Best Pick-up Lines

[Guest]

Me: "you girls want to come to my table for free bottle service"

Girl: "what do you mean free"

Me: "the club gives me bottles for free"

Gets em every time, just ask royale

hahahaha i have seen this demonstrated live many times

[MarioMercy]

I need to get back to my table over there, but I wanted your opinion on something... If you were Brad Pitt, who would you choose? Jennifer or Angelina?

[Meatball]

This never works but always makes me laugh.

You find the combo of two girls, one super hot the other fat and butt ugly (this isn't hard to find as they seem to pair up this way)

You approach the fat ugly girl of the pair and ask her if she wants to dance.......

as she is always ignored and its always her super hot friend who gets all the attention she will almost defiantly have a smile from ear to ear and reply with a keen "yes"

You then say "well fuck off while I talk to your friend then"

[ambrose132]

Tried it lots- Didn't care if it got results- have been slapped, and flashed on numerous occasions....

ME: Hey - Has anyone told you your you remind me of a sports car?
Girl: Really?
ME: Yeah- Your hot, but would definitely look better with the top off...

[Guest]

This never works but always makes me laugh.

You find the combo of two girls, one super hot the other fat and butt ugly (this isn't hard to find as they seem to pair up this way)

You approach the fat ugly girl of the pair and ask her if she wants to dance.......

as she is always ignored and its always her super hot friend who gets all the attention she will almost defiantly have a smile from ear to ear and reply with a keen "yes"

You then say "well fuck off while I talk to your friend then"

Or you can attack this sitch using 2 guys. Have one guy pre-agree to take the Nade, and the other one go for the hot one.

[superdave]

"Excuse me Miss, does this rag smell like chlorophorm?"

I keed, I keed...

[drew84]

Girl: im sorry I have a boyfriend back home!

You: I have a goldfish!!

Girl:....what???

You: oh, im sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.

[skins_54]

funny stuff

[CraigLombardi]

Girl on phone anywhere in Vegas. Walk up to her and say "If you're trying to text me here we get horrible reception, why don't we just talk instead?"

Girl with phone in hand. Say "Hey I have that same phone! Unfortunately mine doesn't have your number in it yet..."

I love the phone ones because EVERY girl has her phone in her hand - so here is one more that has worked wonders. Go up to a girl and hand her your phone. On it have a text to yourself that reads "We both know it is too loud in here to talk - so I wanted to be sure you got this. You look phenomenal tonight." - Yeah this one is the 2011 version of a check yes or no from 5th grade but it works.

[Meatball]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
Now get in the van

[shotskis]

Don't hold these against me.... top 100 submitted...

I use to have a site where people submitted stuff like this. this was one section that got pretty bad - LOL

Pick Up Lines:
1. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
2. Do you take it up the ass?
3. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
4. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
5. You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
6. I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
7. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
8. Bond. James Bond.
9. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
10. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
11. Would you like to see my boa constrictor?
12. Is that a false nose?
13. You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
14. I'm drunk.
15. Hi, my friends call me Creepy.
16. Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
17. I just threw up.
18. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
19. Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
20. You don't have to like me to have sex with me.
21. you must be a lumberjack... becuase you give me wood- www.n50.net
22. Did you just shit yourself?
23. How would you like to be my future ex-wife?
24. Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them.
25. You must be a screwdriver cuz I'd screw you all night long!
26. Do you own a juice stand, cause i think your VERYFINE.
27. I would love to tickle your bellybutton--from the inside.
28. You wanna go halves on a baby?
29. Excuse me, i seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
30. I like to fuck. Do you?
31. My name's Pogo, wanna jump on my stick?
32. Are you tired? Well you can sit on my face.
33. can i have your number because if i dont get it then i think i'm gonna die
34. I May noy be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock!
35. Would you like to go for a piazza and a fuck? if no, say "what you don't like piazza?"
36. sit on my face and call me a lizard
37. Nice shoes, wanta screw?
38. Would you help me look for my lost puppy, I think he's in that cheap motel room.
39. My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.
40. If I told you that you had a hot body, would you hold it agenst me?
41. So, you want to make out or what
42. yes my name is Tigh
43. My name is Aneeda, Aneeda Blowjob
44. If you were a porch, i'd take all the nails out and screw you
45. are those space pants your wearing?, cuz your ass is out of this world!
46. excuse me,do you know where i can find some oom phoo phoo.....or,can i just oom phoo phoo you girl?
47. Hi, was your dad a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
48. Nice shoes, wanta fuck?
49. call me Nellie 555-6792
50. you must be a carpenter... cuz you just created some wood.
51. Do you want to fuck or do I owe you an appology?
52. Sit on my lap and let's talk about the first thing that comes up!
53. That's a nice pair of jeans, any way I can talk you out of em?
54. You must be VISA, cause its everywhere I wanna be.
55. i was wondering if you could prove thats your real hair color
56. Someone needs to call heaven, cause with you down here god is missing an angel.
57. your feet must be getting tired, because you've been running through my mind all night long!
58. Why don't you get your bitch ass in the kitchen and make me some pie?
59. If I told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
60. Have you just had a shower or are you always wet when you see me ?
61. Hey baby, I'm in LIS
62. It turns me on to proofread your rough draft.
63. hey sexy, can i walk to herble's class with you?
64. Want to see my fuzzy purple nutsack? (Pull out a Crown Royal Bag filled with cashews.)
65. Excuse me miss but can I barrow your hole.
66. How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
67. What the hell! I'll fuck you!
68. The word of the day is legs why don't we go to my place and spread the word?
69. we should play house sometime. you can be the screen door and ill bang you all night long
70. I'm having a party, why not invite your dress down!
71. I'd eat a mile of your shit just to find out where it came from.
72. Are all the women in your family sluts or just you?
73. Can I park my Mercedes in your garage, darling?
74. Hey, I noticed you nodding off there, you wanna poke?
75. Want to go out for a pizza and a fuck? what you dont like pizza
76. I've got a 6pack and a 12 inch cock. How soon can you get here?
77. You know, that's a really nice dress your wearing but it would look much better on the floor next to my bed.
78. im going to bed.. you coming?
79. im not that good at algebra..but dosent u+i=69 ?
80. Are you from tennessee? Cuz your the only ten I see!
81. Do you work for UPS? Cuz I saw u checking out my package
82. There are 206 bones in the body, would you like another?
83. I HEARD U LIKE BALD GUYS AND LIKE SHAVING THEIR HEADS
84. are you horney cause iam
85. I have a twelve inch tongue and can breath through my ears.
86. u wanna feel my lil wet pussy wrapped around ur big hard cok?! - i do!
87. i seem to have a problem with my dick cause its following the roof
88. My name is Eunan McDaid lets go

