Vegas 101:

[BSM]

Breeze providing this thread with an Epic Comeback! A LOT of good ones.

I'll add another - -

If attempting a Casino robbery, DO remember to use a motorcycle and keep your helmet on. But DO NOT forget to cash in those $25k Chips before the casino expires them.

Thanks

I like that Bellagio/ water fountain one I saw at the top of the thread.

Ever tried it?

Nopes - sounds fun though, right?

[BobbyLight]

Do not Gamble your last $100

[Breeze]

Breeze providing this thread with an Epic Comeback! A LOT of good ones.

I'll add another - -

If attempting a Casino robbery, DO remember to use a motorcycle and keep your helmet on. But DO NOT forget to cash in those $25k Chips before the casino expires them.

Thanks

I like that Bellagio/ water fountain one I saw at the top of the thread.

Ever tried it?

[BSM]

Breeze providing this thread with an Epic Comeback! A LOT of good ones.

I'll add another - -

If attempting a Casino robbery, DO remember to use a motorcycle and keep your helmet on. But DO NOT forget to cash in those $25k Chips before the casino expires them.

[Breeze]

In general most of the following:

- accidents

- hangovers

- walks of shame

- incidents of vomiting

- credit card overcharges

- missing clothes

- missing wallet

- missing teeth

- STD's

- bar fights

- failed kidneys

- illegitimate children

- porcelain worship

- lands wars with russia

and angry girlfriends



all of them can be attributed, traced and blamed on the following two deadly words uttered so often and so foolishly in Las Vegas.




WHAT. IF.

[Breeze]

Taxi drivers are club promoters in disguise.

I say "Ghostbar"

He says "da Crazeee hors iz betta"

I say "Ghostbar"

He says "da crazzeee hors iz betta, I hav free pazzez for your girz"

I say "Ghostbar"

he says something in reply at which point, I tell him to f%^* off, leave and hail another taxi.

[Breeze]

Actually, on the subject of bouncers, don't f%^$ with a bouncer.

Ever.

[Breeze]

Don't tip a bouncer $20 dollars and expect the red carpet to roll out.

[Breeze]

Wash your hands.

Strippers smell like talcum powder for a reason.

[Breeze]

You will not find your soulmate in Vegas.

The divorce rate is over 50% nationally.

What do you think it is in Vegas?

Fortunately, Elvis performs annulments as well.

[Breeze]

Avoid "gourmet" buffets that serve seafood and charge $10 bucks for entry.

Think...think...think.....(lightbulb)

Yep, thats why it costs $10 dollars.

[Breeze]

ATM's are satan in disguise.

[Breeze]

Don't buy club "VIP" passes from street walkers on the strip

What if they are really hot and offer to escort you for the night?

Nevermind, they are either a cop or a working girl.

[Breeze]

Never leave the club with a glass container.

Always plastic.

ALWAYS.

[Breeze]

Your server/ host does NOT want to sleep with you.

They have heard every line, every angle, every offer.

Move on......