Picking up
Broke down Scotty Nguyen
Ok, picking things back up. We make our getaway from the IP and head downtown while the TI bartender/walrus woman is sleeping her afternoon away in our luxurious suite. What we'll do if she's still there when we get back matters not, because now it's time to do some cheap gambling and begin drinking ourselves into oblivion. After all, that's what we do in Vegas. We gamble, we drink and we try to balance out our buffoonery and regrettable decisions with fun and memories that will last a lifetime.......as fuzzy as they may be.
Downtown doesn't get spoken about much here and that's a shame. Because there really isn't a better place to go have some low-brow balls to the walls fun. Being the classy guys that we are, we begin our afternoon (its about 330 by the time we park and hit the streets) at our second favorite downtown casino. Le Bayou bitches! No table games, casino the size of a 7-11, no problem. Seriously, what's not to like about this place. You are greated with beads from girls in ridiculous mardi gras costumes, there are constant drawings for prizes and I defy anybody to name a place with better drink service. Seriously, try it some time. Have your waitress get you a beer, give her a dollar and then watch as she literally stands there next to you until you are ready to order another one. Or more likely, she just goes and gets you one whether you want one or not. On top of that, they have their frozen drinks that are luxuriously served in footballs!
After only an hour or so in Le Bayou, we are already significantly buzzed. Next up on our agenda is working our way down to the El Cortez. There's a few stops along the way -- most notably Mermaids for deep fried twinkies -- and we hit every casino along the way.
Wait, before I go any further........Can somebody please explain to me the deal between Hawaiians and the California casino? Why is that place always crawling with them?
Ok, back to our trip down fremont street. So, by the time we finally reach the Elco, it's about 7 pm and we're already getting into the time when we'd planned to be back to the Mandalay,napping and preparing for the evening. Screw it, we're men and we're going to drink like some G Damned men and live.
I always like going into the ElCo. Where most casinos are bright and lively, the ElCo reeks of desperation and death. There's zero doubt that old timers die at slot machines on a daily basis in this joint. But, it's ultra cheap gambling, great people watching (and I'm sure they are just as much enjoying watching us stumble around) and it's a Vegas tradition for us.
We start off balling out on the 2 cent Texas Tea slot machine. I kid you not, I'm sitting next to this old lady and she goes ape shit about something being wrong with the machine. She has just won like 200 dollars but is totally confused and doesn't understand why the machine keeps giving her more credits when all she wants to do is play out her last dollar. LOL.
Anyway, to make a long story short (as you can tell by now, brevity is my calling card) we end up at a 3 dollar blackjack table. 9 out of 10 times, I play by the book strategy. But, if there's one thing I can't stand it's a loudmouth at the table who has to comment on everybody's play, whether it has any impact on his hand or not. Sure enough, we've got this old beaten down wannabe Scotty Nguyen at our table who is totally losing his shit over everything that anybody else on the table does. More aggravating, he's playing maybe 1 out of every six hands. Words ensue, and to make a long story short. I've now been forcibly removed from a casino. I didn't go alone though. My boy Rod is tossed as is BDSN.
In the interest of moving along, know that the rest of our trip downtown includes my boy getting taken for 50 bucks by a couple street hustlers in an attempt to buy some weed. A couple drinks at the Gryphon (love that bar by the way, rules actually) and a hummer limo rid (just two of us mind you) back to the Mandalay Bay where we finally roll in around 10-1015 when we'd planned to be back by 7.
Now, we've got to figure out what to do for Saturday night?
If you're scoring at home and you say why not hit Body English, Cleopatra's Barge and then re-create the closing scene from Dirty Dancing (the big swan lift) with randoms on the casino floor of the Flamingo.......well, you've only got part of the evening correct!
Broke down Scotty Nguyen
Ok, picking things back up. We make our getaway from the IP and head downtown while the TI bartender/walrus woman is sleeping her afternoon away in our luxurious suite. What we'll do if she's still there when we get back matters not, because now it's time to do some cheap gambling and begin drinking ourselves into oblivion. After all, that's what we do in Vegas. We gamble, we drink and we try to balance out our buffoonery and regrettable decisions with fun and memories that will last a lifetime.......as fuzzy as they may be.
Downtown doesn't get spoken about much here and that's a shame. Because there really isn't a better place to go have some low-brow balls to the walls fun. Being the classy guys that we are, we begin our afternoon (its about 330 by the time we park and hit the streets) at our second favorite downtown casino. Le Bayou bitches! No table games, casino the size of a 7-11, no problem. Seriously, what's not to like about this place. You are greated with beads from girls in ridiculous mardi gras costumes, there are constant drawings for prizes and I defy anybody to name a place with better drink service. Seriously, try it some time. Have your waitress get you a beer, give her a dollar and then watch as she literally stands there next to you until you are ready to order another one. Or more likely, she just goes and gets you one whether you want one or not. On top of that, they have their frozen drinks that are luxuriously served in footballs!
After only an hour or so in Le Bayou, we are already significantly buzzed. Next up on our agenda is working our way down to the El Cortez. There's a few stops along the way -- most notably Mermaids for deep fried twinkies -- and we hit every casino along the way.
Wait, before I go any further........Can somebody please explain to me the deal between Hawaiians and the California casino? Why is that place always crawling with them?
Ok, back to our trip down fremont street. So, by the time we finally reach the Elco, it's about 7 pm and we're already getting into the time when we'd planned to be back to the Mandalay,napping and preparing for the evening. Screw it, we're men and we're going to drink like some G Damned men and live.
I always like going into the ElCo. Where most casinos are bright and lively, the ElCo reeks of desperation and death. There's zero doubt that old timers die at slot machines on a daily basis in this joint. But, it's ultra cheap gambling, great people watching (and I'm sure they are just as much enjoying watching us stumble around) and it's a Vegas tradition for us.
We start off balling out on the 2 cent Texas Tea slot machine. I kid you not, I'm sitting next to this old lady and she goes ape shit about something being wrong with the machine. She has just won like 200 dollars but is totally confused and doesn't understand why the machine keeps giving her more credits when all she wants to do is play out her last dollar. LOL.
Anyway, to make a long story short (as you can tell by now, brevity is my calling card) we end up at a 3 dollar blackjack table. 9 out of 10 times, I play by the book strategy. But, if there's one thing I can't stand it's a loudmouth at the table who has to comment on everybody's play, whether it has any impact on his hand or not. Sure enough, we've got this old beaten down wannabe Scotty Nguyen at our table who is totally losing his shit over everything that anybody else on the table does. More aggravating, he's playing maybe 1 out of every six hands. Words ensue, and to make a long story short. I've now been forcibly removed from a casino. I didn't go alone though. My boy Rod is tossed as is BDSN.
In the interest of moving along, know that the rest of our trip downtown includes my boy getting taken for 50 bucks by a couple street hustlers in an attempt to buy some weed. A couple drinks at the Gryphon (love that bar by the way, rules actually) and a hummer limo rid (just two of us mind you) back to the Mandalay Bay where we finally roll in around 10-1015 when we'd planned to be back by 7.
Now, we've got to figure out what to do for Saturday night?
If you're scoring at home and you say why not hit Body English, Cleopatra's Barge and then re-create the closing scene from Dirty Dancing (the big swan lift) with randoms on the casino floor of the Flamingo.......well, you've only got part of the evening correct!
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