I had to edit some out do to content... yes, some were worse then these.

[brian01]

Lolzzzzzzzzz, its nice one and well said.

[naterizzle]

#58 = lol....

i use to have a site where people submitted stuff like this. This was one section that got pretty bad - lol

pick up lines:
1. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
2. Do you take it up the ass?
3. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
4. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
5. You may not be really hot, but i bet you like to do it..
6. I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
7. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
8. Bond. James bond.
9. If i followed you home, would you keep me?
10. Is that a keg in your pants? 'cause i'd love to tap that ass.
11. Would you like to see my boa constrictor?
12. Is that a false nose?
13. You look like a hooker i knew in fresno.
14. I'm drunk.
15. Hi, my friends call me creepy.
16. Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
17. I just threw up.
18. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
19. Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
20. You don't have to like me to have sex with me.
21. You must be a lumberjack... Becuase you give me wood- www.n50.net
22. Did you just shit yourself?
23. How would you like to be my future ex-wife?
24. Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause i can see myself in them.
25. You must be a screwdriver cuz i'd screw you all night long!
26. Do you own a juice stand, cause i think your veryfine.
27. I would love to tickle your bellybutton--from the inside.
28. You wanna go halves on a baby?
29. Excuse me, i seem to have lost my number, can i have yours?
30. I like to fuck. Do you?
31. My name's pogo, wanna jump on my stick?
32. Are you tired? Well you can sit on my face.
33. Can i have your number because if i dont get it then i think i'm gonna die
34. I may noy be fred flintstone, but i bet i can make your bedrock!
35. Would you like to go for a piazza and a fuck? If no, say "what you don't like piazza?"
36. Sit on my face and call me a lizard
37. Nice shoes, wanta screw?
38. Would you help me look for my lost puppy, i think he's in that cheap motel room.
39. My friend wants to know if you think i'm cute.
40. If i told you that you had a hot body, would you hold it agenst me?
41. So, you want to make out or what
42. Yes my name is tigh
43. My name is aneeda, aneeda blowjob
44. If you were a porch, i'd take all the nails out and screw you
45. Are those space pants your wearing?, cuz your ass is out of this world!
46. Excuse me,do you know where i can find some oom phoo phoo.....or,can i just oom phoo phoo you girl?
47. Hi, was your dad a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
48. Nice shoes, wanta fuck?
49. Call me nellie 555-6792
50. You must be a carpenter... Cuz you just created some wood.
51. Do you want to fuck or do i owe you an appology?
52. Sit on my lap and let's talk about the first thing that comes up!
53. That's a nice pair of jeans, any way i can talk you out of em?
54. You must be visa, cause its everywhere i wanna be.
55. I was wondering if you could prove thats your real hair color
56. Someone needs to call heaven, cause with you down here god is missing an angel.
57. Your feet must be getting tired, because you've been running through my mind all night long!
58. Why don't you get your bitch ass in the kitchen and make me some pie?
59. If i told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
60. Have you just had a shower or are you always wet when you see me ?
61. Hey baby, i'm in lis
62. It turns me on to proofread your rough draft.
63. Hey sexy, can i walk to herble's class with you?
64. Want to see my fuzzy purple nutsack? (pull out a crown royal bag filled with cashews.)
65. Excuse me miss but can i barrow your hole.
66. How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
67. What the hell! I'll fuck you!
68. The word of the day is legs why don't we go to my place and spread the word?
69. We should play house sometime. You can be the screen door and ill bang you all night long
70. I'm having a party, why not invite your dress down!
71. I'd eat a mile of your shit just to find out where it came from.
72. Are all the women in your family sluts or just you?
73. Can i park my mercedes in your garage, darling?
74. Hey, i noticed you nodding off there, you wanna poke?
75. Want to go out for a pizza and a fuck? What you dont like pizza
76. I've got a 6pack and a 12 inch cock. How soon can you get here?
77. You know, that's a really nice dress your wearing but it would look much better on the floor next to my bed.
78. Im going to bed.. You coming?
79. Im not that good at algebra..but dosent u+i=69 ?
80. Are you from tennessee? Cuz your the only ten i see!
81. Do you work for ups? Cuz i saw u checking out my package
82. There are 206 bones in the body, would you like another?
83. I heard u like bald guys and like shaving their heads
84. Are you horney cause iam
85. I have a twelve inch tongue and can breath through my ears.
86. U wanna feel my lil wet pussy wrapped around ur big hard cok?! - i do!
87. I seem to have a problem with my dick cause its following the roof
88. My name is eunan mcdaid lets go

i had to edit some out do to content... Yes, some were worse then these.

[IRockNvegas]

#52 haha

[DaniJ715]

I still like "Do you have windex in your pants cause I can see myself in them." LOL It's so cheesy but it makes me laugh and could work if it came out right :P