My CanaDUH TR...enjoy :)

[WarreN]

With all the talk of Canda lately, I decided to post my TR from my myspace blog of the trip I took to Canada. Sorry the pics dont work on here, they added to the awesomeness

My random trip to CanaDUH!
Current mood: awake
Here it is, what you've ALL been waiting for, my big, super cool, ridiculously long, but written crazy fast, BLOG on my insanely random trip to Canada!

Now before I get started, let me just say: This is going to be ridiculously long because I am a detail whore, so you may decide to read it in pieces, your choice. Also this is VERY important. If you work with me at AT&T, and you are one of my myspace friends then I am TOTALLY trusting that you will not disclose any information from this blog as you will find out that I totally bs'd about what happened to me so that I could get the days off to go to Canada. I didn't lie, I just bent the truth. So anyway, on to the blog

Let me first start off by saying thank you to my friend Bowen Tam aka Drcrank, for introducing me to Canada and offering me a place to stay and entertaining me the whole damn time. He truly is one of the chillest people I know. Not to mention the fact that he looks like Bobby LEE!

Ok so here we goooo!
So here's the deal, I work at AT&T and I work a split shift which totally kicks my ass during the week because I get absolutely NO sleep. I work 9:30am - 2:30pm then I am off for 5 hours in which I TRY to sleep. Then Im back from 7:30pm - 12:30am. I drive home and I usually get there at 1:00am then I try and do laundry and talk to friends online or whatever and get to bad by 2:00am - 3:00am and then have to wake up at 7:30am to beat traffic and make it to work on time. Basically, I'm saying this because it kicks my ass sooo damn bad that I needed a vacation! Besides that, I've been wanting to go somewhere for a while now, but none of my friends have any damn money or they just don't ever want to do any damn thing crazy like me.

So there I am, its wednesday and I'm at work thinking "fuck, i want to take a cruise or something, I need a vacation." So I'm looking up cruise ships and seeing how much and stuff like that, but then I'm thinkin...wow I don't have anybody to go with...no more gf, no friends with money, basically im pretty fucked. So then I start thinking of places to go that I know people. Right away I think of Bowen in Canada. We had been talking about hanging out anyway. So I start looking for plane tickets to Calgary for next month or something, but I know its gonna snow up there soon, so I'm almost thinking that I would want to go this month, like next weekend. So I leave work after looking at cruise packages, plane tickets and all pretty much thinking that I'm realisticly not really going anywhere because I either don't have time to go somewhere because of work or I have nobody to go with.

I got off work at 12:30am like usual and got home at 1am. So I get online when I get home like I usually do. Check myspace, email, play some CSS, talk to friends etc. So there's Bowen and he and I start talking and I tell him that I need to get away from everything for a few days and take a vacation. So he says, come to Canada. So I'm thinking, haha crazy, I was totally just looking at plane tickets online for Canada. So I start looking for next weekend. This time REALLY thinking of going. So I find a couple flights and I say "ok, what are you doing next weekend" and he says "aww man, next weekend is no good, I have mid terms and stuff, why don't you just come tonight? haha". Now for most of you that know him, Bowen is a pretty funny guy, especially for an asian (so is BOBBY LEE). So I laug and say "yea, sure I'll come tonite" and then I actually think about it for a second, and thats pretty much all it really took me, ONE second. One second for a seemingly joking conversation about flying to another country in the middle of the week in the middle of the nite out of the blue to become a reality. Something that I was already for sure I was about to do. So to Bowen's suprise I reply: "ok, I'll fly out tonight". Thing is, Bowen knows my sarcasm and I'm a pretty big bullshitter, so I think he doesn't take me seriously, but he's like "ok, lets find you a flight". I tell him "I'm serious, I will buy a ticket right now and flight out to Canada, no bullshit". At this point I think he is pretty much in shock because he can now tell that I'm not bs'ing him, that I am indeed seriously going to fly out to Canada right now.

