How bout a joke for ya!

[Cisco419]

I was going thru some jokes and read this one and figured I'd share with ya guys...

189
The truth about beer.

Yesterday, after extensive testing, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones... yes, it's true.

To prove their theory, the scientists had 100 men consume 12 bottles of beer.

They then observed that 100% of them:
1: Gained weight.
2: Talked excessively without making sense.
3: Became emotional.
4: Called home just to see if anyone called.
5: Couldn't drive.
6: Went to the bathroom in groups.
7: Rearranged the furniture for no apparent reason.
No further testing is planned.

[dnix]

hahahahahhaha

[Keebler]

hahahaha, thats great, but i still dont go to the bathroom in groups. After enough drinks i just go in my pants, and if im standing around a bunch of people i guess you could count that as going to the bathroom with a group no?

[IRockNvegas]

haha
nice one

[partyinvegas25]

funny stuff cisco!

but I'm really mad...

[Cisco419]

funny stuff cisco!

but I'm really mad...

Well that's too bad! lol

[nyc2vegas]

good one cisco there are only about 4 girls on the board lets piss em all of!! hahaha

[Keebler]

Hes the mayor. His wish is to be surrounded by dudes so hes using his power to make it so

[Cisco419]

Hes the mayor. His wish is to be surrounded by dudes so hes using his power to make it so

Nah, that's NYC's dream!!!

[nyc2vegas]

Nah, that's NYC's dream!!!

ill just hang with dnix at the gay bars

[nassau]

you guys are just brutal...

[Cisco419]

One more for ya:

246
Actual Court Sayings!

30 things people actually said in court

Question
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Question
2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.

Question
3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?

Question
4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years

Question
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A My name is Susan.

Question
6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost
499. Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and
500.

Question
7. Q: Sir, What is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Question
8. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Question
9. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do. Q: Voodoo?
A: We do. Q: You do?
A: Yes, Voodoo.

Question
10. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendent, were you red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes Q: Did the defendent say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes sir Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Question
11. Q: Now doctor, isnt it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesnt know about it until the next morning?

Question
12. Q: The youngest son, the 22 year old, how old is he?

Question
13. Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Question
14. Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Question
15. Q: Did he kill you?

Question
16. Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

Question
17. Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Question
18. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Question
19. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at the time?

Question
20. Q: She had three children right?
A: Yes. Q: How many were boys?
A: none. Q: Were there any girls?

Question
21. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: yes Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Question
22. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather eleborate honeymoon, didnt you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife?

Question
23. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Question
24. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Question
25. Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male or female?

Question
26. Q: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Question
27. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK,? What school did you go to?
A: Oral

Question
28. Q: Do you recall the time you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Question
29. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Question
30. Qoctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No. Q: So it was possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brains was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patien have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he coulkd have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[Keebler]

Question
27. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK,? What school did you go to?
A: Oral

hahahahahahah