Had to make a quick business trip to Las Vegas! As you all know I'm a professional gambler. I needed to get down a few bets on some College Basketball games and because I'm big time I was able to get upgraded to First Class.
On the flight there I was able to join the Mile High Club. Well not exactly. I spent a little alone time with a copy of a SkyMall catalogue. There was a picture of a pretty hot chick doing some aerobics routine. There was also a picture of some sort of latin girl that looked like a Shakira/J-Lo hybrid. She was standing next to some poker chips. That was pretty hot so it did the trick. Being in first class allowed me some extra room in the lavatory.
When I landed I took a limo directly to Bellagio where the conseirge awaited me with open arms. I went right to the sportsbook and marched right up to the counter. Saw the clerk and I fired away, "Hey Charlie give me a nickle on Butler +3.5, throw a dime on West Virginia +4 and another nickle on a Baylor/Duke over 137.5" I got most of my bets down and had probably 20 dimes ($20,000) in action at this point.
I noticed there's this big guy (looks like a football player) standing behind me and I see he's writing down my plays. I tell this prick to beat it as I'm not sharing my plays with anyone. I get the info from a couple pros back in Newark and I dont need the Sportsbook banning me for making sharp bets.
We get into a little bit and the guy makes a comment about my Mink coat and my hair piece. At that point I deliver approximately 6-7 straight punches to the chest of this giant and he's on the floor. Size is not a factor when I throw down.
I grab my tickets and take my leave from the Casino. I still have 5 hours before my return flight to New Jersey and I still have some business to take care of.
I meet up with my pal Nassau out front of Caesars Palace and settle up from a scam we've been pulling on tourists. Long story short we take a new laptop and offer it to tourists for $500 per lapper. The value is at least $1200 so these greedy bastards jump all over it.
Of course we dont give them the model we are showing. We give them a new model sealed in a box. When they get home they realize that the box contains a yellow pages phone book and no computer. By then we're long gone.
We sold 70 computers since last weekend. Thats $35,000 for us to split 55-45 for me. Now you know why he is retired at such a young age. The guy has all the scams down.
After that I went to Spearment Rhino to meet up with NyceGuy. Spearment Rhino is a gentlemans clubs and of course NyceGuy has a great seat in the Champagne room.
We had a couple of lapdances and shared some laughs. We used to do all sorts of shit when we were younger...Head slaps, Pecker Grabs, Pully fingers, tooth pasting when someone falls asleep. Don't wear sweat pants around us either, because we will pull them down in a heart beat and hit the ground laughing for five minutes. It was good to see Nycer again.
From there I went to the Mirage to meet up with Dnix for a couple cocktails. Ever hear the expression "No shame in my game" well that is the epitome of Dnix philosophy. He lets it all hang out. He says what he wants, when he wants, to whomever he wants to.
A couple of older women sat next to us on the table, Dnix immediately began flirting with them, and talk about a natural bullshitter. He was telling these ladies he was a Producer for all the hottest young rappers out there. He told him he had his own plane, limo, etc, and then after he had noticeably impressed these women he told one to pull his finger. She obliged only to hear the loudest fart I have ever heard, Dnix was laughing his balls off, saying I gotcha, I gotcha.
We definitely could have closed these cougars until that happened. Talk about annoying.
From there I headed back to the Airport for my redeye back to Newark Airport.
What did you guys do today?
On the flight there I was able to join the Mile High Club. Well not exactly. I spent a little alone time with a copy of a SkyMall catalogue. There was a picture of a pretty hot chick doing some aerobics routine. There was also a picture of some sort of latin girl that looked like a Shakira/J-Lo hybrid. She was standing next to some poker chips. That was pretty hot so it did the trick. Being in first class allowed me some extra room in the lavatory.
When I landed I took a limo directly to Bellagio where the conseirge awaited me with open arms. I went right to the sportsbook and marched right up to the counter. Saw the clerk and I fired away, "Hey Charlie give me a nickle on Butler +3.5, throw a dime on West Virginia +4 and another nickle on a Baylor/Duke over 137.5" I got most of my bets down and had probably 20 dimes ($20,000) in action at this point.
I noticed there's this big guy (looks like a football player) standing behind me and I see he's writing down my plays. I tell this prick to beat it as I'm not sharing my plays with anyone. I get the info from a couple pros back in Newark and I dont need the Sportsbook banning me for making sharp bets.
We get into a little bit and the guy makes a comment about my Mink coat and my hair piece. At that point I deliver approximately 6-7 straight punches to the chest of this giant and he's on the floor. Size is not a factor when I throw down.
I grab my tickets and take my leave from the Casino. I still have 5 hours before my return flight to New Jersey and I still have some business to take care of.
I meet up with my pal Nassau out front of Caesars Palace and settle up from a scam we've been pulling on tourists. Long story short we take a new laptop and offer it to tourists for $500 per lapper. The value is at least $1200 so these greedy bastards jump all over it.
Of course we dont give them the model we are showing. We give them a new model sealed in a box. When they get home they realize that the box contains a yellow pages phone book and no computer. By then we're long gone.
We sold 70 computers since last weekend. Thats $35,000 for us to split 55-45 for me. Now you know why he is retired at such a young age. The guy has all the scams down.
After that I went to Spearment Rhino to meet up with NyceGuy. Spearment Rhino is a gentlemans clubs and of course NyceGuy has a great seat in the Champagne room.
We had a couple of lapdances and shared some laughs. We used to do all sorts of shit when we were younger...Head slaps, Pecker Grabs, Pully fingers, tooth pasting when someone falls asleep. Don't wear sweat pants around us either, because we will pull them down in a heart beat and hit the ground laughing for five minutes. It was good to see Nycer again.
From there I went to the Mirage to meet up with Dnix for a couple cocktails. Ever hear the expression "No shame in my game" well that is the epitome of Dnix philosophy. He lets it all hang out. He says what he wants, when he wants, to whomever he wants to.
A couple of older women sat next to us on the table, Dnix immediately began flirting with them, and talk about a natural bullshitter. He was telling these ladies he was a Producer for all the hottest young rappers out there. He told him he had his own plane, limo, etc, and then after he had noticeably impressed these women he told one to pull his finger. She obliged only to hear the loudest fart I have ever heard, Dnix was laughing his balls off, saying I gotcha, I gotcha.
We definitely could have closed these cougars until that happened. Talk about annoying.
From there I headed back to the Airport for my redeye back to Newark Airport.
What did you guys do today?
Sorry Larry
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