So we both start looking and here's the thing just incase you guys all forgo, Its 2:30am by now and this is the crazy part, i've NEVER flown before, except for the one time when I was like 10 and I went to Ohio, but besides that, never and I havent even really left California at all. So that makes it even more insane. So I'm looking on the website, and I'v decided that I need to find a flight that leaves the soonest so that I can be in Canada for as long as possible and make it back to work on Monday. I'm finding flights that leave at 6am, 7am and 10am. The 6am flight would have been nice, but I would have also been crazy rushed. The other HUGE thing about this whole randome out of the country trip is this, yes, you guess it....PASSPORT. I don't own a passport and I never had any reason to have one. For those of you that own one, you know that they cannot be gotten in 1 day let alone a few hours. So Bowen and I take a minute from the flight planning and start looking up what you need to get into another country if you do not own a passport. Bowen finds a site that says all I need is a drivers license and a Social security card. Birth certificate would be preffered. Problem is, I don't have my birth certificate..damn mom lost it in storage. So I start getting a little worried that my awesomely random Canada trip won't be happening. Then I think, fuck it, I have those 2 pieces of identification, I AM going to Canada. So I decide to go with a flight that doesnt have that big of a lay over. Oakland to Calgary is actually only 3 hours of flying, but with a lay-over, I could be stuck for 6+. Another problem is I also need time to pack, its 3:00am by now and it just so happens I have no clean clothes, so I tell Bowen that and he says "bring your dirty laundry, you can wash at my house". So I say fine, and I log onto the airline website purchase the ticket for the 7am flight and am packed leaving my house by 4am.

It's now 4am, in 4 hours I will have been up for 24 hours...I stop by am/pm and I buy a double rockstar. Hit the road and start driving to Oakland. With a mix of Rockstar and adrenaline because I am about to go to Canada at 4am in the morning hella random like, I somehow make it to the Oakland airport in record time...I make it there by 4:45, a whole 2 hours and 15 minutes before my flight leaves. Again, I've never flown before, so dummy me, I park in the airport parking lot. Sign says: "$22/day for parking" and I'm like "FUCK THAT!" so I look closer at the sign and I see "Lost ticket fee $33" and I'm thinking "BINGO!". So I get my ticket and I park there anyway I never fly, but I always hear about how crazy it is to get through an airport since 911. Well let me tell you, that is some BULLSHIT. I go through the counter and purchase my ticket, through security and waiting at my terminal all by 5:20am AND I actually had to wait until 5am to even get my boarding pass because Alaska airlines doesn't open until 5am. That means it only took me 20 min to buy my ticket and get through security....pretty sweet, but shitty because now I have about 90 minutes to kill.

Ok I'm gonna fast forward a bit because nothing too interesting happens on the plane...I get on, the seats are fucken crowded as hell, there's some big ugly arab sitting in front of me with his wife and this guy is the fucken biggest dick head to his wife that I have EVER seen. "Give me a pillow" "Move your arm" "Give me that magazine" "Dont put your head on my shoulder!" fucken real asshole... Had me so pissed I wanted to just reach across the seat and slap him across the mouth...but I didn't...instead I just sat behind him for the 90 minute flight to Seattle with my knees jammed right into that fucken seat! haha. He kept turning around and I just kept smiling at him like "haha fucker, you like that knee in your back?!". I eventually make it to Seattle, beautiful city might I add. The weather was perfect. I then jump on my next flight to Calgary after a 40 min lay-over. As I'm boarding my Calgary flight, its a much smaller plane, so I can see all the people getting on. For those of you that don't know, Bowen is asian. I'm pretty sure 35 out of the 40 people on the plane with me to Calgary were asian, so I was beginning to think..."damn, is Calgary all asians or what?!". One thing is, I'm pretty tall, so if they are mostly asian..im going to be a damn giant. haha. The other is, no offense to any of you, but I'm not really attracted to many asian women...so I was hoping it was just a coincidence or something.

