consent form before we signed it, I’m guessing that we were over all kinds of legal driving limits.

Anyway, throwing buggies across the desert was a great way to blow the cobwebs away and we were all actually starting to feel pretty good..until I hit a wrong turning and rolled my buggy down a sand-dune. There was a fair bit of panic as I saw the rest of the group drive into the distance and realised I was stranded in the middle of nowhere. I walked around for a bit with the music from Deliverance playing in my ears as I worried that I was soon to get another airtight offer that I couldn’t refuse, or die out there without ever having experienced XS or Marquee.

Anyway, to cut a long story, just as I was starting to ask myself whether I had finally punched above my weight, the rescue arrived and the fun continued.

The rest of the afternoon involved a heated debate within the group as to whether to go to XS, Marquee or Lavo that night. Lavo would be cheaper, but we all kind of knew that XS or Marquee would be where the real action was. The mood was lightened when we looked at the phone of one of my guys and realised he had been sending dirty text messages to one of Rouge715’s group. I couldn’t believe she turned him down when she received messages such as “Come to the Hard Rock....there’s a hard rock waiting for you”.
By this stage of the trip I was starting to feel like a teacher at a special school.

But down to business. We had decided on XS and believe it or not, this night was designated to be our ‘big’ night...and by this stage I was willing to admit that I was a bit scared. We started pre-gaming in our suite with litres of vodka and JD. The only problem was that the only mixer we had was Moet, so we had to make ‘delicious’ cocktails such as ‘JD and Moet’ and ‘Vodka and water’.

Despite the pain we had put our bodies through, the guys were back on top form and the bachelor was drinking vodka-Moet out of the ice bucket when the noise we were making attracted group of girls to our room..

Imagine the splashing of an injured fish attracting a group of sharks and all of a sudden we were under attack from all angles. People were jumping off beds, firing champagne off the balcony, breaking lamps..it was getting crazy. We decided that one of the girls should give the bachelor a lapdance, but there was one problem...she was in a wheelchair.

I’m not going to go into too much detail about the next bit except it was one of the funniest and wrongest things I have seen in a while. Our vodka must have had healing properties however, since the girl wasn’t actually disabled..and her wheelchair then got stolen and hidden in the shower, with the girl shouting “Don’t put that in there!” (bet you thought that was going to be something different, shame on you )

Since it was only 10pm I had to calm my guys down a bit and remind them we actually had to get INTO a nightclub still, and they were getting a bit feral. We went downstairs and one of them offended a German family by saying something about the war, so I kicked them into a limo and we were off to XS.

Mikey T came through with a great result and had hooked us up with a host called Dimitry in advance, both these guys are absolute stars and we were in the club within 10 minutes of arriving. We had a table right on the dancefloor and quickly got stuck into destroying our $4k minimum.

Now, I’d happily put XS in the top 5 clubs I’ve been to, it’s certainly up there with the likes of Pacha in Ibiza. Loved the music and the vibe, the outdoor area, the 2 girls riding each other in the pool..and it was great to relax and sit back in our area and take it all in.

Again I’ll put my hand up and apologise to the likes of *Ho Train* that we didn’t meet up. My phone was broken and I’m so sorry that we missed the connection, it would have been awesome. We partied hard and surprisingly all my married guys were fishing for girls and bringing them to the table. I paid the bouncer some money to walk me to the toilet all night..now I know this is pretty shallow but there’s no better way to feel like David Beckham when you have your own bouncer!

It all gets a bit strange from this point – we were so up for a massive night but at the same time we were in so much pain, so there were a lot of peaks and troughs. A few inappropriate highlights:

Girl 1: “Do you like my gold necklace?”
Buddy 1:” Nice, do you want a pearl one to go with it?”

And..

Girl 2: “Which drugs did you guys take?”
Buddy 2: “All of them”

Like I said, sometimes it’s like looking after a special school...

So we hit up XS until close, to much fun and merriment. Some stuff happened that would make the ‘Cheap Ass Friend Syndrome’ thread be sick on itself, and it really pissed me off, but I won’t mention it here.

Finally, our man DONNIE came to say hello, it wasn’t his club, he wasn’t working, and it was his goddam BIRTHDAY, but he made the effort to come and party with us, and in my book that is just superb. God bless you Donnie, and I’m only sorry most of us had lost the power of speech by the time you arrived.

Back to the room at closing time (or just after), more breakfasts of champions, throw stuff in a suitcase and then get to the airport. Slightly dicey time getting through airport security but I make it and I’m asleep before the plane leaves the ground.

[Staggered_UK]

Epilogue – Leaving Las Vegas

So that’s it. Game over man, game over. The group of 12 guys got through 13 grand in 3 days, but I got my team of Vegas Virgins home and left no man behind. My personal bill over 3 days:

Money: $2.5K
Cigarettes: 200
Alcohol: Don’t even ask..I almost died.
Food: None
Sleep: 4 hours?
Weight lost: 9kg..I guess that’s about 12lb or so. The Vegas diet beats the shit out of Atkins
Rules: I broke every one of them

So now I look back..was it my best trip to Vegas yet? Without a doubt.

Would I do things differently? Probably...I feel I missed a trick with Marquee on night #3 and I kick myself about being a loser on night #2 with the strip club, but I guess half the fun is making the mistakes..

Will I return to Vegas? Tough call..I want to go back so badly, but my credit card, the distance and work commitments say otherwise. What I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone in Vegas (Donnie, Mikey T and Dimitry) and everyone on this forum who helped me. I’m no internet geek but I’ve never found such a great and giving group of people in all my life, and my trip would have been so much worse without you all, so thank you so much.

I’m leaving now.. but you won’t lose me, this isn’t goodbye, and I’m still going to look in on you from time to time to say Hi and help where I can.

But my real name is Freddie, I’m 29, I live in Manchester, UK, and I’m a Vegasholic. This is me saying thanks for the memories to the best bunch of people ever I’ve ever met on the internet in a non-sexual way, and this is me signing off.

Toodallooo....I love you all.

F x

[kaizen]

sterling work there staggered!

My favourite part is definitely paying the bouncer to walk you to the toilet. I intend to be "that guy" also

[Halfshift]

Brilliant trip report, sounds like you had a blast! How was the Hard Rock - good crowd?

[*ho_train*]

Loved every bit of your trip report!!!
No apology needed...I am sorry that we didn't get to meet up as well. Your phone may have been broken, but I was in no condition to operate and dial an international # on mine. Glad your group had an awesome trip!!! Sad that we didn't get to break any rules together.

Don't know about anyone else, but I am definitely going through Vegas withdrawals right now...I will see you soon Vegas...real soon!

[TheMuss]

Staggered you are a disgrace!!
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.........but....
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*points at Staggered* ...........you....you're good you.

Loved the TR man, and Bullshite your not coming back to Vegas, I'm meeting you there next year no doubt, I'm going to try and top that, and end up in a coma as well. Rock on.

[kman90]

fucking hilarious...i'm watching the Heat beat Boston and laughing at this damn TR part 2!

[Universal]

Awesome stuff. Thoroughly enjoyed all of it.

10 more days!

[BossLady]

Thank you! This was awesome!