[WarreN]

So now is where the fun starts....customs. I get off my plane and am told to have my customs card thingy that I filled out on the plane ready. Its the paper that has all the information about why you are going to the country, if you are a resident, what you're bringing, etc. So I get to the customs line and I walk up to the counter and the lady says "passport please". So I say "I don't have one". I get the biggest blank look i've ever seen on a women...probably the kind of look you get when you roll off a woman after 30 second sex....the look that says "Are you fucken kidding me?!" haha. So I say it again "yea...uhh...I dont have one, this trip was kind of last minute". She says "oookay, what DO you have?" "I have these" and I hand her my social and drivers license. She asks me a couple of quesitons and then with a look like you're so fucked she stamps my customs form and says "I'm gonna have to send you to immigration". Now I'm getting worried...so I say "am i going to be stuck here?" and she says "maybe...hopefully not". Pretty damn reassuring...have any of you seen the movie ' Terminal ' with Tom Hanks..well I have, so I'm totally like "oh fuck". So I go to immigration, at this point im feeling like a piece of shit, worried that I won't get into the country and that I just wasted a day of work and $800 on non-refundable tickets. I step up onto what appears to be like a judges desk. Its higher than me, so I have to look up at the woman. She's Canadian, and pretty sexy looking too. Reminded me of Milla Jovovich from Resident Evil. So I step up to her and the first thing she says is "passport please". So I smile and say "I dont have a passport" and she says "WHAT!? What do you mean you dont have a passport!?" So I repeat "I don't have one, I've never traveled". She seems pretty annoyed and says "What are you doing in Canada? Why have you come here? How did you even get THIS far without a passport". So I take a deep breathe and I say "I'm meeting a friend that lives here. I came to hang out with him and check out Calgary to see if it is somewhere that I could possibly live" and she says "What do you mean hang out? You came all the way to Canada to party!? How do you know this friend?". That question...one that I cringed at the 10+ times I was asked while in Canada. Well here is the answer "I know him from an online game, we're teamates." So I guess I got lucky with this girl because she seems to lighten up at that point and asks "what game? Just one or do you guys play many?" I didnt want to get into it because this was already taking forever, so I said "many, but one in particular, yea we're nerds. As for coming here to party..eh, i suppose we might do a bit of that" haha and I make her laugh. She lightens up a bit and says "ok, I need all of your friends information. We will allow you to be in Canada for the weekend, until tuesday, if you do not leave by then we will go to your friends house and arrest you". I was like wow...oohkay. Canadians mean business...they dont want people coming into their country mooching and ruining shit I suppose and I respect that. Luckily Bowen had already been text messaging me talking shit about how I was going to be cavity searched and what not, so I quickly got the info and I was out of there. All and all, not bad for not having a passport. 20 minutes to get through US security, 1 hour to get through Canadian customs and immigration.

So I'm about to leave the airport and I grab my suitcase...this is fucked up, my suitcase has been cut open with a knife...I dont know why I don't know by whom...everything looks like it is in there, so i'm like fuck it. At this point im kind of annoyed by customs and tired...really I just want to get out of the airport. I go outside and meet Bowen for the first time in person. Shorter than I expected, haha, but he IS asian. So we head to his house. The view from the plane made Calgary look VERY flat, but it wasn't that bad. We weren't too far from the city and it looked like a really nice area. The weather was beautitful...about 70 degrees F, perfect considering it had been raining in Oakland. We get back to Bowen's house, he lives in a nice quiet neighborhood...so quiet its almost scary. I didn't ever see any of his neighbors at all, not in the whole 4 days I was there...crazy. Its a nice sized house, especially for it being just him and his girlfriend Michelle. I meet Michelle as she is leaving for Regina. Another city about 7 hours drive from there. Michelle is leavin for the weekend and on her way out warns me to "look out for Bowen and make sure all the girls stay off of him" I assure her that I 'll do my best and that the only thing she should be worried about is Bowen getting alcohol poisoning from all the drinking we'll be doing. haha.

At this point we're both tired and hungry, I was going on 1 hour of sleep from the plane and Bowen on about 3 or 4 hours. We decide to go out for some food. So Bowen takes me by one of Calgary's many malls and we eat. Pretty good Burger and I have my first Canadian beer; Kokanee Gold, pronounced Koh-kan-ee. There were a LOT more to come. This was a pretty nice bar&grill, which I learned was pretty much what Calgary had, BAR & GRILLS, TWO on each damn street corner. Seriously, its insane how many bar&grills Calgary has. The waitresses were all pretty damn hot too, and I could honestly say, that I hadn't seen an ugly Canadian woman yet. They were all quite beautiful honestly...must be the bar & grills or the fresh air..I dunno. Anyway, we look at the mall a bit and then we head on home for a good 3-4 hour nap.

After our 3 hour nap...should have been 4 but I guess Bowen was excited to get started. We go down stairs to his bar...let me just say WOW. For those of you that know, Bowen has a fucken AWESOME bar and for those of you that don't....you'd be envious. So we take our first few shots and then we take a few more. Bowen as I learned is a damn good drinker, so I was pretty excited when I saw him knocking them back like a champ. He is also a mixer, and before my Calgary trip, I would NEVER have mixed alcohols like we were mixing. Sweet with sour, tequila with cognac. Lights with darks...pretty much anything and everything PLUS beer. So we get a nice buzz going before heading out to "Vintage" a bar & grill downtown...this was a pretty classy place. Filled with what appeared to be office workers and executives..white collar people. We got a table at the bar and ordered. Now for all the people from the states, in Canada, you are allowed to smoke in all the establishments, so its pretty crazy there, just a little FYI. You can basically smoke and drink EVERYWHERE in Canada. haha.

After dinner Bowen decides to take me to COWBOYS. A bar downtown that he has just remembered has "25 cent draft night" on Thursdays. Well shit...sounds damn good to me. So we walk in and let me tell you...this place was CRACKIN! HELLA people...2 floors....about 4 different bars....people wall to wall. Let me first start off by saying the drinking age in Canada is 18, that isn't a typo, 18. So this club was filled with 18 and over people...and a shitload of them at that. I'm actually pretty sure some people weren't even 18...thats how it goes though I suppose. In the US 21 is the age and you have 19 year olds sneaking in...Canada 18 is the age and you have 16 year olds sneaking in. The other thing I noticed right away about COWBOYS is everyone was pretty much white...haha. I've NEVER seen that at a bar/club. Bowen was asian and the only other asian we saw out of the whole place was a waiter. No mexicans, no blacks...white people everywhere, it was just kinda wierd to me...then again, it is called "COWBOYS". Another odd thing is there were uniformed police men hangin out...Bowen says they do that a lot, especially at strip clubs. We even saw some girls grinding on them...haha, too funny. We had a few drinks and made a couple rounds, but I think we were both still kinda tired and decided to head out. Anyway, COWBOYS is a chill ass place and I encourage anybody that makes it to Calgary to check it out. Decent music, lots of sexy women and cheap alcohol (on thursdays).

Wow...i've been writing for like 90 minutes...haha, im gonna take a break, i'll finish it up tomorrow...

[WarreN]

Ok, im refreshed. Time to finish this up....Ok so we leave COWBOYS and we go back to his house where we drink a some more until we're both dead tired and dead drunk, haha. Fun stuff. Next morning Bowen wakes me up and we go to the Mall again. He wants me to try a "Poutine". These are pretty damn popular over in Canada, but haven't been introduced to the US yet. I find out why...these are cups of fries with mozerella cheese curdles on top and gravy poured over them...Pretty much a heart attack in a cup. They are pretty damn good though.

So then we check out the mall a bit and then we're chillen outside the mall and Bowen is trying to decide what to do and we start talking about girls in Canada...this leads to discussion of strippers. We're talking about one main difference from Canadian strip clubs to US ones...ALCOHOL. In Canada you can drink in a strip club(and smoke) and the strippers are still completely naked. In the US if there is alcohol being served, then the strippers are only topless. Just a nice little fact for you all So when it comes to strip clubs Canada > US. Bowen takes me to a strip club called "The French Maid". It's about 2pm in the afternoon, so I'm feeling a little bit like a pervert..needless to say, that feeling didn't stop me from going in. Inside "The French Maid" is a pretty decent sized strip club with a nice big bar in the center and a huge stage off to the left side. I guess they also serve food there too, which leads me to believe that some guys probably live there. You have naked women, alcohol, food and music...what more do you need? We take a seat next to the stage, but not directly next to it as we are cheap and don't want to HAVE to throw her money :P haha In Canada the strip clubs have a different feel to them...like I guess there is some type of etiquette here. You have a stripper, now the woman gets 3 songs, first one she just dances no clothes come off and she gets no money. Coincidentally this was also the most boring part and you could see it on the girls face. 2nd song she takes off her top...little more enthusiasm...still no money. 3rd song, she gets completely nake and starts playing these games with the guys around the bar. I didn't quite get to see what was going on, but it involved her sitting in front of you with her legs wide open and you throwing dollar coins at her..you know. It was pretty cool I suppose..I mean, it WAS only 2pm in the afternoon and Bowen says it gets pretty crazy in there at night. The dancers were all pretty damn hot though and that is rule #1 in a strip club anyway. One VERY important find at the strip club came when I was kicking Bowen's ass at a game of Pool. If you know me well then you know that I am camp champ at Pool...im just pretty fucken nuts at the game, what can I say. So here I am showing Bowen whats what and we order some beers. I'm doing my best to be diverse so that I can sample all the good beers in Canada. So I order a "Canadian". Seems simple enough and its the beer that I kept seeing on commericals, plus I figure you cant go to Canada without drinking a "Canadian". Bowen orders a strongbow, which is a type of cider. The waitress brings the drink and being that I don't know shit, I see the one beer in a glass and the other in a bottle, so I figure that the Canadian one is in a glass because they have it on tap because its "Canadian". I drink it and immediately fall in love...this is some damn good beer...tastes like apples. Yea I know, I'm an idiot, but at this point, I didn't know Bowen had ordered a cider, haha. So we're playing Pool and I keep drinking this beer and I'm like damn..."this is my new favorite beer, its fucken GOOD!". Bowen is kinda confused I assume because he knows that "Canadian" really only tastes like normal beer. I take one more drink and there's about a quarter of a glass left and I take my pool shot. I glance back at Bowen and I notice he is drinking MY "Canadian" and I'm like "wtf". So he says "Hey man! You been drinking my beer?!" and I say "no fucker, you just finished my Canadian! That shit was hella good!". He starts laughing and hands me the regular beer bottle next to the empty glass...I take a look, it says "Canadian" on it and I just start laughing. So it turns out the StrongBowCIDER is my favorite drink in Canada so far and with that we leave The French Maid.


Then we decide to head on over to a Casino/bowling alley because Bowen is feeling like an ass whoopen. This is good, because I just so happen to be in the mood to give him one. We get to this bowling alley and I guess it is being renovated, because they only had about 7 lanes and the computers are down so we have to keep score by hand. I'm looking for a ball...and wow, this place is shitty. All the balls are crappy with cuts in them like crazy...it doesn't matter though, I don't need a perfect Ball to beat some asian boy at Bowling! 1 hour later...the score is 2-1 in favor of Bowen...he beat me, BUT I will say, I'm pretty damn kick ass at bowling, I got the whole spinny thing going, so I challenge anyone reading this to a game, I'll kick your ass! Concelation prize is I bowled a 150 on the game I beat him...thats pretty decent and I was the only one to break 100.

[WarreN]

After we leave the casino/bowling alley we are both pretty hungry...not to mention thirsty...by then I hadn't had a beer in like 2 hours! Bowen decides that he wants to take me to a chinese food restraunt. So we go to downtown china town. Thing is, im kinda scared because im pretty picky when it comes to asian food. I know its pretty bad, but usually the only chinese food I like is Panda Express..ahah. Orange chicken is the shit! Anyway, Bowen assures me that we will find something I like there and if not, he will just take me to some fastfood place...oh nice. We get there and its a restraunt right off of the street. Self proclaimed "Hong Kong Style Cafe". We order some cheesey rice with pork chops, sweet-n-sour pork and some noodle plate. It was all pretty damn good I must admit. I'm not a big fan of noodles though, and they tasted just like Chow mein, so besides that it was good. We head home with an armfull of left-overs knowing they'd be key at 4am when we were good and drunk.

We get back to Bowen's and we let the drinking commence! We start drinking EVERY damn thing in his bar. Soon enough we're filling pretty damn good, so Bowen calls a few friends that are hangin out at a local pub. We head down there to hang out with them. So we get to the pub and there is about 10 of Bowens friends hangin out drinking. Sounds good enough to me. We drink a couple beers, by now Bowen has decided that he may need to slow down because he has to drive in a little while, but not me, so I drink his and mine because I'm a trooper like that. So we're all feeling pretty damn good and decide that its time for a group drink. About 7 of us go to the bar and we all get Irish car bombs, which is perfect because I love Guiness! I'm pretty drunk by now and we start taking lots of pictures...and the girls start taking booby pictures which is always nice So here's where it gets interesting, I go to the "washroom" and as soon as I walk in, I bump into this guy and then I hear "whoa big feller" in the most crazy irish canadian accent ever. So I just do my business, meanwhile this guy keeps talking to me and this other guy in the bathroom. His accent is sooo damn crazy, and him and this othe guy are the most Canadian fuckers that I've met yet. So I finish up and I interrupt him "Man, you 2 guys are Canadian as FUCK! You gotta take a picture with me!" So the one guy is like "If you buy me a beer, you can take as many pictures as you want! I'll even sit on your lap" haha. So this guy, whom is by HIMSELF at the bar comes over to our table and takes a picture with me and the other guy. Then he kinda just decides to invite himself to hang out, which is totally cool because thats how people are in Canada...CHILL as fuck! So I decide that I need to get this guy on video or something. So I take the camera and I bring him over and I ask him to introduce himself to the camera and say a few things. The rest is history because this guy had a motor mouth and was funny as hell!
crazy ass fucken Canadian!

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There are plenty more videos which I will upload later, but that guy was just hilarious. So we have a few more drinks and we decide to call it a night. We head back to Bowens and crash because at this point, it is about 3am or so. Another fun night in Canada.

The next morning I wake up pretty drunk still....the night before we calculated that I had drank about 25 drinks or so...with shots being about half of that. This is to be my last true day in Canada as I was supposed to be going home the next day, Sunday. My last day...and we had already done sooo much. So we wake up pretty late actually...around 1pm I think...go to KFC for another poutine with Bowens friend Chris. Bowen wanted to make sure I had my fill of poutines and that I had a chance to sample the different kinds. So by this time, its about 3 or 4pm and I decide that I wanted a new hat from Canada. So we go to a mall...no luck. Only 1 hat store and they didnt have what I was looking for. So we go back to the other mall. I find a couple hat stores there, but all the hats in Canada dont fit right...they are super big and make me look like a damn train conductor. I decide that my guiness hat that I brought from the US will suffice. It is now about 6pm, Bowen had invited people from the pub the night before to come to the house to watch the Hockey game. It was the Flames season home opener against rivals Edmonton Oilers. We were supposed to meet them at the house by 7:30...90 minutes left to go find a place to eat, get to the liquor store to restock and be back at the house. We try and go to the cactus cafe, but everyone and their momma is there...the wait is 30 minutes. So we try another place, same problem. now its 6:30 and we have 1 hour to order, eat and get to the liquor store. We decide to try one more place. We go to Moxies, another bar&grill. We get seated right away, but decide that at this rate, if we order, we are going to be late. So we just order a drink and we down it. We're thinking that our best bet is to just get the liquor, get a pizza and get home.

We get to Bowens favorite liquor store, we're supposed to be in-n-out just grabbing some vodka and maybe a little something else. While we are they however, we stumble across a glass case and behind it we see a pine Box that says Gran Patron on it. Then out of nowhere some guy comes around the corner and starts rambling about this Patron like it's the HOLY GRAIL. Naturally Bowen and I are intrigued by this alcohol nerd and listen to him as he continues his sonet about how this patron is the best and what not. So we ask the price, $230 CAD. We both look at eachother like "fuuuuuuuck!" After thinking about it for a few minutes, we decide that it is my last night in Canada and if we're going to go big tonight is the night. Besides that, Bowen's bar is the shit, and he needed something to spruce it up. So we get the Patron Platinum. Its now 7:30-7:45 and we are late to our own kick back. We order pizza over the phone and get to the house.


Everyone shows up about 10 minutes later beer in hand, ready to watch some hockey and drink it up. We start drinking and decide that everytime they score we all do a round of shots. Hockey isn't a very high scoring game, so I quickly decide that this will not do at all. I initiate shot taking about every 30 minutes. Bowen's bar is pretty big as I've said, so this leads to people trying to be picky or becoming very undecisive due to the large selection. I decide that we are going to pour 7 shots without anyone seeing what is poured, then have people pick a number between 1 and 7 and give them the corresponding shot...worked like a charm! We all start drinking a lot and the game ends, FLAMES win! Being the fun American I am, I decide that we need to play a drinking game...everyone is kinda iffy about it, so we agree to play "I have never". Which in Canada is "Never have I ever" I guess, because that's what some of them were saying. We play the game for a while, long enough for some uncontrollable laughter and awkward silences to happen. Now im pretty buzzed at this point..and we all decide to head out to Swans, a nearby bar where a lot of their friends are waiting. So we head out!

[WarreN]

Now you will have to forgive me because at this point, I don't remember much... We get to swans, I show my ID, walk in and buy a beer right at the door from some chick with a tub of beers. Bowen couldn't get in because he had forgotten his ID, so we had to go to the backdoor and let him in. We get to the area by the pool tables where all of his friends are...I think I met a couple and then did what I do best, mingle. I just start making my way around the bar and talking to random people. I'm an EXTREMELY nice drunk, so thats what I do. Up until this point, Bowen had been paying for EVERYTHING for me. I had $60 on me, I started buying drinks left and right. Grabbing random people and taking shots with them. Talking to everyone near me and here's the thing, like I said before Canada is chill like that, the people are so damn friendly that you don't have to know anybody. YOu can just sit next to someone and start choppin it up and it isn't wierd or awkward. I make a few rounds and meet some people, all the while I havent stopped drinking since I got there and my pockets are getting empty. I meet some guy from Denver that starts acting like a badass, but somehow we become friends and he buys me a drink...that is really the last thing I remember. The rest is all from Bowen's mouth. He says that I came up to him saying that we needed to leave because I had punched some guy..this could be true, because my hand was swollen the next day. So I guess we say goodbye, hop into someones truck bed and head home. We get there and Bowen says I am drunker than shit saying that I need to piss. He says that I was doing laps in his front room trying to "get speed" to make it to the bathroom. Then I take a piss and my pants never come back on. I hop from the bathroom with my pants around my ankles into his room and lay at the edge of the bed. He gets me a bag and I start puking. I guess I didn't puke much, but he decided I should hang with the porcelain god for a while. So there I am in the bathroom with my head accross the toilet. The next morning I wake up feeling HORRIBLE. I can't remember shit..I go to the bathroom and I look at myself thinking "what did I do last night? What happened" I start to wash my face and hands and there on my arm is someones number written..first thing I think is "DAMN! Too drunk to call a girl that wrote her number on my arm! NOOO" haha. So I'm feeling hella shitty...not hungover, but my stomache just hurts.



Also a little sad because I know that today is my final day in Canada. I feel pretty shitty, but Bowen and I go out to the Cactus Cafe for my last meal. A nice steak...while there I am thinking that I'm not ready to leave yet and that I feel like shit and would enjoy one more day of relaxation. I decide to stay one more night, but we've decided to just hang out, no drinking...at least not in excess. We take the rest of the day hanging out and reflecting on the weekend and what has happened. We had a couple drinks that night, but nothing major. Went to one more bar and just relaxed. The next day I went to the airport and said goodbye to Bowen...Goodbye to Canada, a place I will never forget. The plane ride home I was feeling pretty meloncholy because I knew work was happening the next day, not to mention the fact that all my Canada fun was over. Got to the US...and I literally FLEW through our customs department in 20 minutes. Ended up paying $100 for parking because they had gotten my license plate number, drove home and got in bed. I ended the night thinking of Canada and how/when i was going to return there, because I WILL return SOON!

Thanks for reading. Sorry I made it so long, I just wanted to put a lot of detail into it for all the people that haven't been there and also for all my friends that keep asking what I did.
Stay tuned for the CanaDUH- Episode II

I posted this straight from my myspace blog, so hopefully it came out right.

[Sweat_shop]

Glad you enjoyed canada... Molson canadian is not one of our best beers down here but we do have good beer and poutines are amazing.

[WarreN]

yea, I liked strongbo, but I realize that's a cider

[Guest]

alright I read the first part and Im balling.. man Warren, how do you not have a passport?? Also wtf with them cutting your suitcase with a knife? I'd be pretty pissed too if that was the case..

[IndyColtsGal]

Love it. Warren too bad I'm already married I love your style.

[Koot]

Ha that's a good one. I'm jealous that you went to Canada and my only random trip was to Omaha Nebraska. Still fun but not as exciting as yours. I want to try the poutines so bad. I saw it on my favorite show Three Sheets when Zane was in Whistler.

Here I thought you were a nice drunk and you can't even remember punching some random guy?

[WarreN]

Love it. Warren too bad I'm already married I love your style.

Why thank you

Ha that's a good one. I'm jealous that you went to Canada and my only random trip was to Omaha Nebraska. Still fun but not as exciting as yours. I want to try the poutines so bad. I saw it on my favorite show Three Sheets when Zane was in Whistler.

Here I thought you were a nice drunk and you can't even remember punching some random guy?

I really am a very nice drunk, overly nice sometimes, haha. The guy wasn't from Canada, some douche...I ended up remembering a little about what happened and lets just say he wasn't very polite! I've seriously only been in like 3 bar fights my entire life and I didn't start any of them.

[IndyColtsGal]

Ha that's a good one. I'm jealous that you went to Canada and my only random trip was to Omaha Nebraska. Still fun but not as exciting as yours. I want to try the poutines so bad. I saw it on my favorite show Three Sheets when Zane was in Whistler.

Here I thought you were a nice drunk and you can't even remember punching some random guy?

OHHHH I love Zane he is hilarious when he gets drunk. What does he call that stupid monkey?

[Koot]

Pleeplius I believe. He is doing a comedy tour right now with Steve McKenna and I think Mark Ryan or someone. They are gonna be here in KC June 25 or 26th. I'm gonna buy tickets this weekend. Should be wild.

[Cisco419]

Finally read this.... Good times bro!

[BritishV]

This is just brilliant! Sooo funny Warren, and sounds like you drank a LOT!!!

The strongbow thing is hilarious! Strongbow btw is SHIT cider, complete crap. You need to try Magners. Oh and pear cider, which is really good, Kopparberg.

Can you not get cider in the US? I hadn't noticed as it's really a drink for kids/students or at BBQs. If I was flying straight to LA I'd bring you a couple of cans...but I can't be arsed! Sorry!